I just don't want his parents knowing yet

[Valeo]

I know I am probably being unreasonable but I just don't want to tell my husbands parents that I am pregnant yet. His parents annoy me at the best of times, I've never particularly seen eye to eye with his mum as she has caused so many arguments between DH and I over the years, luckily DH has now seen what she is like and we no longer argue and we tend to spend most of our time with my side of the family as a result. They are very self centred and I don't agree with their lifestyle. I am enjoying my pregnancy so much and am really enjoying the fact that only us and my parents know. I am 8 weeks so would like to hold off until our first scan to tell his parents but he is insisting that we tell them this week as we wont see them again until end of January (they live 2.5 hours away). I don't know what it is that is making me so annoyed about telling them, maybe I am still a bit bitter and so I am enjoy having this lovely secret from them I just don't know.

[BumbleBeee69]

I feel sorry for your DH and your In-Laws

[LucilleBluth]

Anyone else cringe at the Beyoncé story....are you 5 op?

[DontCallMeCharlotte]

but I could keep the details of my morning sickness, heartburn etc private if I wanted to

That sounds great for everyone!

[Nicknacky]

Luicille Yeah what a bitch she was, saying she would like to go see her!

[DancingInTheCellar]

Yes OP posted a week ago saying she is 3 months pregnant. She also said her in-laws live in a dirty house and are disabled, and that her parents are wealthy, live in a big house and already have a nursery set up for the new arrival. Sounds like OP would rather her husband went NC with his family and they could live happily ever after with her rich parents and never have to worry about poor or disabled people. You know what? Love doesn't cost anything. My in-laws are well off whereas my mother and her husband are poor, disabled and live in a dirty house (yes we have offered), but our DC (adults now) love my mum to bits (she's funny, a bit irreverent, up on current events and takes a real interest in their lives etc) whereas they are merely fond of their other GPs (whose conversation composes of golf, golf, golf, rich friends, rich friends, golf). I cringe inside whenever we visit my DM - the house smells, is very cluttered and dirty, but my DH wouldn't dream in a million years of criticising them, belittling them, trying to orchestrate cutting them out of our lives. He has too much class to pull a stunt like that.

[CheeseTheDay]

You sound positively gleeful, OP, that your DH is now apparently closer to your parents than his own.

You say you have never wanted to drive a wedge, but that's exactly what you've done, and it's what you seemingly plan to continue to do.

Bravo.

[BumbleBeee69]

if these roles were reversed we'd be calling OP Controlling Manipulating and Coercive.

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

I don't understand what was even wrong about the Beyoncé comment tbh.

The OP comes across as a bit of snob and that she looks down her nose at her PILs, controlling too where her DH and his parents are concerned.

[Cranky17]

You do sound abit smug as gleeful, be careful they are still your dh’s parents and your moaning about them which such joy might back fire on you one day.

I’d also be interested to know why you posted twice was it because people were sympathic to their disability so you left if our this time to suit your agenda

[Prestonsflowers]

As you’ve told your parents then I think that your DH should be allowed to tell his, it seems a bit unfair.
If you have a DS, when he grows up I hope for your sake that he doesn’t marry someone as judgemental as you

[otheractivities]

These people are your future childs grand parents You are incredibly self centred , and selfish , your poor child ( cue a response from OP saying how awful her parents in law are )
I find it very sad how many in law bashing threads there are on mumsnet, ,
On the bright side , most of the in law bashers will end up as in laws themselfs one day

[MissDai5y]

We were in a similar position in regards to seeing relatives, my mum and brother live very near by, dh's parents live nearly 4 hrs away. His dad is... difficult, but not nearly as bad as your ILs.

I told my family straight away as if anything went wrong (It did the first time) they'd obviously know about it as we see them often. 1st time we were putting off telling his parents then cracked and told them just after 8 weeks and I miscarried at 9 weeks.

That was obviously horrible for us and I didn't like having to tell them so 2nd time we waited till the 12 week scan before we said anything.

Tbh they surprised us and since having dd they have been so much better in regards to their relationship with dh and me. If I'd know how easy it could be I might have got pregnant earlier.

Yes it's his baby and ideally you'd be able to tell them at the same time as telling your parents but if your not seeing them regularly I see no problem with waiting until after the 12 weeks scan. I don't see the problem with telephoning them to let them know so you wouldn't have to wait until you see them next. Might be better to do it that way.

Congratulations!

[InSightMars]

You knowm I was almost with you what with the drinking, filthy house and cosmetic dentistry (on finance no less - those profligate bastards)until you tried to drag Beyoncé into it. No. Leave Bey alone!

[Kescilly]

We told my parents at four weeks and my in-laws at twelve weeks. It was something we decided on together. If my husband had wanted to tell his parents earlier I would have disagreed, but it would have been his decision to make.

If the in-laws aren't abusive, threatening, etc., I think your spouse should have the final say.

[dippledorus]

You say in your other thread that you don't want the baby going to their house.

They're both disabled, yet you complain that the house is dirty.

You also say "we" are pregnant. No, unless that's the Royal we, YOU are pregnant. Your DH isn't.

Your parents have a nursery, which apparently according to you is a big plus but they already have grandchildren.

You seem to equate wealth with love.

How pregnant exactly are you? 8 weeks or 3 months?

[Cranky17]

They're both disabled, yet you complain that the house is dirty.

What are you doing op other than trying to delete them from your life to support them?

[MutedUser]

Hmm OP you sound gleeful that you are cutting your partner off from his family . You seem to tell him how he feels and what he should think of his parents. I only imagine the baby will be used to further restrict your DH from his parents . If this was a man posting this about a woman.

[BackforGood]

YABVU
Whatever the whole truth of the story.

I am totally on board with telling no-one until after 12 weeks, but you can't tell your own parents and then "not allow" your dh to tell his parents.

[UserMe18]

Imagine your baby is a boy, imagine your baby is married to a woman who doesn't want to tell you she's pregnant with your grandchild, but has told her own parents. It's his baby and his news too.

[3timeslucky]

If you said you didn't want anyone knowing before 12 weeks (for the usual reasons) I'd hope your dh would come on board with that. But to just want to keep the enjoyment of your pregnancy from your ILs sounds a bit mad. It sounds like your dh has more than met you half way regarding your views of his parents. So yes, YABU.

[RomanyRoots]

YABU he should tell his parents, they should have been told at the same time as your parents.

[Troels]

This gets up my nose as the mother of two adult sons.
I am enjoying my pregnancy so much and am really enjoying the fact that only us and my parents know.
It makes it sound like you want to cut them out, absorb your Dh into your own side of the family and hopefully not have to see them again.
Even when my MIL was driving me mad and Dh eventually went NC with her after warning me she was mad as a box of frogs, I used to be social and plesant with her, went our to lunch, had some good times. I had to remind myself, she must have done something right, she raised the man I loved, and he's pretty great.

[Mossend]

The baby is his too, you can't tell him who he can and can't tell

[gamerchick]

if these roles were reversed we'd be calling OP Controlling Manipulating and Coercive

Yes.

OP it's his news as well, you do sound as if you would prefer he cut them off. I know what a man would get if he posted what you have.

[WhenISnappedAndFarted]

I really don't understand the issue about the comment the MIL made about Beyonce, that's ridiculous.

I didn't see your other thread however others have said that you've already posted about your PIL being disabled, which could explain the dirty house. My DM is disabled, her partner works full time and they do struggle to keep on top of it but nobody judges them. Have you thought about getting help for them or asked them if they'd like some help?

I agree with others when they say that it sounds like you just want you, your DH and parents to be one happy family. They are his parents, you've told yours and he's got every right to tell his.

YABU