To sell Santa as a story

[Iwontdosanta]

That is to say, make it clear it isn't 'real' but to still have fun with it.

I prefer to think of its as suspending disbelief.
Try it sometimes - it's wonderful.

I do it all the time. (There’s a world in my head where brexshit isn’t happening, Stephen Hawking is still alive and cake has zero calories. Sadly doesn’t make it true though.)

The headteacher called in a parent like the OP because her kids were causing huge upset. The mother was so unpopular as a result.

What can we sell as truth in this world?
How far do you run with this.

Looking in the sky, convincing myself I could see the sleigh, hear the bells... It's more than lies and presents and Xmas really it was about hope

But they still do get excited, waking up to presents on Christmas morning, just from us, not Santa.

that headteacher would have short shrift from me mad

having children believe something is real when it's not then getting your knickers in a twist when other children are honest about it is weird

Saying Santa is real is lying. It isn't up to other people to support that lie.

What about tooth fairies and Easter bunnies? I always found it fascinating as a child, but then I was obviously very daft for not figuring out the basic physics 🙄

Out of interest op, how old are your dc?
In terms of the headteacher, I think most wouldn’t get involved. If they did, I would assume it wasn’t a different idea on beliefs but that their child had been very vocal and unkind.

3 and 1

Why bother with the mince pie and carrot 80sMum? Did you just say 'let's leave the mince pie out for the imaginary man that isn't coming and after you've gone to bed me and daddy will eat it'? I suppose if never lying was vitally important to you then not doing Santa is your choice but I thought that leaving the food etc out was part of the lying!

put simply, make believe is a shared fantasy, everyone knows it's not real, it is a game

We don’t say Santa is real. We don’t say the Gruffalo is real either but that doesn’t stop us looking for him in the forest where our DC know he isn’t real but their imaginations allow for the make believe ‘magic’.

It didn't fully dawn on me the extent to which my parents had gone to maintain the pretence for me as a six year old until my own daughter was around that age. I remembered the 'sooty' foot prints, the bells I'd heard and the handwritten note. That is a fond memory and while I know now it was make believe or 'a lie' - at the time it was so magical and I'm grateful to them for it. I don't think I still believed by the time I was 7, I was living vicariously through my 2 year old sister by then

I am incredibly grateful to my parents for creating the magic around Father Christmas - past of the imagination of a child and a magical Christmas!

pouty are you deliberately misunderstanding my posts? I get we can all suspend disbelief as adults but as a child there is something extra special if you believe it might actually be true.

My DS is 4 he firmly believes and is so excited that he will get to meet father Christmas this weekend. It's all he's talking about.....why would I want to ruin that? In a few years time when he doesn't believe will he hate us for that? I very much doubt it.

YANBU. I never taught Santa as truth, only a story. My DC did know that some children believed, the same as some believed in fairies or gods. I always said that it's fine to say you don't believe, but not to tell others it's not real or make fun of them. Just be respectful.

If a child really believes then they are not going to stop believing just because another child doesn't believe.

@pinkavocado the gruffalo isn't real 😮 but we've seen his den in the forest!

OP I think if you want to tell your kids Santa isn't real then good for you, but I just think your missing out on such a special time, and you can't untell them once it's out there.

YANBU and it's perfectly reasonable to enjoy Christmas and the Santa story as a story without lying about it being real.

But this is MN so most people will disagree because of their romanticist notion of the 'magic of childhood' or 'magic of Christmas' which past a certain age is far more about the parent's vicarious enjoyment (cf. 'should I tell my 11-year-old Santa isn't real?' threads).

Imaginary play is great fun but we don't need to tell children that what we're pretending is literally true in order for them to join in with it.

I stopped believing at 5 (very rational, ASD), and spied on my parents for definitive proof. When I told my mother this she insisted that if I didn't say I believed, I wouldn't get presents, and since I knew where the presents were really coming from? Yes, I lied too, and felt bewildered. Who was that 'magic' for? Not me.

you'd ruin it now blaa because you told him Santa was real in the first place

YANBU. Because it's your kid and your traditions and your Christmas. You can still have fun, excitement and magic.
You can introduce the story of St. Nicholas, the one who Santa is based on. You can use the same line as with religion "some people believe".
You can introduce the "being Santa" thing and little acts of kindness and giving to others.
You can have a dick on a brick.
You can do whatever the fuck you want and use your imagination just as much as the Santa followers.

I'm half sure DD mostly plays along rather than truly believe but it's fun for both of us, which is what counts.

Eh?? Anyway, each to their own just don't ruin it for others. That would be an incredibly unfair thing to do.

Santa - the only compulsory religion in the UK!

My DD can tell a Christian child that she doesn’t believe in God, but woe betide any child who “spoils” Santa. Don’t worry, my DD has never actually done this! I value my life too much.

I don’t think I ever believed, but I did (and still do) love Christmas, as do my DDs. The idea that Santa is the magic is rubbish in my view - for kids it is the presents, just like it is at birthdays.

just don't ruin it for others.

Does your child not have contact with people from other religions, or cultures that don't do Santa?

There's a huge difference in saying that people believe in different things and saying outright that Santa doesn't exist. It's all about how you approach it. As previous posters have suggested going down the 'different beliefs' route seems kindest. Tbh at just gone 4 DS is only just starting to get the whole Santa thing so we've not dealt with that yet.

And we live in a tiny village which isn't particularly diverse so while he's at pre-school I can't see it being an issue.

InDubiousBattle I still left a carrot and glass of milk out even though I knew he wasn’t real and my kids also do the same. It’s part of the ‘make believe’. Of course I don’t say lets leave these out, even though he’s not real, it’s part of the fun magical game! Like I said previously, we play lots of magical games. We hunt for fairies in the forest, we hide from goblins, we creep over bridges so we don’t wake up the trolls. My children love magical play and have fantastic imaginations.