The obsession with home ownership in uk I find weird. It's not essential to life at all, in many other countries it's absolutely not the norm inc ones where most could definitely afford to buy.
You ARE judging as pps have pointed out. MANY people will never be in a position to buy especially while corrupt politicians work to keep housing prices high.
Having children is not and should not be the preserve of the rich. Yes it's probably best not to have children and be careful with contraception if you're REALLY struggling... But life happens, contraception fails and I don't think the poor should be having abortions just because they're poor.
Personally I'm wondering if you're married? That can have a greater impact on mother & child than if their home is owned or rented.
There's never a perfect time to have children plus there's the biological clock factor - and that's not just for women. It's narrower for women but mens fertility declines too.
I had a strong feeling even before my first pregnancy that I'd have difficulties - based on gynae symptoms that were dismissed by Drs for many years, not Dx until after 2nd mc & then purely by chance. So I had it in my head I wanted first before 30. As it turns out it was one & only before 30 as my body doesn't do pregnancy and certainly not childbirth well (both almost died).
I've known people in real life delay ttc until all the circumstances were "right" and then ended up having to have Ivf (which can cost a fortune) or simply being unable to have DC because this has meant they left it too late biologically
Among my friends and family is a fairly even mix of young & older mums, planned, unplanned & assisted pregnancies. There's so many variations.
Even doing everything "right" is no guarantee of things working out. I was with my ex a few years before marrying, then married, dd came along 5 years in. We didn't own but as he was army that's not unusual as most are happy renting quarters while "in" and save money to buy in their preferred location when the serving person retires - there's often a lump sum paid around this time too. We were certainly comfortably off financially. No way I could have predicted his cheating, our divorce, his behaviour immediately after us splitting, my becoming disabled & Mentally ill, dd having a disability that wasn't Dx until she was almost high school age...
"Life is what happens when you're making other plans" or "if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans" (if you're a believer) is so true.
And you can NEVER "afford children" they always cost more than you think they will. Babies are actually quite cheap - teenagers are a bloody money pit!! If you sat & worked out how much they'd actually cost you'd never do it.
"And it’s unreasonable to say that the government should subsidise the care of 0-3 year olds more than it already does" many would disagree inc me. A well functioning economy/society needs to replace the people dying off. Yet uk govts (of all colours) seem ignorant to the fact that this means a well functioning economy/society needs to be supportive of families.
EITHER people need to earn enough to cover childcare costs or the other parent not working while the children are young enough to need supervision OR govt needs to provide cheaper childcare (without that meaning poorly paid childcare workers). Currently neither happens! Instead families are being pushed to the limits of their physical & mental health working stupid hours for shit pay just to cover basic living costs. The govt is subsidising rich employers paying artificially low wages by paying out in tax credits and childcare tax credits.
"why should a married couple who have no intention of having children be forced to contribute financially to the care costs of those who do?" Because they too benefit from those children being well cared for, educated & then as adults contributing to the society they live in.
Those on low incomes are generally MORE likely to think & plan before having DC are the effects of additional costs are more stark for them.
"We’re positively retrograde for not having it in the UK yet." Absolutely - excellent post all round.