To sell Santa as a story

[Iwontdosanta]

That is to say, make it clear it isn't 'real' but to still have fun with it.

My brother told me from the age of 4 that Santa wasn’t real so I never believed, and I can 100% tell you that Christmas was still magical for me. I still had butterflies on Christmas Eve and tried to stay awake as long as possible, and up as early as I could get away with on Christmas Day to open my stocking.

That's exactly my memory @Acrasia.

I have two children (that I have only known for 14 weeks ((adopted)). They think Christmas is magical (it's probably the first year that they understand). I'm not sure what their previous christmas's were like. They may have been too young, or it may have just been a massive disappointment.

But they are loving it, there is no way I'm spoiling the magic, they feel safe, secure and confident that Father Christmas is coming! Plenty of time for the reality later, and everything other revelation that reality 'kindly' brings them. And quite frankly, my kids have been through far worse already than learning that the big jolly red man doesn't exist! They will be allowed to enjoy that magic exists for many years to come, they have limited resources of 'magic' left, so I will ensure they get their share!!

I would have thought adoption makes it absolutely crucial you are truthful with them tbh

Truthful, absolutely yes, but I'm not stealing what's left of their childhood from them. Isn't believing in the magic a part of childhood? (I respect your choices by the way). They are 2 and 3, so on that logic, should I tell them the full truth of their background? Re-traumatise them when they are just getting to know us? When they are not developed enough to fully comprehend? I think not, I think I will let them be children, and educate them in an age appropriate way, they have had such little chance so far.

sorry where did you think I said I thought you should do that?

Well, because it is more crucial to be truthful to adopted children. I'm not looking for an argument honestly, my kids believe (through no help from us). I choose to let them believe.

you are so looking for an argument

Because he isn't, is he? Seems a bit daft to tell them an out and out untruth.

People bring their kids up telling them God is real. To me that's much more damaging than believing in Santa for a few years.

My DSC were told by their mum that FC is real if you want him to be, consequently they never believed. When my DD was born DSC(13) made me promise that we wouldnt say that to her and that we'd make sure she believes. He's not traumatised or anything dramatic but he has shared that he wishes he had believed.

@Iwontdosanta...I'm really not, but you may accuse me of living vicariously through my recent editions! Maybe I was told the truth too early and it had a bad affect, maybe I was left to believe for too long...? Who knows, but I do know that even I, now believe in the magic, after years and years of childless Christmases, I am now sobbing at Polar Express and my eldest has the biggest grin on his face at everything 'Christmas'. Maybe we can compare notes on the effect on our children 20 years down the line and put this issue to bed?

OK giddy if that's how you want to play it. I didn't really appreciate the post that tried to use your children's past trauma as a cheap shot to score points. K?

Wow, I'm out.

I did not use my children's trauma as a cheap shot, I expressed my view from a different angle and a different experience, where the children have not had as much magic as most children would have. But take it as you like, I thought people asked stuff on here for different POV, in my last post I also tried to express that the magic may be more about my feelings, rather than the children's. But as I say, take it as you will.

You suggested that I believed telling your children "the truth" and re-traumatising them when CLEARLY i didn't

which is annoying

I really think the Santa myth is nice. I agree with the PPs who have said I was never traumatised by finding he wasn’t real and anyway, it was worth it for the years that I believed he was. It was magical, and it’s left a bit of magic around Christmas forever for me. I love seeing my children believing now, brings it all back.

Sorry I have annoyed you. You annoyed me because you called into question my views and that it is more important for me to be 'truthful' to my children . I am sorry I pissed you off, not my intention and I did acknowledge my part in the 'magic' I want to create. To be honest i can't believe we are arguing about fucking Father Christmas!

Merry Christmas to you!

fucking father christmas! christ! not in the christmas spirit!

Indeed!! Neither is taking the lord's name in vain!! Haha, all the best to you and yours!

YANBU but mn won't agree...

Wow..I really don't understand why you would want to spoil the magic of christmas for children..I do not resent my parents at all, for telling me he was real! We use to listen to the radio on Christmas eve and get an update to where he was in the world..it was so magical!

Children grow up so fast these days..the world is a horrible place! Don't all children deserve just a bit of magic, letting their imagination go wild on Christmas eve night..the reindeer landing on the roof, how does he get all the presents down the chimney, the elves making all the presents!
Our house was magical around christmas..I really don't understand why it's such a bad thing?!

the world isn't a horrible place, don't be so daft

Yep the world is all glitter, sparkles and rainbows 😚

My DD7 asked if I believe in FC. I said that I believe in the spirit of Christmas and FC is part of the spirit of Christmas. Which I thought was a good way of not outright lying. DD berated me saying the spirit of Christmas was about the birth of Jesus! That told me 🙄

Yes the world is a fucked up place and people suck.
No, selling santa as a story or saying outright he's not real doesn't mean there's no "magic" at Christmas, innocence or imagination in children.
FFS there is no right or wrong way in this one.