"I think I think you are being unreasonable and irresponsible, frankly." Why?!? Here in Scotland 16 yr olds are pretty much considered adults. In England they almost are. Even legally they can consent to sex, get married, get a job inc army, live away from parents...
If you've a 16 yr old or older you think can't cope with being left alone overnight I'd question your parenting ability.
AdamNichol excellent post at 1521
"wouldn’t have my daughters bf over to stay at the age of 16 (just like I wasn’t allowed to) and I hope to god my DDhas enough self respect not to do it in the back of a corsa and that age!!" Wow! Do you even have a teenager? Or any experience with them outside of being one however long ago that was? This attitude has PROVEN to be MORE damaging to teens than a more open one. It's incredibly restrictive, naive and unrealistic in our society. Where exactly will she be having sex at 16? Because in all likelihood she WILL be having sex then, it's legal and everything! 22% of Irish teens lose their virginity by 15,
"Infantilising our kids is important you want them join in gangs?" Oh don't be so ridiculous! Well raised, mature, responsible teens are the LEAST likely to join gangs!
I left home at 17 as did bro, sis was 19 but she's gc. Ex joined army at 16 I think bro joined police at 17? If not certainly as soon as he was 18.
We're definitely expecting less of kids now, I'm shocked at the threads where kids can't cope with the bare basics of housework and cooking - as a parent our job is to turn them into capable adults! Not fail them by infantilising them!
"I just don’t understand the want to rush your children in growing up!!" What rush? If they can't be left alone for occasional overnights at 16 how the hell are they going to cope at 18 when they ARE adults and likely moving out or at least going to uni and moving out for that! If anything it'd be rushing things to have a 16 yr old who cannot cope being left alone overnight in just 2 YEARS becoming a completely competent independent adult!
"Those that haven't gradually been trusted are the ones that go absolutely wild at Uni." Yep well basically as soon as they do leave home and yes my life experience is also that stricter parents drive teens to leave earlier. They also tend to be the ones that can't cope handling their money, keeping on top of housework, cooking/eating well.
Sethis & notumbungounchained 😂😂😂
Out of the 7 girls that I knew from school that got pregnant before 18 not one came from a family where they could be open about sex, relationships, contraception etc. 4 had been withdrawn from sex ed classes for religious/moral reasons. They were all as a result of their parents approach vulnerable, ignorant regarding contraception & sti's and failed by their parents.
One was so scared (she had reason to be) she wouldn't tell her parents at home she had the school call them in and they were told in the heads office and half the school heard the reaction
3 were kicked out by their parents.
"What's got the usual idiots ragepissing is the idea that OP is having sex, not necessarily the DD" very true. Good old fashioned punishing mothers for DARING to have a love life with anyone but the child's father within certain parameters. Misogynistic tripe!
"I do wonder how people expect kids to cope when they leave home or go off to university, after they've been wrapped up in cotton wool and sheltered from everything in the world up until 18." Unfortunately I am increasingly seeing parents that don't care that their 18 year olds aren't capable adults at 18.
Certainly when I was at uni 15 years ago even I'd say about half, mainly the younger students, mainly those who'd gone to private schools too, were absolutely unprepared for the realities of living away from home and got themselves in all sorts of strife! From mixed wash accidents to homelessness & loan shark debt!
I was an SU rep so helped many of them sort out the various messes that they got themselves into. Sometimes this involved speaking to the parents and it was infuriating how they hadn't prepared their offspring but were quite happy to blame their kids, or even the uni for the messes they then ended up in! So they hadn't bothered actually parenting effectively and then expected others to pick up the pieces!
As a society we are not doing our kids any favours wrapping them in cotton wool and treating teens like primary age children!