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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not pay for lesson

258 replies

Tunsey · 11/12/2018 15:01

My DS goes to music lessons each week. He really enjoys it and he likes his tutor. The tutor runs a private business and asks for notice if we’re unable to attend (fair enough). So, when we’ve had school trips or holidays we’ve always given him at leat two weeks notice that DS won’t be attending.

However on two separate occasions we missed the lesson because of a traffic accident and bad traffic. So I called to let him know, apologising but obviously letting the tutor know that circumstances are out of our control. On both occasions he’s been rather rude saying we don’t value his time. On the second occasion he said that we’d need to pay for the lesson we’ve missed.

I don’t think that right because a) he’s never stated this before; b) my DS has been having lessons for over 18 months; and c) we can’t control traffic.

Am I being unreasonable- should I pay for the missed lesson?

OP posts:
Katedotness1963 · 12/12/2018 21:07

It doesn't matter that you're stuck in traffic, the tutor is there, ready to give the lesson. You have to pay them for their time whether you get there on time or not. Your tardiness is not their problem.

moredoll · 12/12/2018 21:10

The tutor has reserved the time for you. It's your slot and your responsibility to keep it. His income is affected if you don't turn up.
Some tutors ask for payment termly In advance to avoid this kind of scenario.

SnorkFavour · 12/12/2018 21:10

OP: Ha ha to I can’t manage the school run! Of course I can. But I can’t control traffic

I actually cannot BELIEVE this!!

YOU book a lesson, YOU bought his time, YOU make sure you get there on time. One of my children has extra maths lessons and sometimes the traffic is horrendous, I still expect to pay for the full hour, even if we only get 30 mins. I know the traffic can be like this and so I leave earlier accordingly. If that means getting there and waiting in the car for an age, sobeit!! I'm gobsmacked that you think that the teacher should lose out on his pay because you get held up. Imagine all his customers had traffic problems, how on earth would he pay his bills. He's probably surly towards you because he's never encountered anyone quite like you before and doesn't know how to deal with it.

Your attitude is quite incredible!

buckeejit · 12/12/2018 21:16

Do you have a job? You'd expect to be paid if the electric went off or something even though it's not your employers fault surely? It's the same

flowery · 12/12/2018 21:20

”And no terms and conditions”

Thought you said in the OP that he had always been clear that he requires notice for cancellations?

PunkrockerGirl59 · 12/12/2018 21:24

Of course you should pay ffs. The music teacher is running a business not a fucking charity. It's not their problem that you're stuck in traffic, it's too short notice for them to fill that slot with another pupil. It only takes a few entitled, thoughtless parents to take this attitude every week for the teacher's income to be seriously compromised.
Do you seriously not get that OP? Confused

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 12/12/2018 21:37

Did I not read this from the other perspective earlier ?

Poloshot · 12/12/2018 21:47

Where are you OP? Stuck in traffic?

Nanalisa60 · 12/12/2018 21:48

Of course you should pay why should he not get paid because you can’t get there on time. May be next year book the lesson for half an hour later so you won’t be late. Cancellations should be 24 hours in advance.

areyoubeingserviced · 12/12/2018 21:51

My dd has a French tutor. We have to give her at least twenty four hours notice if we cancel. If we do not give sufficient notice, we pay up. End of

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 12/12/2018 21:51

Op. Aibu
Literally everyone: yes, yes you are
Op: No I am not (flounces off)

Seriously why do some people bother posting.

Giraffey1 · 12/12/2018 21:54

Sorry but yes, you should pay. It’s his business and you didn’t turn up. He loses money if you don’t show and don’t pay.

Chucky16 · 12/12/2018 21:55

I have just read through this and cannot believe how badly this op has acted. Not just in not wanting to pay but in how she has went from saying how her son enjoys his lessons and how well he gets on with his tutor to saying he doesn’t prepare for lessons and is a CF. Only one CF, and that’s the op. Would love to see her reaction if her work said that they didn’t need her for the next hour in the middle of her shift, expected her to still sit in the office, but weren’t going to pay her for that hour as that is basically what she has done to the tutor.
Op you asked our advice and got it that YABVVU. Why don’t you come back onto this thread and tell us that you now know how stupid and unfair you have been and are going to apologise profusely to the tutor and pay him for BOTH lessons you missed, plus possibly a bonus for your CF behaviour.

