I just don't want his parents knowing yet

[Valeo]

I know I am probably being unreasonable but I just don't want to tell my husbands parents that I am pregnant yet. His parents annoy me at the best of times, I've never particularly seen eye to eye with his mum as she has caused so many arguments between DH and I over the years, luckily DH has now seen what she is like and we no longer argue and we tend to spend most of our time with my side of the family as a result. They are very self centred and I don't agree with their lifestyle. I am enjoying my pregnancy so much and am really enjoying the fact that only us and my parents know. I am 8 weeks so would like to hold off until our first scan to tell his parents but he is insisting that we tell them this week as we wont see them again until end of January (they live 2.5 hours away). I don't know what it is that is making me so annoyed about telling them, maybe I am still a bit bitter and so I am enjoy having this lovely secret from them I just don't know.

[ladymariner]

Op, YABVU!

[Fairylightfurore]

In these situations I would always go with tell the people who you would tell if anything happened to the baby and only those people. Congratulations op I am sure they'll be delighted whenever you choose to break the news.

[puddlesplashing]

So how far along are you? 3 months or 8 weeks 🤨

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

It's not because the risk of miscarriage lessens after 12 weeks why the OP is withholding the news Chicken, I suggest you read her other thread which explains further the dislike of her inlaws.

On that thread she's 3 months pregnant anyway.

[TheChickenOfTruth]

All of these posters panicking about their sons marrying someone who "makes them treat their mum like this".

She wants to wait until after the 12 week scan. It's not the end of the world. It's a couple of weeks and a perfectly normal time frame for this news. You're all acting like she's said they can't see the kid or something - it's not something they need to know right now, just something which might be nice at most. If the worst your future DIL does is ask their husband to wait until after the miscarriage risk has largely passed, I think you're doing OK.

[HidingFromMyKids]

What kind of purchases have you made at 8 weeks?

It doesn't sound like you have considered miscarriage as the reason for waiting 12 weeks to tell.

Fwiw I had a miscarriage after a healthy scan and trust me the last thing you want to see is baby purchases.

I was with you until your second post. You sound very immature so yes YABU.

[PurpleTigerLove]

You’re being unreasonable, if your parents know ,then your husband has a right to tell his parents . What makes you think that your family are so much nicer than his? Maybe you’re the one thats not so nice .

[CherryPavlova]

You sound controlling, coercive, unkind and very egocentric. You’ll undoubtedly expect him to be an equal parent so has as much right to share his news as you. He doesn’t have to tell them you’re pregnant - he can just tell them he’s going to be a father.

[AllTheUserNamesAreTaken]

Those saying wait until after the 12 week scan, what if the op were to mc before the scan or the scan showed up concerns, would her husband (you know, the father of the baby) not have the right to some support from his own parents at such a difficult time.

When I had a mc, my DH was great at supporting me and comforting me and then he went to see his own Mum and cried like a baby on her shoulder. He was devastated too and needed some support.

Of course the op’s DH doesn’t need to share her personal medical details but I don’t really think ‘she’s pregnant and the baby is due on X’ is really giving much away. I like what a PP said about ‘their baby, her body.’

It sounds from the op’s post that she just doesn’t like the in laws and is enjoying having this over them. You don’t sound very nice in that respect op.

[Yidette86]

Ah ha so apparently you've been on here before slating your inlaws... You don't sound very nice to be fair

Maybe your the issue? It's your partners parents and whether you like them or not is irrelevant, you're practically trying to control your partners relationship with them which isn't fair. It's not all about your parents and your family, stop being so selfish.

[Yidette86]

Some quite selfish entitled responses here.

Sorry op but I think you're just being bitter towards his parents... Your parents know so why can't his? You're bringing a child into this world, imagine they had a baby and their partner was acting like you and enjoying having a secret over them.

Your dh should have a say in this too.

[anniehm]

I left it to dh to inform his family, consequently it was 2 months later than my parents when he told them (he waited until after the 18 week scan and only did it then because we were visiting them and I had the photo in my bag!)

[FascinatingCarrot]

It doesn’t matter how nice some mothers of sons are if we get a dil like the op we are
Fucked and are sons will be out of our lives before we can blink

Got me one of these, and as a family we have absolutely no clue what we have done to make her hate us. Genuinely no clue. Ive asked. No reply. My son has just gone full nc with all of us. My 2 other dils have no clue either.

[Iwantamarshmallow]

Yanbu. It's your body your decision. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant. I was massive so i couldn't keep it from people who saw me but i stayed off social media and told people when I'd had the baby. My pil knew but were annoyed i wouldn't let them tell anyone. im happy i did it that way.

[Alfie190]

Very very unreasonable to tell your parents and not his. This baby is not going to be just yours.

[PixieCutRegret]

If you have a DS, when he grows up I hope for your sake that he doesn’t marry someone as judgemental as you

This, or maybe you deserve a taste of your own medicine

[Flowerpot2005]

You're being unfair ...but I understand.

For years I battled with my MIL & years later, I realised it was bloody pointless. I realised she just wanted to feel a part of us. She, just like me, feared not being accepted & included on a similar level to mine.

Hand on heart, when its years too late to change things, I realise that it was simple jealousy, refusal to accept the other & insecurity that were the roots of the problem. Take a step back & try to see your baby as a new beginning for you both.

My mum was vile with MIL when DD was born, I often think of the scenario & wish I'd reigned DM in. It was all so unnecessary & a waste of years that could have been happier.

[SantaClauseMightWork]

I think YABU. I haven’t read your other thread but if what other posters are saying is true, you have a lot to answer for.

[Purplehairdontcare]

Going to go against the grain here.

Yanbu.

It's your body and your personal medical information.

Yes it is his baby but at present op is in the very early stages of pregnancy and has every right to withhold that information from whoever she pleases.

[Platypusfattypus]

You may regret your decision to be so distant with them when you need a babysitter in the future OP.

Given she said her mil was carrying her dog by the scruff of its neck whilst wasted I don’t think she will.

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

I don't think the OP hasn't told her inlaws because of the 12 week rule. She just likes having the power to withhold the information from them.

[Aquilla]

It's perfectly normal not to tell anyone before you're 12 week scan and there's obviously a very good reason for this. I think telling your own mum is different though!