Not picking people up for xmas?

[StephenQueenBooks]

I have been asked to pick up my brother, sil and their two kids (3 and 2) on Xmas day as they can't drive/get public transport. I don't drink so fine with this as my mum wants a tipple (I live with her just out of uni).

When I spoke to my brother about it last night I said we should all fit in even with the carseats and he said he didn't have any.

I told him I'm not having two toddlers in my car not in carseats because it's not safe and I don't want the fine. I said you either get car seats or you'll have to come a different day when you can get the bus. My mum is backing me up however him and my sil are annoyed saying it's their children and they don't mind them sitting on their knees.

Aibu to say no carseats, no lift? I've only just started driving last month and lifts are the bane of my life!

Only just seen 15 min walk - agree - they can walk. But you don't really want them there anyway do you?
You are right - you can't drive them without car seats but you can sort it since you are clearly more together than they are - if you want them there. Will there be other children at your mums?

Uptown? Fecking autocorrect uptight that should say

@daisypond wow

Can’t they borrow some car seats, most people have two sets don’t they? Or just pick up sone 2nd hand ones can’t be that difficult

@TigerTooth a 15 mins drive, not walk

Good on you for not being sucked into the drama. Painting himself as the the victim.

I've finished uni and trying to get into a career with the police which he knows!

If you feel he's being even more awkward than usual, I wonder if your career ambitions have anything to do with it? After all, it's unlikely a drug addict will have much to say for the police

And FWIW I thought your last message to him was great ...

But, turnitaroundagain, they expect the OP to do that. She said they could look on freecycle but they can't be bothered.

I wouldn't put myself out for them at all. Your Christmas will be much nicer without them.

I absolutely hate it when people say this to me! It's always people who don't have a driving license and they just don't understand. Why would they want to put their child in danger! Stick to your guns your well within ur right to say no!

Walking a 15 minute car journey could be impossible for several reasons. A 15 minute drive from my house to a housing area nearby would take you down a dual carriageway unsuitable for walking. Fields all around. I guess it depends where they live. It takes 5 -10 minutes to drive to my mum’s house from where I live but would take an hour to walk at least going through all the estates and avoiding the very busy roads.

I agree though that they need to find suitable seats from somewhere if they want a lift. Definitely Facebook. Even asking in a local group to borrow one might find that someone is happy to give you one. We even have a local charity who offers loan of things such as this.

A 15 minute drive could be upto 10 miles away, doing that twice in one day in the bad weather with 2 toddlers is a silly suggestion.

How have theey got anywhere without carseats for 3 years? Sounds like they need support in a lot of areas for the sake of the children.

Mrs C yes, wow, the parents don't want to walk the 40-odd minutes it would take to get themselves and the children there - the one thing that would easily solve the problem.

I never had car seats with my three DC. We didn't have a car, so they weren't necessary. We never travelled by car ever.

Walking a 15 minute car journey could be impossible for several reasons

You're right, it could - but if that was the case I imagine OP would have said so

Instead she said they simply didn't want to walk, and since she knows them and we don't that sounds good enough to me

I'm assuming from PP there on benefits then, getting around £150 a week in child tax & benefit but can't afford car seats for the kids but can afford WEED & FAGS? Sounds like great parents....

Borrow car seat from someone
Ask. Free cycle for car seats
Charity shop
Surely there must be someone in their street who us staying put for Xmas and can lend a car seat for a day ? ?

Why should you have to find the car seats.
They are the parents.
They are being offered a day of being fed for free.
Maybe they could cut down their luxury life style... Lol.. And save the taxi money...

It's a shame there isn't a way to rent one cheaply, especially when you need one until puberty.

WTF? My children were past 125cm at age 8.

*135

my 9 year old child is 5ft 4, hes not in a car seat not even a booster

Probably best not to get into an argument over what age car seats are needed up to. Our children are all different shapes and sizes. My 9 year old who wears 10-11
Clothes is still using a booster cushion as the seatbelt is more comfortable for her. Her much smaller friend doesn’t and refused to use our spare when getting a lift once as she said they hurt her hips. The 9 year old has also started puberty for what it’s worth too as that was mentioned!! Anyway, none of that is the point. The discussion is around a 2 and 3 year old.

Def illegal so you would get fined if spotted/stopped. But also & maybe more importantly your insurance might well be invalid if anything happened while you had them in the car, young children not in seats are much more likely to be injured & I'm not sure but suspect you would be liable for their safety if it's your car & you driving (not to mention liability for any damage to vehicles). Lots of others out drink driving over Xmas, so no matter how safe you think a 10 min drive is - suspect you would get blamed by all of anything was to happen. Good for you for sticking to your guns!

15 min on the bus ffs I would happily walk that it’s less than an hour, I would be so grateful to have my mother in walking distance we’re not seeing each other at Christmas yet again because we just can’t afford it.

Do they have friends with kids? Hopefully they can borrow the relevant seats from someone who won't be travelling anywhere on Xmas day and return them the next day. No way would I transport kids without car seats.

There's no excuse for no carseats and I do believe it is as much the parents responsibility as it is the driver - hence why I never let my own DD in a car without suitable seat (and have rejected a lift before and walked in the rain when there isn't one).

My DDs Nursery happily lend out carseats to any child registered with them as they would rather know a childs safe in a car than not - so if they go to Nursery there's one place they can ask there, and if not they might know of another parent who has an old one/spare.

YANBU and good on you for standing your ground. I'd also probably report them on CD for transporting the children without seats. See how happy the mother is to pay the fine. A quick google says it's a £100 fine per child, so if she can afford £200 and possibly points on her license then let her.