Presents for MIL - AIBU or is she a CF?

[CouldIBeAnymoreHungry]

MIL shops at Aldi & is proud to admit that she uses all their beauty products. Handwash, handcream, moisturisers etc. However when she gives us her present list suddenly her taste becomes a little more expensive. Branded products that cost alot more, hair products that you can only get in salon. She is semi retired & well off whereas we have one income & live month to month. I'm feeling resentful as I buy myself cheap products but then find myself spending far more on her because we feel we should buy what she's asked for. When I lost my job my parents told us to stop buying for them so we could save money whereas MIL continues to hand over her lists of gift ideas.

AIBU to ignore her list & buy Aldi stuff I know she likes or is she being a CF? Or do other people take the opportunity at Christmas (& Birthdays) to ask for stuff they wouldn't normally buy themselves?

Would you honesty buy her a bottle of Wilko shampoo and a jar of Aldi skin cream with change from three quid and think that suitable?

Why wouldn't it be if that's all a person can afford? What kind of person believes he/she is entitled to luxuries and 'being spoiled' because it's fucking Christmas? That's staggering. And you wouldn't have change from three quid for those two items. Who on Earth expects a bloody luxury present from a family where one of the earners lost her job this year?

And if you read the thread, she doesn't 'spoil' the OP, her son or the grandkids, nor do they expect it.

“What kind of person believes he/she is entitled to luxuries and 'being spoiled' because it's fucking Christmas?“

Most people TBH.

This particular MIL does sound a bit grabby, but generally speaking- nobody wants the kind of cheap shower gel that they buy 4 of every time they nip into Wilko for Xmas.

Either buy something very small from a nicer place, or don’t bother IMO.

I don't think there is anything wrong with a list. My family always ask what i want and i never know what to say so i compile a list at a range of price points, there is no pressure to buy an item from the list, but its there if you want an easy choice which i'm guaranteed to like.

This particular MIL does sound a bit grabby, but generally speaking- nobody wants the kind of cheap shower gel that they buy 4 of every time they nip into Wilko for Xmas.

Wow, sounds really ungrateful and entitled.

Wonder where the OP is.

Ask mil in a suprised tone that you thought toiletries from Aldi were her prefared choice.
I would like to know what her answer would be.
And I wouldn't buy expensive stuff if you can't afford it. Buy something a bit up market from Aldi

“Wow, sounds really ungrateful and entitled.“

Why? Boots advertising department have really done a number on you, haven’t they?

There’s nothing intrinsically special about shower gel that makes it any nicer to receive than a bottle of Head and Shoulders or a packet of panty liners.

Not even if it comes in a shiny cardboard box with a matching poof. It’s just fricking shower gel.

Stop buying it for each! No one wants it.

My mother demands money or theatre vouchers for every occasion, whether it be Xmas, birthday or even Mothers Day

In return, she gives me toilet rolls.

The past couple of years have been very difficult in all ways. DD2 has been unwell since June 2017, and I have my own health issues so I've been signed off work since June this year, so I'm only on SSP, and DD on ESA and PIP

My mother still demands and expects money this Xmas, she's getting a box of biscuits, which will cost about £4. She won't be happy and I'll get a hard time about it, but too bad.

OP, I would just buy your MIL something that's in your budget and ignore the list,

I think it's cheeky for adults to give a Christmas list confused Especially to a young family which children to buy for

So don’t you buy your parents Christmas presents if you have children yourself? How odd. There’s no intrinsic requirement for the Christmas list to have expensive things on it - that’s the issue here, not the fact of giving a list.

*Why? Boots advertising department have really done a number on you, haven’t they?

There’s nothing intrinsically special about shower gel that makes it any nicer to receive than a bottle of Head and Shoulders or a packet of panty liners.

Not even if it comes in a shiny cardboard box with a matching poof. It’s just fricking shower gel.

Stop buying it for each! No one wants it.*

Eh? We don't give gifts to anyone but the kids in our family, much less hand over lists of luxury items to relatives without their having asked for one and then a list full of expensive luxury products. Also haven't used shower gel in years, I make all our own soap (well, DS can now do it on his own, too).

I'm perfectly happy with any gift, Aldi Velvety Rose candle is lovely. I'm giving one to a friend tomorrow with some Aldi chocolates.

Ur MIL gives u a list of preferred gifts 😱
Oh wow..

zukie, why do you put up with such a toxic, unsupportive and mean-spirited excuse for a relative in your life?

How old is she and she still writes lists. Id just look at the liat roll your eyes and say "Ill make sure santa gets your list MIL amd lets see what he brings you on chrisymas day" then get her something that doesnt brwak the bank although i di agree about aldi been normal dya to dya shite. Maybe go for a tesco gift set instead. Cheap but different. Maybe next year before anyone does ahopping suggest that you wont be doing gifts this year and explain that your mother hanst ha done for a few years so you think uta fair and sensibke that you concentrate on you and your partner and any possible kids.

@thesoapyfrog exactly this. I always ask my mum for a shower gel. Something I wouldn't buy myself - I don't specify brand she could spend £3 or £10 and I will be happy. When I worked I would treat myself to £10 bottles....not it's more normally Aldi! - I don't want it for a present though.

Why does everyone say don't buy grown ups presents? I enjoy buying and receiving. If budgets are tight then scale down the gifts....(Some grown ups have no-one else to buy for them - so should they not get given anything?

Get you DH to tell her you aren't doing presents this year as money is tight.