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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Three time flash is not just an accident?

181 replies

TheQueef · 05/12/2018 08:39

Currently discussing with adult DS.

Yesterday I had some day surgery. The only two people in the DS recovery were myself and a man approx 50.
First time I was in bed across and had a full uninterrupted view but we had both had anus and bum surgery so I assumed it was inadvertent.
I got up and dressed so I could sit up and not be in bed opposite.
Two minutes afterwards he wanted up and moving to the arm chairs where I sat.
This is where the three come from.
First he sat with his gown rucked up and knob out. The sister brought a blanket.
Second time leg over the chair arm, balls out (how he was moving his legs after a fissure repair I don't know) Again staff covered him up.
Third time he actually laid it on his leg, like a balding water vole in a satsuma net. Sad

I moved and was discharged.
I was so angry on the was home that DS and me are still butting heads.
He said it must be an accidental flash but IMO it was all deliberate.
Oppressive, sinister and deliberate.

Have I had too much mumsnet or is DS wrong?

OP posts:
Daysofpearlyspencer · 05/12/2018 11:46

He may of course identify as a woman, so thats OK then, its a girldick

Hideandgo · 05/12/2018 11:48

Give it a rest Days. Hmm

LuluJakey1 · 05/12/2018 11:51

This is what google found which may be very appropriate. I am not sure where the satsuma net comes into it at all.

Three time flash is not just an accident?
KisstheTeapot14 · 05/12/2018 11:51

Nasty. We need more vociferous aunts in the world shouting at men to put their tiny vegetables away. Deffo the way forward.

Hope you heal well OP, I would be reporting too. They may not be able to do anything in retrospect but all reports add to the general picture of what is real.

charlestonchaplin · 05/12/2018 11:53

The NHS actually has a single gender ward policy, not a single sex ward policy as we are frequently told. I am still reading through relevant documents about the policy but it seems there was clear intent to hoodwink the general public. Also, as many know, some specialised wards like ITU, HDU and assessment wards are excluded.

LuluJakey1 · 05/12/2018 11:55

I would just add that when I had pain medication in hospital I was convinced there was someone hiding behind my bedside chair and told every nurse, Dr and visitor about it - very calmly.

My uncle, who had dementia, had a minor procedure as a day case and stripped off and stood by his bed and urinated on the bed. Then walked down the ward naked to the door to leave.

Pain medication or dementia may be an explanation amongst others.

LuluJakey1 · 05/12/2018 12:05

The Guardian has a recipe for what looks like a gingerbread bald water vole.

Original poster
TheQueef · 05/12/2018 12:12

It was the penis in the first picture. All tussled up in some nhs, pad holding, green and white net knickers.

I have the image burned into my mind.

Before mnet I would have made embarrassed excuses for him. Now I know some men just get off on it it's irked me.

OP posts:
TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 05/12/2018 12:18

If it's a known side effect of anaesthetic then that's all the more reason why the hospital is at fault for putting the man in a mixed bay. Otherwise that's basically a policy decision that women don't have a right to be free from flashers.

Missingstreetlife · 05/12/2018 13:27

Give him a filthy look and say cover yourself up, or complain to staff at the time? Pals are useless but complaint to hospital authority about single sex facilities, especially this kind of surgery, different if it was bunions.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 05/12/2018 13:27
  1. Quite deliberate, attention-seeking knobbery.
  1. My very reasonable DS and I were talking only recently about the importance of women only safe spaces. Funnily enough mixed sex wards came up. Men just don’t get it because they don’t need to be protected from women.
Adversecamber22 · 05/12/2018 13:40

I have a hatred of mixed wards, interesting isn’t it that it’s men that sit legs akimbo with it all hanging out.

Well done for complaining.

Regardless of if it’s deliberate or some side effect of meds which I think would be few and far between it shows why single sex wards are needed.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 05/12/2018 13:57

That's a naked mole rat Lulu.

Google has pulled a fast one on you. Grin

ThanosSavedMe · 05/12/2018 13:57

Why are people still excusing a man for flashing and telling a woman to shut up? I don’t care what meds he might have been on or what his mental health status is. He should have been removed if he wasn’t in control of his actions or threatened with the police if he were.

I understand that hospitals are short on funds and staff but if we don’t speak up about this kind of thing nothing will change.

I don’t understand why woman are still excusing his behaviour. Just because it might not bother you doesn’t mean than no one else should be bothered by it.

BertrandRussell · 05/12/2018 14:01

“I don’t understand why woman are still excusing his behaviour.”

Because that’s what some women do. It’s incredibly depressing.

SantaBabycharly · 05/12/2018 14:59

Well , I know how my MIL behaved after an op and if I told her she would be MORTIFIED.
I did say to OP that if she felt she should complain she should go ahead.

NOTthepinkranger · 05/12/2018 15:08

Haven’t RTFT bollock me all you want but why wasn’t it single sex bays?!

Becca19962014 · 05/12/2018 15:13

NOT not all hospitals have single sex bays. Mine doesn't.

Juanbablo · 05/12/2018 15:15

Urgh, what a creep. That does not sound accidental to me. Balding water vole had me cracking up, you've got a way with words! I'm sorry the bastard treated you like that though.

Original poster
TheQueef · 05/12/2018 16:12

I Britishly avoided making eye contact with him.
I found a 2015 copy of Good Food and made full use of it.
He was skipping between singing along to the beegees and breaking his neck to watch the nurses.
Or adjusting himself so either his knob was outside the pants or his balls. Not all at the same time Hmm

OP posts:
Teadazed · 05/12/2018 17:42

Could you let us know what happens with your conplaint? If the nursing team was aware enough to provide male only staff I'm wondering why they didn't move him away from female patients as well or at least put up a screen.

sparklepops123 · 05/12/2018 18:25

God what a grim little man, the fact the nurses were changed to male says it all, hopefully he runs out of pain relief fast

nokidshere · 05/12/2018 18:47

In all the day wards i have been in there have been curtains round each bay? Could you not have closed yours, or asked the nurses to close his, or simply spoken up and complained loudly at the time?

I think services are so stretched that this would be deemed a minor complaint and an excuse would be found for it (it was the effects of the medication etc) and PALS will probably not take it as seriously since it wasn't reported at the time

Becca19962014 · 05/12/2018 19:03

When I was in day surgery and on observation we weren't allowed to close our curtains. I tried closing mine but wasn't allowed. When I was admitted to clinical decisions waiting for a bed of discharge the same thing happened. Every time I closed them I got into trouble because they were observing me and couldn't if my curtains were closed. They were only allowed to be closed for examination by dr/nurse or other hcp.

Original poster
TheQueef · 05/12/2018 19:22

You can't close the curtain nokids as Becca said they need to see you.
I myself had just had surgery but I still asked to be moved, bearing in mind I thought it was possibly an accident NK as I said before I don't think they could have done more the day surgery isn't that big for another ward. So speaking up isn't really relevant. He could just not his cock out?

OP posts: