I just don't want his parents knowing yet

[Valeo]

I know I am probably being unreasonable but I just don't want to tell my husbands parents that I am pregnant yet. His parents annoy me at the best of times, I've never particularly seen eye to eye with his mum as she has caused so many arguments between DH and I over the years, luckily DH has now seen what she is like and we no longer argue and we tend to spend most of our time with my side of the family as a result. They are very self centred and I don't agree with their lifestyle. I am enjoying my pregnancy so much and am really enjoying the fact that only us and my parents know. I am 8 weeks so would like to hold off until our first scan to tell his parents but he is insisting that we tell them this week as we wont see them again until end of January (they live 2.5 hours away). I don't know what it is that is making me so annoyed about telling them, maybe I am still a bit bitter and so I am enjoy having this lovely secret from them I just don't know.

[elliejjtiny]

DH and I had an agreement when I was pregnant. Our baby, my body. So he could share anything he wanted about the baby but I could keep the details of my morning sickness, heartburn etc private if I wanted to. Also we each decided when our families should be told. It worked out well.

[dippledorus]

His baby too - you hsould have told his at the same time as yours. You sound mean.

[ThePinkOcelot]

Very unreasonable! You’ve told your parents so he can tell his. How come it’s ok for you but not for him?!

I can just see another few months, I don’t want his parents to visit until baby at least 6 months but it’s fine for mine be there as soon as baby pops out!

[Thesnobbymiddleclassone]

elliejjtiny that is a great solution!

[Hissy]

I've had 3 MC.

ALL of them were post 8 weeks - don't tell them until after the 1wk scan.

You are about to enter a world where your body stops being yours and dignity leaves through the front door - he needs to listen to you

have a compromise, that HE can tell his parents first, as soon as the 12wk scan is done

[CardsforKittens]

I'm probably extremely old-fashioned, but I think when you're pregnant you should get to decide everything about the pregnancy: what you eat, what you drink, what you wear, who you tell, where you give birth - everything. And your partner's job is to say, "Yes of course darling, whatever you want."

And if we ever see a day when a man can grow a human with his body, then I will argue that he gets a say in pregnancy.

[Whitescarf]

How come it's okay to tell your parents but not his?

[AngeloMysterioso]

YABU, you sound a bit mean and like you just enjoy keeping them out of the loop rather than having a specific reason for not telling them.

[PurpleDaisies]

cards I agree with almost all of that, but he should have the right to tell his parents he is going to be a father since the op’s parents know.

[Bazoo23]

We had this exact situation. I gave in and we told his mum when I was 8 weeks. She went home and put it in Facebook that night. Bitch.
It ruined whatever relationship we did have and she has met her almost 18 month old grandson twice. Which isnt surprising as she's seen my 6 year old a handful of times in her life. I'd personally keep quiet if I had the chance again.

[PinkAvocado]

I agree with those saying it is your body so therefore your choice. I think waiting until the scan is fine.

[InSightMars]

Knowledge is power, right? And you're enjoying keeping this secret from them because they annoy you and you don't approve of their lifestyle? Well in that case, if your endgame is to engineer a further wedge between them and their son and, by extension, their prospective grandchild so you can bring about a total NC situation in future you're totally on the right track.

Nope, they're not the ones coming across as self-centered here. YABU.

[Sirzy]

If may be her body but it’s srill his child.


He is allowed to be excited. He is allowed to want to share his news with his parents. Some shocking double standards to say otherwise. Either tell nobody or tell fairly otherwise your setting up a “my family are more important” approach before the child has even been born

[Pachyderm1]

I don’t think you can have one rule for your parents and another rule for his, so I think it’s fair that your DH gets to tell his parents.

[CardsforKittens]

Daisies, that's true, but he's not a father just yet. At this point the task of growing the baby is entirely the mother's responsibility, and the father's needs should come second (or third, after the baby's needs).

[DailyMailFail101]

Sorry I agree with the majority, it’s his baby too and very unfair you have told your parents but not letting him tell his. You sound like you think this baby is more yours than his. This baby may bring you closer to your in-laws.

[kalefire]

I'm so worried about who my son might end up marrying

[BarbarianMum]

YANBU! I told my mum I was pregnant as soon as I knew - she and dh were ny designated support in case of miscarriage (and to listen to me worry about every twinge, and moan about how tired/sick I was).

Until I was 12 weeks no one else was told - we did make inlaws/my dad first on the list at this point. MiL may even have guessed (I was throwing up a lot and had totally gone off tea and coffee) but she didnt ask and didnt spread her suspicions.

OP - if you tell inlaws do you think they'll keep the news to themselves?

[Sirzy]

ut he's not a father just yet

One of the saddest comments I have read. Of course he is a father. It’s his child too.

[PurpleDaisies]

Daisies, that's true, but he's not a father just yet.

Isn’t he? He hasn’t fathered the op’s child?

He has no right to make the op do anything differently to her body, even keep the baby if she didn’t want to, but he should have the right to talk about it to his own parents when the op has told hers.

[loubluee]

As soon as we found out we went to my in-laws and told them. MIL then asked could she tell his siblings. We agreed. It was my second baby but dp’s first and the first grandchild. It was so nice to see them so happy and excited after a bad few years healthwise.
I agree it’s your body. But it is his baby too. I think you are being selfish telling your parents but not allowing his to tell his.
How would you feel if you had a son, and he done this to you? Because if my boys done it I would be devastated, and I think to a point it would sour the experience, to know I wasn’t good enough to be able to share their news. But each to their own.

[Starlight456]

Yabu.

Your post doesn’t read like someone who is concerned you may mc. It reads as someone who wants to have power over Mil. Remember if this baby is a boy you may one day be the mil.
As your parents ky them yes I think as dh wants to tell mil. Men can feel very disconnected from baby in pregnancy so let him enjoy it.

[paem]

Are they swingers? Did they vote Brexit? Drug addicts? Come on OP.

[CardsforKittens]

Pregnancy is not an equal oppprtunities situation. A man ejaculates, whereas a woman has nine months of significant physical change followed by the so-called miracle of childbirth. Some women sail through it; others are miserable. Either way it's a big deal. So no, I don't think this is a time for being required to be fair.

[Poodles1980]

You sound really spiteful.