FeatherStrong · 12/12/2018 22:04

Wow! 200+ comments - none agreeing with the @OP.
I hope you understand now, you need to pay.
Also ask to check for a later appointment time, to ease the issue with get there on time

pollymere · 12/12/2018 22:26

We used to have to pay, even if there was a school trip. Now we have a more flexible arrangement, but would obviously pay if it was our fault, other than illness with reasonable notice.

celticprincess · 12/12/2018 22:31

My children attend various things and payments vary. One is done by direct debit and we pay whether we turn up or not. Another is direct debit however they would refund if cancelled by then however not by us. Another we pay weekly. If we give advance we aren’t going they expect half feenfir the missed class in return as well as next class fee. If we don’t notify she expects full payment of missed class. I’ve also done pay as you go and only when you go.

I’ve also ran classes. One week no one turned up due to illness. I still had to pay hall fee and my petrol to get there and for (unused) resources. I very quickly encouraged people to sign up for blocks of sessions. I tutored many years ago on a pay as you go basis, traveller children. Some weeks they came and other weeks they didn’t. It played havoc with my finances and I learned the hard way about making some kind of contract in the future.

Basically the tutor should have really set out his terms and conditions stating things such as this and had you sign them. This makes a big difference. As there’s no contract then legally you don’t have to pay however it is this person’s livelihood and he still has bills to pay. You should make every effort to turn up to your lesson and realistically should pay even if you dont turn up.

JUstme123456778 · 12/12/2018 22:40

Omg some people here are ruthless ! She only asked your opinion...what a bunch of wolves you are.
You can say your opinion without being insulting or arrogant

OoohSmooch · 12/12/2018 23:16

Seems to me like some of you live in quite remote places with no traffic!

OP it's quite painful to read your being such a stickler that your opinion on this is right. The comments back to you couldn't be clearer.

I live in South East London, can't get much worse traffic wise and I am 100% that you should still pay.

Authenticcelestialmusic · 13/12/2018 08:04

I am struggling to understand why you think you shouldn’t pay. You booked a slot and didn’t turn up on two occasions! Then you call him a cf for asking for payment. At what point did you call him, 20/30 mins prior to the lesson at best I assume. Could you really not get there? Or did you not want to pay for a shorter lesson?

I am not in London (I am miles outside in a lower cost area) but assuming you pay the outside London average of £30 per hour how do you think a person can live without pay? His mortgage needs paying still. If three people cancel a week that’s £90. Most tutors only have 3:30 until 9 five times a week. But the gas, electric etc still need paying.

Traffic is busy at 3:30. Book for 5pm maybe to give yourself a hour or so to get there after school.

I think your attitude towards this is awful. You’ve even changed your story and contradicted yourself (you say in your op that he asks for notice for missed lessons). Pay the bloke, and as others have said pay for your other missed lessons too. If you are taking time off over Xmas pay.

Asking to be paid for the slot you reserved is not him being a cf.

GabsAlot · 13/12/2018 13:25

of course u shoujld pay he let u off once and your being a cf for thinking he wold do it again

my dsis is like this -traffic not her fault but always leaves to the exact minute she think it will take-never her fault though if she late

Mushroomsarehorrible · 13/12/2018 14:34

dummym

Tell the tutor to swivel. No lesson no money, flipping cheeky expecting to be paid

You don't know how the world works, do you dear Grin

Berniethefastestmilkwoman · 13/12/2018 14:38

We always pay for lessons in advance. We don't get a refund when we miss lessons for any reason. It wouldn't even occur to me that we should. YABVU.

foodenvy · 16/12/2018 07:22

OP YABU. If you don’t want to pay for the slot you have agreed on regardless if you make it or not, maybe you could have adhoc/standby lessons? The tutor can get in touch with you 30 mins before when some other CF has cancelled and that can be your slot. No wonder he was rude to you. I’d be making you pay upfront for a term.

NotScrewingUpNow · 16/12/2018 07:31

You should only pay if you signed a contract to pay during these circumstances. If not, then it's the tutors fault really. It's not like he can take you to court.

DeepanKrispanEven · 16/12/2018 07:54

NotScrewingUpNow, how could it be the tutor's fault? OP booked a lesson that she and her child didn't turn up for. It doesn't have to be spelt out in contract terms, she is liable to pay as a matter of law.