Does anyone NOT get financial help from parents these days?

[Milly848]

It seems everyone around me is getting money for house deposits or even full houses from their parents. These people are in their late 20s and 30s. I'm not sure if it's the area I live in, or if it's normal.

It makes me feel quite bad, as my parents haven't given me a penny since I was 18, let alone thousands for a deposit. I've had to save everything from the work I earn, and I'm on a relatively low wage. I thought this was the norm, but now I'm feeling it's the exception.

Is it possible these days to get by without financial help/inheritance?

I didn't, in terms of a house deposit etc, but my mum did buy us a washing machine when DH and I bought our first house.

My dad will occasionally chuck me £100 or buy me something for the house (he bought me some lovely patio furniture when we moved) just out of generosity but nothing like a house deposit or a car or anything. I don’t know anyone apart from one friend who’s parents have done that.

I haven’t had a penny from my mother since I was 16. In fact, when I got a weekend job at that age she started taking £200 a month off me for housekeeping. And then when I was really struggling in my early twenties she said that all prople were financially stable by that age and on the way to buying homes etc. Yeah—maybe when she was young. Christ alive. Way to make me feel like a failure mother 🙄

Really? Don't be so ridiculous, it's not difficult to understand.

@popcornwizard when you’ve been brought up with parents telling you for years and years they resent every penny they ever spent on you, when you are taught that it’s just the way things are that once you’re an adult that’s it you’re on your own, that they look forward to you being an adult so they don’t have to look you any more, it’s bloody hard to shake that off and see things done so differently!!

*look after you any more

Dh's parents helped us with a deposit so that we could buy our house.

My mum gives us cash on our birthdays (the kids and I) and Christmas, usually £100 each.
I don't think she knows how much we've struggled at times over the years, and how that £100 actually paid for a present, cake or a day out etc, or so that we couid have a birthday party.

I don't think it's the norm in our circle, but what is very common is that grandparents are providing FT childcare (not mine)
That in itself saves thousands, not to mention the convenience of it.

nope, never got a penny since I got a part time job (my choice!) at 14.

have bought 2 houses, own car etc since and am 23 now.

not the norm with my friends either, but we're not in a massively wealthy area so that probably has some effect.

Despite having well off and active parents, both DH and I have never had any financial help or physical help with our DC. If we want something we have to get it for ourselves, ask a friend to help or pay someone to babysit for us. In 14 years as a parent, my PIL have babysat for us twice and I wouldn't ask again as it went down like a lead balloon.

Now our parents are retired they all moan about us not including them in everything that we do. Thing is, DH and I don't feel that we owe them anything. I also no longer need a babysitter as my eldest is 14 going on 50 and I also have a network of close friends who would help me out at the drop of a hat if needed.

My parents have helped all of their children with food packages/contributions to first cars/occasionally covering a bill, because they are in a position financially that means it doesn’t impact them too much to do so. DP’s parents are the same, and actually still arrive once a month with toiletries and cleaning products to see us until their next visit. Mine feed us (and DB and DBIL) at least once a week, more if we’re round at theirs.

Both sets of parents also received help financially/with childcare from their parents so I think it’s maybe learned behaviour. My grandparents still arrive at my parents house with new towels/nice food/a bag of clothes(+receipts) my granny picked up and my parents are in their 50s and definitely don’t need the help anymore.

And yes, I suppose I am jealous. When I left to go to uni, it was very clear I wasn’t able to stay back at their house during holidays or anything.

We’ve never had anything. Like you, my parents didn’t help at all from 18- not even with Uni.

I would like to help my daughter out when the time comes though, so we have started saving for her and hope to have enough for first car/ house deposit and for her to do some travelling.

In some areas it may be possible but we have two adult daughters and we have helped them both with university, house deposits a wedding for one and childcare for DGDs. We received no help when buying property 30 years ago as my dad believed we should stand on our own two feet. My parents were then very upset when we moved out of London to south west when DH offered a transfer as houses cheaper. Since he died my mum has gifted significant amounts to us and we passed 50% on to our girls. Interest rates are so low and house prices so high why wouldn't parents pass on money they don't need?

Cash, no. But I wouldn't be surprised if the majority of people and certainly the majority of people buying houses have had some assistance if you count indirect help like living at home for less than private rent or childcare free/at less than they'd pay a provider.

Really? Don't be so ridiculous, it's not difficult to understand.

I spent a year feeding me and two children on £15 a week. My parents didn’t help me out. So yes, it is difficult to understand.

No. No such luck. Dh's parents are properly loaded and they can barely squeak out a limp Christmas card.

I’ve been very lucky (well not just luck parents worked hard and saved) that my parents have been generous. They also set up savings for their grandchildren which they will access when they come to move out.

It does seem to be increasingly normal for parents to help kids - i never got any help (my parents could have afforded to - but they believed we needed to make our ow way).

Not me, my parents had no money and I earn more than both of them out together now. What they did give me was a ton of love and their time. And a decent education. I’ll take that over money any day.

I'm late 40s and have had parental financial help throughout my life for various big things. My dad paid for/contributed to the house deposits for me, my sibling and several cousins. But he was very much about not getting into debt (whilst equally not liking lining landlords pockets) and financially helping his family. My DD will also benefit from my mum.

DH's parents are also pretty well off but they haven't really helped any of their DC or GDC.

But - due to distance/health/age we have no grandparental help at all with childcare etc. I would love DD to be able to have a stronger relationship with her GPs and I know if MIL was closer she would be a great help with DD and they would both love it, and it would also help us a lot (not looking forward to have to drag DD around car shopping, for example!). We would far rather have that than any financial help from her but as it is we have neither, which is a shame.

I've never had anything from mine, not DP from his. We are the only ones in our circle of friends in London who have bought a property without familial help - one friend was gifted £500,000 cash to buy a flat (and so was his brother!)

*nor DP from his

36 and have never had any financial help, have helped them out a few times financially (which we will never see again..) and live too far away for babysitting.

No. Nothing. Ever. I don't know why people are surprised.
No monetary help, ever, no help with childcare, because they don't live near. But we are very close and we speak at least weekly.
I'm surprised that parental help is becoming the norm.

I’m in my 20s and never received a penny! I left home at 16/17 and supported myself since.
I am lucky though, I bought my flat from a family member very cheaply.
I’d love to have money saved up for my children in future.

Me. Dad died when I was a teenager, step mother took all monies for herself, my mum drank anything she every earned away or spent it in catalogues, running up huge debt.

I'm 24. My parents have been emotionally helpful for my entire life and will continue to be. But I am about to move into my second home with 5 bedrooms in a London Suburb. I invested well in a small place with all the deposit I could save. No inheritance, just my salary from once I left Uni, with my partner who earns the same as me.

Work hard and you do get there. I would never have children anytime soon though as they are a financial drain (as well as being the lightof your life obv)