Not picking people up for xmas?

[StephenQueenBooks]

I have been asked to pick up my brother, sil and their two kids (3 and 2) on Xmas day as they can't drive/get public transport. I don't drink so fine with this as my mum wants a tipple (I live with her just out of uni).

When I spoke to my brother about it last night I said we should all fit in even with the carseats and he said he didn't have any.

I told him I'm not having two toddlers in my car not in carseats because it's not safe and I don't want the fine. I said you either get car seats or you'll have to come a different day when you can get the bus. My mum is backing me up however him and my sil are annoyed saying it's their children and they don't mind them sitting on their knees.

Aibu to say no carseats, no lift? I've only just started driving last month and lifts are the bane of my life!

It's obvious what the answer is. But I'll advise you this. Give them a lift and lose your license to drive for the rest of your life. Pointless buying a car. Break the law lose the car and use the bus all your life. What sounds better keep the car or give the lift??? Some ppl just don't use their head!!!!

No, TheFairyAstronaut, it sounds like OP wants to obey the law and not put her nieces and/or nephews into a dangerous situation.

It’s just a convenient cover for the hate Deepan*. If it wasn’t that it would be something else. The car seat thing is perfectly reasonable; it;s the unwarranted character assasination that unfurls itself late that reveals the true feelings at play.

HTH.

It’s just a convenient cover for the hate Deepan. If it wasn’t that it would be something else. The car seat thing is perfectly reasonable; it;s the unwarranted character assasination that unfurls itself later that reveals the true feelings at play.

HTH.

How can it be a convenient cover? It's the law, plain and simple. OP wouldn't be able to do this even if he was in every other respect a living saint.

TheFairyCaravan
Op didn’t include the weed in her first post or subsequent couple. Not until it was really necessary to give a fuller picture. I don’t see a character assassination. I see a woman, who wants to obey the law and a manipulative brother and sil, who care very little for their children’s wellbeing.

They don't know how to cook it themselves? Same as cooking anything else. They sound pathetic to be fair, it's a shame for the kids.

I don't see how facts are a character assassination

Are you the SIL TheFairyAstronaut?
The OP is being eminently sensible, and your posts are ridiculous.

OP, ignore everyone telling you you're in the wrong. They're idiots, this isn't your responsibility or your mum's, and you've responded perfectly with your text messages. Isn't this sort of thing exactly what child benefit is supposed to cover? I.e. the essentials for the BENEFIT of the CHILD...? So not weed then 🙄

If they can afford fags then they can afford a taxi. They clearly prioritise fags and weed. They sound pretty scummy TBH, I feel sorry for their kids.

It's illegal, don't risk prison or a fine/criminal record for them.

Get them to come over the day before and camp in the living room if they have to.

Or - Take all the food to theirs and drive you and mother to theirs.

If they can borrow car seats then do this - ask incase thye haven't thought of that but DO NOT get a criminal record for this (not to mention potentially injuring their children).

Don't do it ...

The pressure to break the law will seem irrelevant when you have dead kids in the back of your car.

Take your mum, their presents and Christmas lunch round in Tupperware boxes, watch the kids open their presents, give everyone a big hug- then you and mum come home and relax.

I’m from a family of six dc, it’s a dynamic that’s all that I know but it can be quite crowd control sometimes.

I’m not sure what your other brothers do or what their lives are like but I’m the only one that went to University. My life is very different to my siblings who are all on low incomes, apart from one they have all led productive lives. The very youngest sibling has dreadful behaviour, she is late forties now and her dc are adults. We have all cut her out over the years, I was one of the last two who would still speak to her.

Her dc never had a chance in life because of her and her ex husbands behaviour. I moved away when her dc were still small. Definite criminal behaviour. She dated more than one man who had been to prison.

Watching the drama unfold and feeling powerless because they won’t listen is frustrating. She leeched off many family members for years. She was sacked multiple times for stealing from jobs.

I’m warning you of the continued drain emotionally of dealing with your sibling and the sheer frustration. I wish I had cut her out years ago, it’s one of the worst and best decisions I ever had to make. I see why you are there because of the dc but you may need to walk away at some point in your life.

YANBU. It’s illegal and you, as the driver, that would be in trouble. How irresponsible of them!! They’ll have to get a taxi (with car seats) or borrow from friends.

How do they not have carseats?!

lovelyissues - they dont have car seats.....because they dont have a car, probably dont take their kids out much because they are too busy smoking weed, and if they do use someone's car they just put them in and dont care if they have an accident. its all about priorities and their's is clearly not their children's... poor things.

The issue isn't whether or not you are happy to go and collect your relatives but that it is illegal to transport children without carseats.

Could you borrow from neighbours etc?

"Take your mum, their presents and Christmas lunch round in Tupperware boxes, watch the kids open their presents, give everyone a big hug- then you and mum come home and relax."
Oh, come on! Think about this. The OP is just 21, her brother and SIL are nearing 40. Even apart from the fact that her brother has told OP that they will be going to SIL's parents for Christmas lunch, why on earth do you thin the OP and her mum should do all the work for this lazy-arsed couple? If they did, that would be called facilitating. Enabling. TO BE AVOIDED.

How do they not have carseats?!

Because they haven’t got a car. Really not that big a stretch of the imagination that they wouldn’t have car seats.

To those people shouting that the OP should not be enabling the parents by trying to fix this for them. It's for the children that it would be nice to resolve this. They are the most innocent and important part of all this IMO.

@CoughLaughFart we didn't have a car of our own until DD was about 3. Still had car seats though.

But presumably you were taking your children on car trips (lifts with others, cabs, rental cars) often enough to have made this a worthwhile purchase? It doesn’t sound like these parents do that.

I’m not defending them expecting the OP to break the law - I just think it’s odd that some posters are assuming they would own what’s essentially a luxury item if you don’t own a car.