Moving to LA leaving partner and children behind

[user1499173618]

An old friend has just told me she is moving to LA. Her partner and her two children (11 and 14) aren’t going with her. I find this really weird. AIBU?

TBH I suspect this does have to do with feminism in that my friend is fiercely financially independent and that this move will offer financial advantages. I still think it’s odd/sad that she feels it is necessary to make such a dramatic move vis-à-vis her children.

DH went to work abroad 10 years ago when DC were 14 and 17. But I did not travel and was there for the children. TBH there was more stress on out actual marriage than any effect on the children.
There may be trouble at school when they find out these kids are being left without parents and with a housekeeper for long periods. i.e.. if there are any issues at school it may come up.

This is such a sad thread and I am really shocked at the number of posters saying “good for her, fair play, why shouldn’t she”. It would be bad enough if the father was available to take on the role of 2 parents but he is not and on that basis alone it’s a bad move for the kids, never mind the strains on the marriage.
YANBU - people of either sex should not be abandoning their kids and especially not for something as piddling as a job. To the employer you are a number, to your kids you are the rock their whole world is built upon. If you are not that rock through choice, you have failed them. End of story.
PS. don’t think much of dads career choices either.

To eaches own. Personally I would put the kids into a decent boarding school at that age, far from ideal imho but better than being left with the housekeeper. Whatever works for them I suppose. I value my family more than money personally

If this was the father doing this no one would bat an eye lid. Is her job one where this would have always been the expectation/possibility

If it works for their family, then whats the issue?

How could it possibly be right for the children?

Um yes I would judge a man who did this in exactly the same way. It is monstrous! If you have children you need to be there for them. They are not some accessory or to be palmed off on the bloody housekeeper. Children require sacrifices and I would think it bloody selfish of any parent to bugger off to another country without their kids!

I'd have been heartbroken if my mum or dad had done this, but then we actually had a relationship. Nothing says 'I don't really love you' like moving across the Atlantic.