Someone bought an elf for DD

[Yabbers]

Got a call from school today, a staff member was talking with DD yesterday and DD told her she was going to write to Santa to ask for an elf on the shelf.

Staff member bought one and left it at her desk this morning so DD thinks Santa has done as she asked.

I've a huge problem with the whole elf thing, happy for others to do it, it's just not for us.

We're under a lot of pressure for a number of reasons and now we've
got to spend each bloody night doing something with this damned elf. AiBU to be really pissed off that someone else has done this to us?

I love when traditions just naturally evolve.

A member of your child’s teaching staff imposing an elf on the family is hardly a natural evolution.

I love when traditions naturally evolve too. Ours certainly have. World of difference from having some commercial fad foisted upon you.

Contact the school safeguarding officer. It is totally inappropriate for a staff member to buy your child a present. It does not matter what the present is. Rules to prevent grooming are in place for a reason.

As much as that was kind ,I think it was crossing a line .
We don’t do the “Elf” thing , I think it’s ridiculous and feel pressured every year because dd comes home telling me stories about her friends Elves which makes me feel guilty.
Great if you have to time to do that shot every night but I for one do not and many I know who do are so half arsed with it now that they wish they never started it !

My dd age 7 told me this morning that everyone has an elf in her class, and the teacher asks the children every morning what their elf has done.

She also said the same thing happened last year when she was in year 2 and the teacher asked about her elf and she had to say she doesn't have one. Made me feel a bit shit to be fair...

She doesn't believe in father Xmas btw, so the reason for the elf wouldn't appeal to her. I asked if she wanted one now and she said she wasn't sure...

We have an elf. It only appears after the visit to Santa (next weekend) and doesn't do anything stupid, just moves from room to room. My DD is not allowed to touch it or talk to it, just looks for it each morning. No big hassle, until you get into bed just about falling asleep and realise that she hasn't been moved :-). We've told my DD that she goes back to Santa each night to report on her behaviour which is why she comes back in a different place. Works for now but probably this is the last year.

Nobody needs to buy into everything.

This is absolutely true.

This elf is hardly a tradition, it’s a fad

I'm never sure why people get so worked up about this. I can't say it's status as a 'tradition' or not really concerns me. I saw something I knew my DS would love and I went with it.

Only time will tell anyway. All traditions have to start somewhere. I bet there were plenty of people in the 1840s (or whenever) berating the awful new fad for Christmas trees.

World of difference from having some commercial fad foisted upon you.

The vast majority of our long standing, shared Christmas traditions will have had commercial backing and shrewd marketing behind them at the beginning.

However I do completely understand the OPs annoyance that her hand has been forced on this one. it wasn't the teachers place to instigate this tradition for her.

The first thing I thought was has she bought the rest of the kids something.
I don't think other parents will be pleases if she hasnt. Itd be looked on as blue eyed favoritism where I'm from

I think it’s crossing boundaries a bit for a member of staff to single one child out and give them a gift. I doubt it’s the intention but the staff member should be aware that it could be considered grooming and is a big safeguarding no no.
I would be telling your dd that the elf lives at school and I’m sure he’ll be getting up to lots of mischief in the classroom 😂

@cadburysflake I agree with you.

Farking hell don't have kids they are a massive inconvenience.

We have 3 elves. One each. The dds bloody love it.

Both DH and I would be livid if anyone did to us.

We choose not to do the whole elf thing because as far as we're concerned our children need to behave all year round and to do it because it's the right thing to do . Not out of fear of disappointing someone/thing and losing out on a 'reward'.

And it wouldn't be coming home.

I 2ould be pussed off tbh.
I decide what happens in my house not some random.
I would be explaining this to school and whereas it might have been to them a nice gesture its not been thought our nor parent asked if its ok. Not very professional at all to impose your idea of xmas on someone else.

I think YABU - just stick him on a shelf and sometimes he moves, sometimes he just watches. They did something your daughter will love... and you think it's pressure. Perhaps you cba for your DD, fair enough - but it is not pressure.

Farking hell don't have kids they are a massive inconvenience

Jeez, how the hell do people get to that conclusion because some people don't want to do the fucking elf!

I personally hate the bloody little Chucky-like stalker but if someone bought DD one, I'd have most fun moving it around and messing around with that stupid thing.

There have been a couple of teachers who have purchased very nice things for our DC. I don't encourage it but I certainly would never think it's negative. They work closely with our DC everyday and really love our DC in a good way which our DC benefit from.

Personally I would say thank you. After the first day I'd tell my DC it's been called to Lapland to help Santa with the Christmas gift making and hopefully can make it back for Christmas Day. Wrap it that night as a Christmas gift for the child. Job done.

@hazeyjane it's not a massive commitment though is it?

I can’t believe all the drama about a little toy. My DS has special needs and is at a SN school, his TA frequently buys him little inexpensive gifts, it’s not a safeguarding issue nor is she grooming him as suggested by a PP. We have an elf, he doesn’t do anything naughty, he moves around the house each night, it takes me less than a minute, DS has to find him when he gets up and is delighted when he does.
If your DC wants an elf then let them have one for goodness sake.

The teacher is being so VVVU........ she gave it on the 6th? So your DD has missed out of 6 Days of Elf related Fun and Japes?

Yes he's a creepy looking little fecker.
But "Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition" is a Thing in he USA.
The Elf (that you have to name) and the Book to track his progress.
Not a passing fad at all.

Queenofthedrivensnow

Loads of posters have said why they don't like them, why they don't want to start having to remember to do it every night for a month, why someone else shouldn't be choosing which traditions your family have and that they do lots of other things that are christmassy and magical yada yada yada.....this idea that it's just because you can't be arsed to create the magic is horse apples.

....and why does not want to do elf bollocks = children are an inconvenience sheesh that is a big leap

This thread has turned out weirdly.

OP I'm with you, it's a massive inconvenience when your plate is already full to overspilling. I've made a conscious decision not to start this elf nonsense, and I would be mightily pissed off if someone in a school had overridden this decision and left me with the decision of disappointing my child or possibly pushing me beyond my limits.