To think separate accounts are odd?

[AntMoon]

How many married/partnered mumsnetters have separate bank accounts to their other halves?

I'm assuming that the majority of people in long-term relationships have joint accounts. I've been with DH 9 years and we've had joint bank, savings & joint credit card account for years.

It it more 'modern' to keep everything separate these days?

Together over 20 years, married 15. Have separate accounts and a joint one for mortgage, insurance etc. Would never consider having just one joint account. My parents always had separate accounts. Don't thibk I know anyone with joint accounts.
To me that is what my grandmother's generation did as no rights over finances ones married and excluded from earning their own money.

I love it, it means independence, lack of control, more autonomy. I can be free, than dh who spends less than me, sitting down with me each week and going through my spending with a fine tooth comb, joint account, no thanks. Disclaimer: I used to have a frivilous spending habit which I have managed to curb recently, so dh does prefer separate accounts.

We have both joint and sepo

No I don't think it's odd at all, I think it's much better than being financially dependent on each other and gives more freedom to spend your own money.

DH and I have a joint account for bills and savings, everything else is in our own accounts.

I am a STAHM, each month dh gives me a set amount of money, he pays all bills, and the kids CB, and dd DLA all go in my account.

We have one joint account that is for household expenses. Dh puts into it. Dh pays mortgage, and bills. I pay for my car and associated costs, mobile and any clothes for myself. Dh pays for our holidays also, I’ll pay towards bits of the holiday like excursions, airport lounges etc.
Dh earns 4 times what I do. If I ask for money he’ll always give me some if I’m short/not managed to get to the bank.
It work for us. We both have separate savings also.
My dps never had a joint account. Now my df has passed dm got dfs estate. She doesn’t know what to do with the money as df was a gambler, and later on was housebound, so loads of money was saved. It was shocking.

We have one single account that everything goes into and out of and both have full access to it
We have no separate savings etc.
Has always been this way

But I dony think separate accounts is odd. I have several friends who are individual with their money to lesser or greater degrees and it seems to work fine for them. In fact for a couple it’s a really sensible idea as their DPs are not sensible with money whereas they are and would be upset if the savings were being blown.
Also a couple of friends who subsequently split up and it meant they had access to their own savings etc.

Each to their own I guess

I’ve been with my OH for 9.5 years and married for 8.

We’ve never had a joint account or joint mortgage. Works for us.

I'm not married but Hell will freeze over before me not having a separate bank account. A joint one for bills and stuff, yes, but that's it. My parents have been married for over 40 years and have a similar set up. I just don't understand why anyone would put themselves in such a vulnerable position.

When we were skint and every penny counted we had a joint account.

As we got better jobs we added a separate bills account, for all standing orders.

When DH started working and often had odd sums of money going in for his expenses, that he then needed for the next set of hotel rooms etc, it became safer, more convenient to get separate accounts.

I run all accounts online, DH has a vague idea how that works. But we still have separate spending accounts and I put any cash left over at then end of every month into 1 of 2 saving accounts, making sure we have equal amounts each. That saving amount might only be £10, but it always gets saved.

So I don't think either way is odd, it just depends on what works at any given time.

We've been together 13 years, living together 7, married 3 and have separate accounts.

We have a joint credit card that all household expenses go on and we each pay off the balance with a % based on our incomes. We split bills, although DH took on more when I went on maternity.

Nothing against joint accounts, we've just never needed one. This works for us.

Married 2 years, no joint bank account and not thinking about it any time soon. The house is mine and I pay for it so no sharing bills. I get the odd contribution so my money is mine only. Maybe when DH has a better job then I will consider it. Nothing is permanent. What if you break up and the other person runs off with the money because they legally can? Not a lot of security unless you have a prenup

No joint account here.

Works for us.

We have a joint one for bills, but separate current and savings accounts. We've been together 15 years and married for eight. This system works for us.

It’s really not odd

My parents have a household account & shared savings, and then separate accounts & savings each. It works for them and I think it's safer and more respectful of each indivudual. I would follow that model

I wouldn't combine mine in entirety with DP, either. Not whilst he still has a law school tuition loan to pay off- I'm not having that on my credit score. What I spend on me is my business (as is what he spends) as long as bills and joint payments are met, and I wouldn't let him have the benefit of my inheritance without reason, either. I wouldn't get married or have him move in to my property (not joint owned) without securing myself against splitting much as possible. Family have also said a trip to the solicitor would be in order before any big steps and I agree. I have far more family money than he does, but he easily out earns me. I would need that if we split. He'd be fine.

We have a joint account to pay bills and food, etc. Whats left in our own accounts after paying into the joint is ours to spend however we want. I assumed most people people had this arrangement!

Been together 29 years, we have a joint account, individual current accounts and individual savings. No way I'd want all in, Ive always valued my financial independence.

We (married 20 years, dc) have separate accounts. Never been any need to get a joint account. Both have more coming in than going out. Doesn't matter who pays bills or where money sits, it's still 'ours'.

DP and I have been together for 26 years and have separate accounts. Would freak us both out to have joint accounts! Everything gets paid for, according to what we earn and can afford, so there's never been any need to do it any differently.

Together 21 years, I'm a SAHM OH has all bills come out of his account and he pays money into my account every week. We have a joint savings account and a have a card for his Amex plus we have our own savings accounts. I like having my own account , out of all our friends only 2 have joint everything.

Me and DH have been together for 10 years and have 3 DH. No joint accounts.

My H and I had separate accounts plus one that we both had access to. It worked well for us and money was never one of our issues. My parents who married in 1966 always had separate accounts and then a household account. My mum told me to always make sure I had 'running away money' - she did too. She just never needed to use it. It isn't weird at all.

I think it's pretty normal these days but it's for a variety of reasons. DH has MH issues including impulse control and risky behaviour so I could in no way trust him with our 'life savings' or access to the 'big credit card' which is in my name. He has his own account and transfers a set amount each month to me for household expenses. He finds finances quite stressful anyway. A friend of mine is in a virtually identical situation and her partner just pays her back his portion. My DB and his long term gf also have completely separate accounts. He is a high earner and she's a bit of a lost sole (They have no DCs but she tends to quit jobs a lot). He covers all household costs and says that he just couldn't trust her with a joint account.

We have a joint account for savings but everything else is separate.

I think it's highly irresponsible to have everything joint. We split our bills total in half and pay half each. The rest of our wage stays in our own accounts.