To worry I may never be able to afford children

[StarFish36]

Am I the only person who considers children cost money? I see so many couples around me having children who are in low paid jobs/council flats/minimal space/minimal money who really struggle. I can’t think of anything worse. I want to have a mortgage and own my own property before we start trying for children, I worry as I am in my late twenties and we have only just started a budget plan so we can save for a deposit. I just can’t see it happening for us. How can people try for children and not consider the position they are in? Not judging at all just genuinely cannot imagine feeling comfortable with having children before we buy a house. Also, if I had a baby whilst renting, it would make it harder for us to borrow in the long run, being on maternity & no guarantee of going back to work full time (you never know what can happen).

@josephine

Wow , that’s such good news, you should write to parliament and inform them that all children need is ‘love, encouragement and understanding parents’- spread the news that the country can stop paying child benefits and tax credits to parents who ‘need them to survive’ - tell them to love their kids hungry away! 😂

Think of the money that will be saved!

😒 FFS did you even read the post?
It’s literally all about people who can’t afford the roof over their heads and are not set up to have children but have them anyway - who CHOOSE to bring a child into certain poverty! Irresponsible and selfish choices!

Not parents who don’t have loads of money for trips to Florida or new Ipads!

Whoa re you to decide who deserves kids OrangeJellySpread. And the “no intention to work class” doesn’t exist.

Multi-generational families on benefits who’ve never worked is a pernicious, ugly lie. It’s just propaganda used to stoke hate.

The Joseph Rowentree Foundation conducted extensive research looking for these families in 2012 and couldn’t find them.

It’s just not true that people who don’t own their home are somehow terrible irresponsible parents! We have life insurance and critical illness cover that would support us/our children should something terrible happen.

Many people own a home but are so overstretches that a short illness could have them have to sell their home and move schools etc, whereas we rent well within our means and can survive for a long time if there was a crisis.

It’s just old prejudices coming out here.

TheFairyAstronaut you must get out of your ivory towers. We know many people who have no intention to work including relatives. They just milk the system as much as possible and not even shameful to boast about it.

OrangeJellySpread I'm curious as to how. Because there is a 2 child benefit cap now and as soon as the youngest child is school age you are expected to find work. As a single mother who spent time on benefits they certainly did not make it easy for me. I had to go to regular job centre meetings and go through plans of how I was going to get back into work from when my DS was only a year old. Unless you physically cannot work for whatever reason it's not easy at all to stay on benefits long term.

We've waited for 4 years to try for baby number and 2, to ensure we could afford to give him / her a comfortable life (had to wait for DH to get a promotion).
While it is sensible to wait, it does sound like you'll be financially secure In the future.. fertility declines after 30 so don't put it off too long just because of finance.
You'll find a way to make it work for you.

Have a child now while you still able to, continue to save deposit once they are in school. Don't be tempted or think carefully to give up work because you might not get the same salary after years of career break..

There will be a point when I can no longer work for whatever reason, if I stlll have to pay rent, I have to rely on government help still available to support me. I don't want to be the one who have to choose food on the table or warmth.

It's all about security, who knows if our government still well off enough to support everyone, the retirement age might increase again, we all know age discrimination in the job market does exist. Do you want to do physical labour work when you are 60s 70s?

I’m kinda happy our first was accidental because we didn’t have to think it through, we just managed. We were fortunate - bought with a small mortgage in London and DH had a good job. I was mid/late 20s so I’m a “younger” parent. I gave up work because child care was so expensive and we had a second soon after to complete our family - I’d have needed a salary over £50k to come close to breaking even with two kids in nursery. It’s a big sacrifice even if you are on a decent salary. Plus we are now penalised for having kids if we need a mortgage, despite them not actually costing that much now. A lot of the cost is optional stuff.

OP I think you're being sensible to wait until you're financially secure.

I don't understand people who decide to have kids when they can't afford to house/feed/clothe them. Surely it's better to get a secure job first and build up some savings?