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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you think of your dd age 11 went on a sleepover, and three kids were all in the birthday child’s room and your child slept on the landing alone ?

169 replies

LardLizard · 08/12/2018 23:42

?

OP posts:
Hellomatey001 · 09/12/2018 07:02

OP have your spoken to birthday girls mother?

Original poster
LardLizard · 09/12/2018 07:05

Well when i picked dd up
Dd told me in front of the mother, so I said oh !!!!! So the mum followed up with oh there was space in the room etc
I looked pissed off and she said that she had got her dd to lay down so her head was next to dd’d

And dd said no more at this time
So I didn’t know then that dd had been affectively shut out

OP posts:
RangeRider · 09/12/2018 07:05

I'd be calling the mum out on it. Appalling.

FishesThatFly · 09/12/2018 07:05

So basically the birthday girl didn't want DD there and was forced to invite her.... hense this is the treatment she got.

Poor DD. Xmas Angry

Original poster
LardLizard · 09/12/2018 07:06

Was thinking next time the mother texts to invite dd to do somethjgniklsimply say
Oh sorry but no, tbh dd didn’t enjoy last timesleepin gonntbenlanding alone ...,,,

OP posts:
Original poster
LardLizard · 09/12/2018 07:11

Dd also said it was boring
They went out to subway for lunch, which is very local the herhouse, so prob out for maybe 45 mins, then tea was take away pizza, and the rest of the time they were just left to their own devices
Which basically ment played a couple of board games and mainly they all went on their phones.....
So no activities planned so I bet it felt like a really long time
Birthday mum stayed in her bedroom
And left them too it

Told displease please call me next time
Any time I’ll come n pick her up

OP posts:
funinthesun18 · 09/12/2018 07:14

The birthday child should be ashamed of herself for treating your DD like that. I bet she was quite happy to accept a present wasn’t she? And the mum is just as bad for allowing this to happen!
Your poor DD. I can’t stand bullies.

Original poster
LardLizard · 09/12/2018 07:16

Dd won’t be going there anymore

OP posts:
MemorylikeDory · 09/12/2018 07:21

I may be overthinking this but it wouldn't surprise me if because the girls mum said the b'day girl had to invite your DD she had a strop and said she didn't want her to sleep in her room and thus came about the sleeping on the landing with her head near your DD scenario.

Hopefully your DD is strong enough to leave that friend behind and make friends with someone who can handle more than one friendship group.

Perpetuallytiredzzz · 09/12/2018 07:23

Definitely time to move on from these ‘friends’ for your dd Sad I have been on receiving end of this treatment by 2 friends who cut me out on a sleepover and there was only the 3 of us. But I was much older than your dd at this point and basically walked home in early morning hours...like a pp it has stayed with me even as an adult. End of our friendships that night tho one of them became fb friends a few years ago and messaged to apologise for her behaviour which was surprising. Definitely treat dd and encourage avoiding these bullies op x x

dulcefarniente · 09/12/2018 07:28

Don't you just fill your lounge with airbeds and keep them all together? Was the bedroom door shut? The last sleepover we had 2 of the girls kept going and shutting themselves in a different room to the others (while the party was in full swing) which I thought was very rude. I asked them to rejoin the party twice then suggested they might prefer to go home. They did then join in but girls can be very cliquey at 11 so I can easily imagine the scenario your dd was in. If I'd found out there wasn't enough room I would have moved them into a room that was big enough it's not rocket science.

Original poster
LardLizard · 09/12/2018 07:30

Luckily dd has got lots of other friends
So that’s good

So have Feeling they will drift off from each other now....

It’s a bit odd though how dd still wanted to go though after being told her mum said she had to invite her.... I think dd was thinking I’ll still go as it will be fun.....

I’ll ask dd whyshe still wanted to go after hearing that
As I’m sure as a child I wouldn’t have wanted to go if I’d heard that

OP posts:
Original poster
LardLizard · 09/12/2018 07:32

What do you think to the fact the mum just stayed in her room all day
And that there were no activities at all planed ?

OP posts:
Original poster
LardLizard · 09/12/2018 07:33

I’m not sure about the door
I shall ask her

OP posts:
Vegisgrowingwell · 09/12/2018 07:39

No issue at that age about having no activities planned.

Original poster
LardLizard · 09/12/2018 07:41

All day and all night is quite a long time to hang out though ......

Perhoasbif they did somerhjng in the afternoon it would have broken the day up a bit
Even just a trip to the park

OP posts:
Bornin1969 · 09/12/2018 07:49

LardLizard - I'm sorry but you sound annoying, just let it go, don't try to find more things to bitch about. You are being judgmental about the food and the activities...give it a rest !

Roaring · 09/12/2018 07:53

The food and no activities is irrelevant. You're annoyed and that's understandable, but bitching about the mum over petty stuff isn't setting a good example.
I hope you get to chat to your daughter about her own boundaries. Hopefully she'll feel able to distance herself from this girl.

YearOfYouRemember · 09/12/2018 07:55

Bloody hell Bornin. What a horrible post.

FrancisCrawford · 09/12/2018 07:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LardLizard · 09/12/2018 07:58

Bornin, could give a toss if you think I sound annoying
I think you sound pathetic and rude
But so what

OP posts:
Bornin1969 · 09/12/2018 08:09

You are just trying to milk from a situation that is bad - yes that's really crap the way your dd was treated, I'd find it unbearable but the rest ??

Dollymixture22 · 09/12/2018 08:11

Yep no activities is odd. At that age a sleepover usually involves baking or some other group activity then a movie. You have to tire the little blighters out!

Odd behaviour from the mum, and the birthday girl sounds a but mean.

Lovemusic33 · 09/12/2018 08:13

I think it’s ok to sleep on the landing if the bedrooom doors left open so they can still chat, I could do it with dd’s room as there’s space by her bedroom door.

I think you dd is being a bit unreasonable saying ‘it was boring’, my dd and her friends would be happy with 2 takeaways in one day (subway and pizza) and being left to their own devices to entertain themselves, I don’t think kids that age need activities sorting for them.

I think your dd maybe exaggerating and that the door was left open and your dd was free to go in and out as she pleases, just that sleeping space was tight so it spewed out the door onto the landing.

Original poster
LardLizard · 09/12/2018 08:18

Bornin I can use this is too gauge what is common and normal regarding activities or not
As personally I think all day and all night with no activities and a groups of 11 year old kids browsing on their phones
Doesn’t sound great or fun
If you don’t like it do something more useful with your time

OP posts:
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