Not picking people up for xmas?

[StephenQueenBooks]

I have been asked to pick up my brother, sil and their two kids (3 and 2) on Xmas day as they can't drive/get public transport. I don't drink so fine with this as my mum wants a tipple (I live with her just out of uni).

When I spoke to my brother about it last night I said we should all fit in even with the carseats and he said he didn't have any.

I told him I'm not having two toddlers in my car not in carseats because it's not safe and I don't want the fine. I said you either get car seats or you'll have to come a different day when you can get the bus. My mum is backing me up however him and my sil are annoyed saying it's their children and they don't mind them sitting on their knees.

Aibu to say no carseats, no lift? I've only just started driving last month and lifts are the bane of my life!

No, a booster is not ok.

Sorry only I didn't even see that comment. If I got there and they had no seats I'd just drive away without them, as bad as that sounds.

Anyone who behaves like this

however him and my sil are annoyed saying it's their children and they don't mind them sitting on their knees.

Is being a tw@t.

Of course you are right.

You don't sound like you actually want to spend Christmas with them and their children through.

I feel for the children in this situation. Very sad.

Haven't read all replies so someone may have mentioned this already ... an A&E nurse once told me to NEVER put a child on your knee - they are safer seat belted into a seat of their own.

• if no child seat available, obviously. I think your DB and his wife need to start taking some responsibility.

Yanbu

If they already have SW involvement, this is the type of thing they can possibly help with.

Other than that, Gumtree/Facebook selling pages will get them seats for under £20 though the official safety advice is never buy a used car seat.

They need to take responsibility for themselves and their children.

What sort of car do you drive op? If it's a small hatch then you might find that 2 adult passengers plus 2 car seats won't actually fit. Just worth mentioning as you might find yourself doing 2 runs if they get sests

Why have you even bothered to post here OP?

You're obviously quite clear about your decisions. You just seem extremely keen to list their many failings.

It's illegal for you - as the driver - to have children in your car that aren't properly strapped in, in their seats. It's you that would pick up the points and fine (not their parents). It's also unsafe. You are being completely reasonable here.

Of course YANBU. Stick to your guns. If they can’t sort out the car seats,?if you and your mother REALLY want to spend Xmas day with them would a compromise be cooking at their house? I only say this as my MIL suffered from a mobility illness. One year, towards the end of her life, she was having a particularly bad day on Xmas. So I cooked, packed up the food and we drove an hour to have Xmas at their house. She and FIL was so grateful we did that.

Low income, but can afford drugs. Perhaps they could buy child seats by missing out of drugs for a week?

I can’t believe people are saying you don’t want to help them! They’re free and they take about 30 seconds to post... OP if they’re not willing to even try and find a car seat themselves they probably just don’t want to come that much.

God, still just so surprised people think you should be doing the Facebook posting... I’m always helping my whole family out and would consider myself a generous person but I’d find it bizarre if someone asked me to do that for them - it’s free to post on Facebook!

I posted as I don't have kids so not always sure how to approach issues involving children like this one. I know car seats are the law, however I don't know anything about car seat Vs booster seat etc. I'm 21 and don't have children, I feel this is a good place to come for advice in these situations.

We could not cook at their place. No chance.

www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules/when-a-child-can-travel-without-a-car-seat. it's really straightforward: they can't have the 2 year old in the car at all without a car seat. Not doable. Full stop.

Yanbu. Is it far? Can they walk?

Just tell them they have a choice - walk, obtain car seats or spend Christmas on their own. Simple.

I was also going to say there are often police out our way Christmas morning waiting for the drivers over the drink limit. I personally wouldn't risk it. Imagine if you had an accident. Never worth it.

No car seat, no car ride. You crash, they potentially die. Simple and clear.

They can work out how to get where they want to go or not go.

I feel for the kids but a dangerous journey is not in their interests.

I’d just tell them that you’re happy to give them a lift so long as they sort out suitable car seats (both need to be harnessed at this age, not in boosters). And then leave them to it. If they quit weed and fags for a week or two they could afford to buy seats. They’re obviously not that arsed. Don’t be made to feel like the bad guy here, and don’t go trying to sort something for them, you’re just enabling their fecklessness.

YANBU!
I’m shocked they are happy playing roulette with their children’s lives

I’m shocked they are happy playing roulette with their children’s lives

Unemployed drug addicts turn out not to be the best parents? It's frankly amazing.

Lots of good suggestions here. Yanbu for insisting on car seats.

If they cannot afford new car seats, then it's often possible to get second hand seats cheap or free. If they post of Facebook and Freecycle they might get lucky. Also scour gumtree and eBay.

Alternatively, as a family you could perhaps pay for a taxi with car seats.

I would ask around locally and via Facebook etc to see if I could borrow car seats. I get what everyone is saying about the parents not prioritising their children's safety but I'd be thinking about giving the children a nice Christmas Day and a good meal. OP is absolutely right not to drive without car seats.