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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not pay for lesson

258 replies

Tunsey · 11/12/2018 15:01

My DS goes to music lessons each week. He really enjoys it and he likes his tutor. The tutor runs a private business and asks for notice if we’re unable to attend (fair enough). So, when we’ve had school trips or holidays we’ve always given him at leat two weeks notice that DS won’t be attending.

However on two separate occasions we missed the lesson because of a traffic accident and bad traffic. So I called to let him know, apologising but obviously letting the tutor know that circumstances are out of our control. On both occasions he’s been rather rude saying we don’t value his time. On the second occasion he said that we’d need to pay for the lesson we’ve missed.

I don’t think that right because a) he’s never stated this before; b) my DS has been having lessons for over 18 months; and c) we can’t control traffic.

Am I being unreasonable- should I pay for the missed lesson?

OP posts:
allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 11/12/2018 15:14

Are you for real? Of course you should pay

CaptainsYuleLog · 11/12/2018 15:14

Of course you should pay. Can't believe you haven't already. How rude.

AdamNichol · 11/12/2018 15:15

Do you expect a refund on event tickets because it started on time instead of making everyone await your late arrival?

Joinourclub · 11/12/2018 15:15

I’m astonished that you could think that you didn’t have to pay!

Chocolatecoin · 11/12/2018 15:15

This is the second 'do I need to pay for my music lesson' thread today, that I've seen.

I am a music tutor, working in schools. I love my job - honestly I have the best job in the world. But its amazing how often people ask if they have to pay. At the moment I'm owed over £500 in fees outstanding - and yes its Christmas for me too. If I'm there, in school, waiting for your child then you have to pay. If they are late, or just forget to come - I'm really sorry but you still have to pay for my time.

ForgivenessIsDivine · 11/12/2018 15:15

Yep... you should pay.

It is hard being paid by the lesson as even with 2 weeks notice, he will struggle to make that income up. He is already being generous with his terms and should probably be charging per term.

Asking for money is difficult and yes, if you have already missed several lessons, he probably has begun to feel that you do not value his time. Also, you are probably not the only one.

Usernumbers1234 · 11/12/2018 15:15

Should pay for both lessons and apologise to him.

You’re lucky he let the first one pass. Not his responsibility, it’s yours.

KnightlyMyMan · 11/12/2018 15:16

Put it this way, if you’d already paid for the month would you expect the lesson refunding?

  • actually maybe you would 🤔

I’m not saying I can’t see your point - it’s the same if you’re late to anything because of traffic/ road accidents.

It’s not your fault there was an accident, but can you please explain to me how it is the tutors???

Or was he sat there waiting for your DS to show up and losing money through no fault of his own. I would pay without question and accept that getting your DS there on time is your responsibility. If tutor is there on time and waiting he gets paid- end of.

XJerseyGirlX · 11/12/2018 15:17

of course you should pay. He could have had another paying lesson in that time. Plan your journeys better

Orchidflower1 · 11/12/2018 15:18

The tutor very magnanimously let you off the first missed lesson- you should pay for the second. Tbh I’m surprised the tutor doesn’t ask for fees a few lessons in advance then this would not be an issue.

CloserIAm2Fine · 11/12/2018 15:19

YABU

of course you should pay! It’s not the tutors fault that you didn’t allow enough time for traffic traffic was bad.

Honestly the number of threads like this on MN lately it’s a wonder anyone gives music lessons at all!

Snorkers · 11/12/2018 15:19

Pay up!
What if all his clients got stuck in traffic - - couldn't organise themselves properly - -
Poor dude would not get paid!
What if you turned up to work and a colleague you were supposed to be in a meeting with couldn't make it. Would you be happy to forfeit your pay for that time?

arethereanyleftatall · 11/12/2018 15:19

Of course you should pay.
It beggars belief that you think the tutor should be the one who loses out because of traffic he wasn't even in!
You are very very lucky he doesn't charge you when you can't make it and give advance notice. Many businesses wouldn't because it would be unusual that they could fill that gap on an adhoc basis.

Henevieve · 11/12/2018 15:21

You are being 100% unreasonable.

You have paid for that person’s time - they can’t offer it to anyone else at such short notice.

They organise their life around an expectation of a certain income. The traffic isn’t their fault.

If I was the teacher I would be getting rid of you as soon as possible. You sound like an absolutely nightmare parent and total cf.

HSarah · 11/12/2018 15:22

This is surely a reverse. No one would think they shouldn't pay. How bad is the traffic that you have twice missed an entire lesson?

mcmooberry · 11/12/2018 15:22

Oh my goodness this cannot be a real question! I wouldn't even expect not to pay for holidays or a school trip, your slot is your slot. That poor music teacher!!

Puggles123 · 11/12/2018 15:23

This is likely his livliehood and not a hobby, so of course you should pay- it isn’t his fault there was traffic; I know it isn’t yours either necessarily, but he relies on that income and if everyone did the same he would earn nothing.

ellesbellesxxx · 11/12/2018 15:25

YABU

I wouldn’t have been grumpy but I would have charged for both missed lessons

arethereanyleftatall · 11/12/2018 15:25

You'd hate the ts and cs at my dds ballet class then op - pay for terms group lessons upfront. If you miss a class, for whatever reason, not only do you not get your money back for that class (I think the teacher would think you were barking if you asked) - but you have to pay 4x the group class price for a private lesson to catch up what you missed.

gamerchick · 11/12/2018 15:27

No you need to pay. Next time you'll make a more conscious effort to get there even if you're early.

I've been late for work due to unexpected traffic shit and I've had my pay docked as were paid what the computer says. I can't demand that money because it wasn't my fault.

Suck it up man.

Dermymc · 11/12/2018 15:28

Of course you should pay, not his fault there's traffic! You've booked his time so pay for it.

ShalomJackie · 11/12/2018 15:29

Pretty unanimous there I'd say!

M4J4 · 11/12/2018 15:30

WTF did I just read?! Of course you pay you CF.

bringbackthestripes · 11/12/2018 15:32

Yep. You need to pay. It isn’t the tutors fault so why should he miss out on what is effectively his wages just because you couldn’t make it? By giving notice he could at least book someone else in the slot or arrange his free time, if you are just phoning at short notice -accident, traffic or whatever- not his problem and he shouldn’t miss out on his money.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 11/12/2018 15:33

You'd hate the ts and cs at my dds ballet class then op - pay for terms group lessons upfront. If you miss a class, for whatever reason, not only do you not get your money back for that class (I think the teacher would think you were barking if you asked) - but you have to pay 4x the group class price for a private lesson to catch up what you missed.
a bitquite draconian. Is this how it usually works?