To think separate accounts are odd?

[AntMoon]

How many married/partnered mumsnetters have separate bank accounts to their other halves?

I'm assuming that the majority of people in long-term relationships have joint accounts. I've been with DH 9 years and we've had joint bank, savings & joint credit card account for years.

It it more 'modern' to keep everything separate these days?

We have joint and separate accounts.

Having grown up with an abusive father and then gone from the frying pan to the fire when I left home I will never forgo my own bank account and I have told my DDs that she always have a separate account.

It’s so incredibly easy to move money

I do like having my own account, plus easier if you’re SE

Not odd at all. We've got 2 joint accounts for bills (one for cash back and one for the benefits) and I've got 2 personal accounts, the same as DH. We put our money in the joint accounts and whatever is left over is ours to do what we want with.

We have separate accounts. Husband earns more but pays more bills. We both have roughly the same amount of disposable money each month. If either of us wants something in particular we are both happy to put money towards it

Interesting that so many are separate on this thread. I’ve always had a separate account but have been told it was odd on past threads. Initially it was due to laziness but as we were together 10 years before marriage & it worked then no reason not to work once married with kids.

We've been together for 25 years and married for 18. His account is a joint account. My account is my account 😊

Separate accounts here - works for us. Neither of us could bear being micro-managed by the other. We contribute to the bills equally. Married over 20 years.

We have separate accounts but joint finances. Best not to put all your eggs in one basket. At least if one bank breaks the other will hopefully work.

I like being able to buy want I want without having to justify anything, easier to buy presents etc, no chance of either one of its doing a runner with all the money etc.

Never had a joint account, I wouldn't want him seeing what I'm earning or spending.

We sort of have separate accounts. DP and I work for the same company and they won’t do direct deposits into one account because we are not legally married yet. So we don’t have a joint account, he just transfers the Direct deposit amount to my account and we pay all bills from my account to make things easy.

We have separate accounts. Been together 15 years married for 8. No desire to have a joint account.

Together only 9 years? Still a young relationship then.
Also a young person’s attitude to assume that because you do something, it’s the norm and anything else is odd.
39 years together, one joint account and the rest separate, We’ve always liked the autonomy.

Also on a joint credit card does the secondary holder get the section 75 cover if they buy stuff on it.

DH and I have been together 20 years, married 15, 2 dc's, never had a joint account, never argued about money.

It just works for us, after 20 years I can't imagine ever changing it.

Joint (for house & child related stuff) and separate. Just because I love him & we’ve built a life together, doesn’t mean I think spending £3000 or whatever on a bike is something I should be contributing to.....

I think it’s always important for a woman, or indeed either person in a partnership, to have their own money

Used to be married to a gambler. Will never share an account with anyone again.

Been with DH for 12 years, we've always had separate accounts. In fact we only opened a joint savings this year because we could get a better interest rate over a certain amount and added together our savings met this rate.

14 years in and we have separate current accounts, joint savings. If I want to buy something expensive (shoes) I like to know it's out of my disposable cash. If I need top ups on mat leave I will just transfer from savings.

Anything separate wouldn't work for me in a family arrangement - all is joint, our money is shared and all big financial decisions are made together. We don't have to ask permission to spend money on a day to basis as our attitude to finances is the same - our marriage wouldn't work if they weren't.

I understand it works for others (this thread proves it) to keep them separate but I wouldn't have married someone who felt like that as finances can cause massive issues so important to be on the same page.

Together 36 years, married 30. Everything is joint and we both spend whatever we like, it’s just our money. I can’t imagine keeping money separate from dh. I don’t understand how it would work when people have very different incomes, does one have a better quality of life than the other?

@SilverApples

I love the young assumption, so I'll take it!

Admittedly I did pick the wrong word - swap odd for 'not the norm' and that's more the ethos of my question, rather than an opinion of odd-ness. If that makes sense.

Also, humbly happy to be wrong!

OP I’m with you we’re all joint. It goes in and out of the same pot. Savings are joint too.
We have to have full transparency with each other due to the past though and have actually found this works better for us.
Prior we did the whole joint for bills etc and our own separate ones. That was before kids though, I find it really odd that most of my friends do that still though as it means one of the couple is flush and the other struggles. They put equal in the bills and then since kids the full time working parent always has more money than the part time or SAHP. I just don’t get it 🤔 if we did it that way I’d be totally skint and get in debt (like many of my friends are) whilst my hubby lives the high life!

@mrsrhodgilbert exactly 🤔