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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think separate accounts are odd?

448 replies

AntMoon · 09/12/2018 15:34

How many married/partnered mumsnetters have separate bank accounts to their other halves?

I'm assuming that the majority of people in long-term relationships have joint accounts. I've been with DH 9 years and we've had joint bank, savings & joint credit card account for years.

It it more 'modern' to keep everything separate these days?

OP posts:
Lazypuppy · 09/12/2018 16:55

We have seperate for our salaries and own money. Then a joint account we pay same amount into for bills. We have joint savings and seperate savings.

We will never fully combine money, neuther of us would want to have to ask permission to buy/do something. We both work hard and should be able to spend our money on what we want as long as bills etc are covered.

SocksRock · 09/12/2018 16:55

We just have one joint account. All the money goes in, we pay the bills, we spend money and when it's gone we stop. I run all the finances, and have lots of savings pots, all in my name as I'm the lower tax payer. So I guess I'm more protected than DH as he could access a months money at a time but I've got all the savings. Works for us.

jq28 · 09/12/2018 16:57

We have joint bills account and some joint savings but also have separate accounts too. It works for us.

Lollipop30 · 09/12/2018 16:58

@socksrock why does it make a difference if you’re the lower earner?

SocksRock · 09/12/2018 16:59

Because I only pay tax on the interest at basic rate. DH would pay it at higher rate so it's better for them to be in my name.

KM99 · 09/12/2018 17:01

Separate accounts that salary gets paid into. Joint account for bills, mortgage, food, all joint expenses. We also prioritise putting money in DS ISA. We put in % that reflects the % of our total income. I earn a lot more than DH so I put in 70% of joint expenses and he puts in 30%.

What we have left in our solo accounts is ours to do with what we like. I value my independence far too much to risk every penny I spend being reviewed ( not that I think DH would do that) but it's my money, I work hard for it just like he does for his.

A couple of times a year we do a big review of our personal savings, pensions, ISAs etc. Just in the event of a life changing thing happening we know the situation. We are both fairly careful with money, DH more than me most of the time.

Lilymoose · 09/12/2018 17:03

We have separate accounts. Married 2.5 years he is terrible with money and I earn more, so sensible for me to keep them separate.

Iknowthatguy · 09/12/2018 17:04

We have a mix

Lauren83 · 09/12/2018 17:06

Separate for us, live together with a baby and another on the way, haven't even thought to get a joint one

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 09/12/2018 17:07

We have separate accounts, and one joint in which we put money for 'common' house stuff- food, electricity, mortgage, etc. We both want to be able to spend our own money the way we want, and make sure we put enough in every month to cover for stuff.

HildaZelda · 09/12/2018 17:07

We have separate accounts and a joint account between us. Frankly I think ONLY having a joint account is 'odd', to use your phrasing OP, and don't even get me started on the phrase 'family money' Hmm

PickAChew · 09/12/2018 17:07

I had a joint account with my ex, alongside my own account.

Bloody pita to get him to cooperate with getting it closed when I left him.

UserMe18 · 09/12/2018 17:13

@HildaZelda I'm intrigued, what's wrong with the term family money?

Badbadbunny · 09/12/2018 17:15

Ever since we first started going on holidays together, we've had "joint money" alongside our own accounts etc. Works well for us. At first, we had a joint "wallet" on holidays, where we both put the same amount in, and used it to spend on things we did together, such as attraction entry fees, meals, etc - we still used our own purses/wallets for things we bought separately such as souvenirs etc where we were paying different amounts for what we were buying.

It worked well, so we used the same idea when we bought our house and got married, i.e. a joint bank account for the household, alongside our independent private accounts. Our wages etc went into our own private accounts and then we each set up standing orders to pay an agreed amount each into the joint account (different as we earned different amounts, so we made it proportional to our earnings). All household costs came out of the joint account, i.e. holidays, utilities, food, house repairs, etc. We used our own accounts for presents, personal hobbies, etc. We also had joint and individual savings/investment accounts.

After 20 years of marriage, we're still doing the same, we have bank accounts and savings/investments in our own names, and also in joint names. We've tweaked things over the years so that our separate savings/investments/pensions etc are roughly equal to maximise tax reliefs/exemptions, etc. We barely use our individual accounts at all, just for presents really, and nearly everything else goes through the joint accounts.

mrsrhodgilbert · 09/12/2018 17:17

If you keep your money separate how does it work in practice? One can afford lobster, the other fish fingers. One a week in Whitby, one three weeks in the Maldives. I just don’t see how one person can have much more spending power than the other without it causing unhappiness.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 09/12/2018 17:18

We have no joint account, never had one, been together 16 years married 11.

BatsAreCool · 09/12/2018 17:19

Mix of joint and individual accounts. I think it's important to have our own accounts.

3in4years · 09/12/2018 17:22

We have separate so we can have 2 ISAs and move money around depending on quick access/ high interest/ overdrafts etc. But we pay no attention to whose money it is.

Gri80 · 09/12/2018 17:23

Well when i met my DH we had both separate accounts, and we got so used to it that 12 years later we kept it that way...we have one joint one but we only save money there and dont use it not to spend the money to be honest...must be odd dont know :)

BatsAreCool · 09/12/2018 17:23

I should also add that we have similar earnings and attitude toward money. However, I don't believe in pool everything as both of us keep our own spending money in our own accounts and can fritter it away on whatever we choose. Joint accounts are used for bills, holidays, other house expenditure etc

Dimsumlosesum · 09/12/2018 17:25

We have separate and joint.

Whatthefoxgoingon · 09/12/2018 17:25

I do have my own current account but it never has more than a few thousand in it, for everyday expenses. We have separate ISAs as they have to be in individual names. Other than that, all other finances are joint. But other people like to keep all their money separate. Horses for courses.

MarshaBradyo · 09/12/2018 17:27

Loads of people who are married have separate accounts, I doubt any have issues with going on the same holiday with a lower and higher earner (unless something’s wrong)

It really isn’t an issue

PumpkinKitty82 · 09/12/2018 17:27

Don’t give a shite if it’s “modern” or not , me and my husband have separate accounts .
I like to keep track of my own spending and being able to buy presents et without him being able to see what comes up on the bank statements etc..
each to their own

Badbadbunny · 09/12/2018 17:28

A joint account for regular/household dd's and so's is practical in case one of you dies or becomes incapacitated - at least then all the usual bills continue to get paid. If they're paid out of a personal account, it would cause a lot of time/stress to get things changed over.