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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you think of your dd age 11 went on a sleepover, and three kids were all in the birthday child’s room and your child slept on the landing alone ?

169 replies

LardLizard · 08/12/2018 23:42

?

OP posts:
JustABetterPlayer · 09/12/2018 00:19

Parents and the other children are all bastards, nudge your daughter towards different friends.

Iloveautumnleaves · 09/12/2018 00:19

What utter bullshit. There isn’t a bedroom small enough that 4 eight year olds couldn’t squeeze in.

That’s just nasty.

Poor DD 😢. I’d invite a friend over (none of them obviously!) for a sleep over soon and make sure she has plenty of opportunities to make friends away from these girls.

WendyWoofer · 09/12/2018 00:21

Yesterday 23:47 LardLizard

*Dd slept in the landing while hearing them laughing and joking n talking in the room

Even the birthday girls mum said it was because there was not enough room in her bedroom*

That is absolutely appalling! Why would a parent allow their child to invite more children than they can cater for? 😱

I'm a calm person, usually, but I'd kick off in this scenario.

My dd was allowed to invite 7 friends to her sleepover. There's no way 8 children would fit in her bedroom so they all slept in the living room.

It's bullying to exclude one child from a group of 'friends'. I'd be livid!

DoYouLikePinaColadas · 09/12/2018 00:26

Horrible, horrible scenario! I remember having many a sleepover in my home as a teenager and because of lack of room we always slept in the living room, a big blow up bed slept 3 and 2 on the sofa. It's plain nasty, squashing in is always part of the fun. Sleeping on the landing!? That's a new one, it's like putting a pet out and I'd be raging!

jessstan2 · 09/12/2018 00:33

I also agree with White Dust.

BumsexAtTheBingo · 09/12/2018 00:36

You say you doubt your dd volunteered - have you actually asked her what happened?

jessstan2 · 09/12/2018 00:37

DoyoulikePinacolados (yes I do), agree with your post too.

If any had to sleep on landing it should have been more than one, with door open outside the host's bedroom, so they could all join in the fun.

My opinion is that it was a bad scene but I think the host's parents hadn't thought it out properly and perhaps even didn't know what a sleepover entailed.

Don't fret though, she'll get over it, bless. So will you. Nobody died!

Flowers to you and daughter and Wine to you.

DropZoneOne · 09/12/2018 00:41

That's thoughtless. DDs room is a squeeze, to get 3 inflatable beds in, i had to move some furniture out! The following year we set up in the living room instead.

OffToBedhampton · 09/12/2018 00:50

That's a rubbish sleepover. No parent would.plan that. My DDs have had 8 sleep in the lounge with all squished onto sofas and blow up beds, or limited to 4 in their bedrooms.
No child gets left out of the rooms as they're up jabbering late into the night! Grin

OffToBedhampton · 09/12/2018 00:51
  • I find we can fit 3 teenage girls on one double blow up bed with sleeping bags...
FrancisCrawford · 09/12/2018 00:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

melj1213 · 09/12/2018 01:50

How can a room be big enough for 3 11year olds but not 4?

Even with just a single bed there should be room for 2 kids to top and tail in the bed and 2 top and tail on a blow up bed/trundle ... only 2 bedspaces needed. Or 2 on the bed and the other two in sleeping bags on the floor.

I had a box room as a kid and still remember getting 4 friends into my room by sharing my bed with one friend and 3 others were in sleeping bags but the only way for them all to fit was to have the sleeping bags go under my bed so their legs were under the bed frame. We even had to leave my door open as there was no room to open it without bashing people on the head if anyone needed the loo in the night! It was cramped as hell but it was the best kind of sleepover in that we barely noticed as we spent so little time actually sleeping!

Grannyannex · 09/12/2018 01:58

Could have swapped for a
Different bedroom.

Or slept in lounge together

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/12/2018 02:36

Terrible behaviour by the parents. Dd wanted a sleepover with 3 friends over the summer holidays, not her birthday. I said 2 just for ease. If we did a big one for her birthday we would put them in the biggest bedroom together or in the living room. If they didn’t all fit in (which I don’t see at all), the birthday girl should have slept on the landing. It’s her house.

kateandme · 09/12/2018 02:56

oh yes.ive been that one.pushed out.its fucking horrible and decades ter(oversensitive woe is me perhaps) its has stuck with me and remember the feeling of it still to this day.
this upset me more than my parents could have imagine.please look after her(not doubting you will) and make sure she knows this doesn't and shouldn't happen and its piss poor on them not on your daughter.and how when they are young girls/kids can be insensitive unthinking wankers.

Elphie54 · 09/12/2018 04:23

This is so sad. I agree with a PP about asking your daughter before calling the mother. She may not want you to take it any further.

However, I would also tell her that at ANY party, if something like this should happen again, or she feels left out/unsafe/uncomfortable for any reason, to call and will pick her up regardless of the time of night.

Girls can be so mean.

maras2 · 09/12/2018 04:51

Hope your daughter's ok today.
I'd certainly be having words with the parent(s).Angry

nbtosser · 09/12/2018 05:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
LardLizard · 09/12/2018 06:42

Yes dd was really upset, said she had a rubbish time
Surely they could have all gone in the living room
I think they we’re all on mattresses

I’ve told dd to not be afraid to say actually I didn’t enjoy it

OP posts:
Flowerpot2005 · 09/12/2018 06:49

What an awful situation for your DD to have been in, I'd have been gutted hearing my DD tell me that.

Hugs to you both, the friends are little shits & the parents worse. New friends time me thinks!

Isitme13 · 09/12/2018 06:54

That’s really crap.

My dd recently went to a sleepover where the amount of girls invited wouldn’t fit into the inviters’ bedroom - they all slept in host parents bedroom instead, and host mum was on a matress on the landing.

Your dd needs new friends.

Original poster
LardLizard · 09/12/2018 06:56

Nbtosser, whonsaid that to your dd? The dad ? Or the other kids?

Dd said thebirthdsy girl was told by her mum to lay a certain way, so her head was by the door so the birthdsyngirps head was near dd in the landing...
But apparently birthday girl didn’t even do that

Tbh I think reason they didn’t have it in the living room was perhaps mum didn’t want it getting messed up....

Dd is only mates with the birthday girl
She didn’t know the other two
Apparently they were nice though....

Also birthday girl had told dd thatbthis she she won’t be invited, dd said that’s fine no problem, she did genuinely understand
The birthday girl said you are invited my mum says i have to invite you......

At this point as a child myselfninwouldnt have wanted to go
But dd still wanted to go....

OP posts:
PrivateDoor · 09/12/2018 06:57

Definitely time for her to look for new friends. Sorry she went through this op Flowers

Original poster
LardLizard · 09/12/2018 06:57

I was going to invite birthday girl to a nice Xmas activity
Iwont be bothering now though
And dd has already said herself that this has basically ruinined her friendship with birthday girl

OP posts:
NationalShiteDay · 09/12/2018 07:00

Have you called the Mum out on her shitty behaviour?

If not, why not? Stand up for your daughter, they've treated her appallingly and she needs to see someone stand up for her.

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