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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

thinking about not doing stockings? dc are 24, 21 and 19,

214 replies

GaryBaldbiscuit · 07/12/2018 00:48

i am just so busy working
they are a palavar, and not really wanted.

i know i will though, but aIbu to think about not doing them.

feeling guilty for not buying advent calenders fgs

OP posts:
QueenofmyPrinces · 07/12/2018 09:06

I’m late 30’s and my mom still buys me an Advent calendar Hmm

Thankfully I don’t get stockings but she does them for the grandchildren and other children in the family.
Some of the children she does them for are 12+ (the oldest being 16) and I think it’s crazy.....I’m sure they only accept them to be polite.

You are crazy OP Grin

blueskiesandforests · 07/12/2018 09:07

DappledThings stopping stockings when the children stop believing is punishing intelligence, critical thinking skills and honesty. Lie or don't engage your brain and you get more presents isn't the parenting message most people are aiming for...

BertrandRussell · 07/12/2018 09:09

Mine are 17 and 22 and they will have stockings whether they want them or not -I love doing stockings!

blueskiesandforests · 07/12/2018 09:10

I'm not talking about stockings/ parenting messages for adults in my last post obviously! Rather about stopping stockings for kids who are inquisitive, intelligent or simply pragmatic or coincidentally find out- and are honest, at 6 or 7!

BertrandRussell · 07/12/2018 09:11

“We stopped getting stockings when we stopped believing in Father Christmas. I assumed this was standard.”

Mine never 100% believed so that wouldn’t have worked for us.

IntentsAndPorpoises · 07/12/2018 09:13

We stopped getting stockings when we stopped believing in Father Christmas. I assumed this was standard

My mum still refuses to acknowledge and if asked would say if you don't believe you won't get anything!

IntentsAndPorpoises · 07/12/2018 09:15

My dad is 65 and still has a stocking! I've already got some things for it.

SingaporeSlinky · 07/12/2018 09:19

Stockings don’t need to be a palaver, just don’t fill with tat. And if they are huge sacks, maybe get smaller ones for future. Ours stockings aren’t huge, so they’d fit a dvd, one of those giant tubes of smarties (Asda have all red Rudolph noses this year!), maybe a pair of earrings. Just reduce what you put in.

Bunnymumma · 07/12/2018 09:19

I'm ready to get roasted here but my mum still does a stocking for me every year, even though I've told her to stop. I'm 36, married and have a little one on the way!

EllaSavag · 07/12/2018 09:23

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BitchQueen90 · 07/12/2018 09:23

I'm 28 and I'm going to my mum's for Christmas. I'm going to show her how many people still do stockings for their adult DC. Grin

DappledThings · 07/12/2018 09:28

DappledThings stopping stockings when the children stop believing is punishing intelligence, critical thinking skills and honesty. Lie or don't engage your brain and you get more presents isn't the parenting message most people are aiming for...

Eh? But the entire point of stockings is tjat they come from FC. We still got all our other presents. Another thing I always thought was weird was main presents coming from FC. I certainly don't feel I was punished by no longer receiving a satsuma, little bag of chocolate money and a couple of tiny toys.

C8H10N4O2 · 07/12/2018 09:28

Mine are all 20s, all still get stockings as do their visiting partners.

I like making up stockings Xmas Grin

lastqueenofscotland · 07/12/2018 09:33

We are 27, 25 and 20 and we still get stockings.
We do one for our mum too Grin

6freerangeeggs · 07/12/2018 09:38

My sibling and I stopped getting them when we were 17 and 13 respectively.

kateandme · 07/12/2018 09:42

It's a must in our family except we don't have a stocking we each have pillow case haha. Even my mum and dad have one for each other. And oldest here is 32 the youngest 26. But I know mum likes doing it or certainly doesn't have a problem with keeping it going to be the same since we were small and I hope it carries on and I'll carry on with mine too

BlackBeltInPresentWrapping · 07/12/2018 09:42

My mum still refuses to acknowledge

Acknowledge what, exactly? Xmas Hmm

blueskiesandforests · 07/12/2018 09:49

DappledThings if that's literally all that was in the stockings (no DVD/ CD, no tube of smarties etc) maybe - the chocolate money and smarties are big deals to my kids for some inexplicable reason, and I usually put an audiobook CD or music cd in, or sometimes a DVD in the past. Not getting those when your siblings do and you're only 8 or 9 and the stocking content would cost you a month's pocket money is a big deal.

I know someone who emotionally blackmails her children into faking belief - not for younger siblings, for her the mother, and not only in father Christmas but the religious side too. She's proud of having told her children that if they question the existence of god or Jesus or father Christmas then there will be no more presents. It put me right off her - I hadn't known her that long and we were getting to know one another and approaching the acquaintance/ friend boarderline but her coming out with that was as off putting as if she'd kicked a puppy IMO. Shitty. The stocking thing isn't as bad because its presumably not used to blackmail explicitly, and isn't main presents, but it's still taking something pleasant away from a small child as a direct consequence for them of using critical thinking skills and telling the truth!

DappledThings · 07/12/2018 09:58

No, definitely nothing like CDs or DVDs but then they weren't really a thing when I was getting stockings. Cassette tapes maybe!

And there were still chocolates hanging on the tree too.

QueenGoblin · 07/12/2018 09:58

@Etino Honestly, it has never occurred to me to give her a stocking. It was just something mum did.

We have a pretty relaxed Christmas, and stockings are about the only thing my mum does do for it - she doesn't decorate the house, she doesn't do the cooking, any of the prep or the food shopping, she doesn't even really do any present shopping (she normally asks me or my sisters to get things for her). She has maybe a handful of times decorated, and obviously when we were little she shopped, but she's never done anything to do with the food.

Mum does the stockings and the boxing day presents. It's all only little things and she mainly suggested stopping as I am the youngest and I have my own house, husband and child now so I think she just thought maybe we were all too old for it. You can never be too old for a stocking.

blueskiesandforests · 07/12/2018 10:07

Yes they weren't a thing when I was getting stockings either Dappled - my parents disaporoved of "pop music" and we didn't have audio books (or cassette players until we bought ourselves them with saved up pocket money) on tape - I don't know why, DH had hundreds of audio books on cassette from his childhood... Ours contained novelty crap mostly, but I put a CD or DVD in my children's!

Etino · 07/12/2018 10:13

@QueenGoblin fairynuff!
FWIW everyone in the house overnight gets a stocking with satsuma, paperback, and then the sort of thing I’d buy for uni students and travelling family members, toothpaste shower gel etc. D does mine and it includes a tea towel/ potato peeler kitchen essential as he does the Christmas Day meal and I am sous chef.

Dvg · 07/12/2018 10:16

To be fair I stopped getting presents or having a Xmas at about 18 19 and it did really upset me. I was raised to love Xmas and feel the joy of receiving presents all beautifully wrapped only to have it stop as I got older.

MRex · 07/12/2018 10:25

Can you just get each of them to do another one's stocking, rotate each year? Then they get all the fun without you doing anything. If they don't want it then they can decide that amongst themselves.

MRex · 07/12/2018 10:27

My sisters do my mum and dad's stockings, my niece and nephew do my sisters, I'm the lazy one and do what I'm told.