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AIBU?

To ask how long after childbirth...

159 replies

bella1426 · 09/12/2018 21:24

...it took to get 'back in the saddle' so to speak. 7 weeks PP and miss the closeness the physical side of our relationship brings but god knows when well have the energy, privacy or time to DTD again...not to mention the horrific thought of being seen naked like this...wondering what's the norm on this subject (if there is one!)

OP posts:

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gamerchick · 09/12/2018 21:38

About 30 minutes. Although the midwife was a bit annoyed as she was giving me a breastfeeding lesson at the time

There no norm OP. When you're ready.

Do some cuddling if you're missing the closeness.

I'm crossing my legs at some of these replies, but the people I know IRL who did it before the placenta had dried had sexually aggressive men.

AintNobodyHereButUsReindeer · 09/12/2018 21:39

3 weeks with our eldest, 5 weeks with our youngest. And no I wasn't pressured at all.

legalseagull · 09/12/2018 21:40

All these early shaggers!!! I bled for about 5/6 weeks so after that.

bellsbuss · 09/12/2018 21:43

Between 10 days and 3 weeks with my 4 but that's when I felt ready.

WonderTweek · 09/12/2018 21:45

6 weeks for us. I had a second degree tear that healed a bit funny and when they stitched me up I ended up being a lot, ahem, tighter than before so it was certainly interesting! However we both felt ready for it and I'm glad we got the first time "out of the way" as I was nervous if it was even going to work. It got easier after a while and now it's like back in the old days except that we don't do it as often as we used to because we're knackered, and I have a bit of a tummy. In all seriousness though, it took me awhile to get used to my new body but I wore loose shirts and tops etc until I felt less self conscious and it was all good. :)

WineAndTiramisu · 09/12/2018 21:46

About 3 months after caserean, I bled for 6 weeks, then had a coil put in and bled for 5 more weeks! However she's now 8 months and it's only happened once since... More his choice than mine, think the breastfeeding freaks him out a little, although he wouldn't admit it.

Verbena87 · 09/12/2018 21:47

First attempt about 8 weeks. First painless attempt about 5 months. Still numb and disappointing now (15 months). Birth injury and nerve damage suck, but from talking to friends I really don’t think my experience is common.

CookPassBabtridge · 09/12/2018 21:48

God it was months with my first, and it was a section! Maybe 5... Was just too tired and touched out.

Second section.. I think it was week 3. My hormone went nuts, it surprised me as I was in mother mode but at the same time wanted filth

elQuintoConyo · 09/12/2018 21:48

Um... 6 years. I was ripped to shit and had to have corrective surgery. Then there was the painful internal scar tissue. We neex to 'make love' these days rather than lovely long bonking sessions or quickies in the shower

It's a good job DH is who he is.

AlpineButterfly · 09/12/2018 21:49

Months - 3 months after my first and I fell pregnant
Nearer six months with my second. He's 11 months now and we're just getting back in the groove. It does still hurt occasionally.

It's just when you're ready

Emma145 · 09/12/2018 21:49

6 months, was healed a lot sooner but my son was in a next to me bed so didn't really get the chance till moved him into his own room

Verbena87 · 09/12/2018 21:50

In terms of feeling better about my body, I felt like I’d be weirdly-shaped forever but now I look pretty much as good as before except with nicer boobs (hooray for breastfeeding says I)

Lynne45 · 09/12/2018 21:50

About 3 months. I had stitches but I did feel ready after about 2 months, I was just too bloody tired!

peachgreen · 09/12/2018 21:51

Hardly any time at all but then once the post-birth hormones wore off I went off sex entirely and it was months. Even now my drive isn't what it used to be but I have a very understanding husband and we express physical affection daily in other ways.

AssassinatedBeauty · 09/12/2018 21:51

Months and months. I had lochia that lasted for ages, and would restart if I did too much physically. I had an infected c section scar, everything in that region felt like I'd been kicked by a horse and was heavy and uncomfortable for a long time. Baby had been in hospital very unwell and emotionally I couldn't have cared less about having sex, it was off my list of priorities. Then add in breastfeeding fairly constantly and a baby that would only sleep on me, and that further reduced my inclination and the chances of getting any time for it.

In the grand scheme of our relationship, it was not that long though.

Bigonesmallone3 · 09/12/2018 21:51

After my first it was 3 weeks but that was a bloody big mistake..
After my second was probably 6 weeks..

Verbena87 · 09/12/2018 21:52

@elQuintoConyo sorry you’re in the battlescarred bits club too. Thank god for really good partners.

Ceecee18 · 09/12/2018 21:53

Just under 6 weeks. I had a forceps delivery and saw a perineal specialist midwife at 4 weeks to check the stitches which had started to come undone at 2 weeks pp. She advised me that although not completely healed I should attempt sex as soon as possible to stretch the scar tissue. I was shocked to hear that! And there was no way I'd have attempted it then! At 6 weeks I felt fine (did use a lubricant though).

RayRayBidet · 09/12/2018 21:53

18 months with first. I was so tired and shell shocked and then got PND. It was the last thing on my mind.

Bringbackbertha · 09/12/2018 21:53

3 months didn't stop bleeding. Did it once then bleeding started again for another 2 months. Realised it was the pill.

Since then probably once a month if we are lucky... small person stops alot of adult nightly activities and replaced them with getting up to deal with them. Nothing like s crying child to break the mood

TickleMeEmo · 09/12/2018 21:56

We tried around 8 weeks but was too painful... tried a couple of times after that but was still too uncomfortable, didn’t have sex properly until about 7 months pp.
DS was a colicky baby and we were too knackered most of the time 😂
Still don’t have sex as often as we’d like as DS is still a crap sleeper and I’m currently 5 months pregnant but keep physically close in other ways if we can’t dtd 🙂

sdaisy26 · 09/12/2018 21:56

About a week first time...it was too soon really but I’d had a section and was a bit desperate to prove there were some upsides to it.

Probably about 2 weeks second time round (another section), I was a bit more poorly after it so took longer to get back to normal.

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user1468348545 · 09/12/2018 21:57

Emergency section and about 2 weeks if that.

I think everyone is different and as long as both parties ( mostly mum obviously!!) Are happy and comfortable then why not. And of course safe to do so after labour.

MonicaGellerHyphenBing · 09/12/2018 21:57

8 or 9 months. I bled for 9 weeks, DD had hideous colic and was a crap sleeper until she was nearly 1, it was unfortunately very low down on my list of priorities.

tryinganewname · 09/12/2018 21:58

3 weeks.. and I'd had a 2nd degree tear so was stitched.

We didn't do it a lot before DD, even less now! Farrrrrr too tired.

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