Does anyone NOT get financial help from parents these days?

[Milly848]

It seems everyone around me is getting money for house deposits or even full houses from their parents. These people are in their late 20s and 30s. I'm not sure if it's the area I live in, or if it's normal.

It makes me feel quite bad, as my parents haven't given me a penny since I was 18, let alone thousands for a deposit. I've had to save everything from the work I earn, and I'm on a relatively low wage. I thought this was the norm, but now I'm feeling it's the exception.

Is it possible these days to get by without financial help/inheritance?

Me and DH haven't had a penny, me since I was 16 and left home and him since he started working at 18.

Our siblings get considerable help but this is unaffordable for our parents and usually gets them into debt, we help sometimes too.

A good friend of mine regularly gets holidays paid for, new cars (and driving lessons and insurance paid), help to pay off her overdraft etc. These things have helped her save a house purchase deposit.

I can't lie and say I'm not jealous, I am. She doesn't flaunt it but she mentions when her parents help her with something. Why shouldn't they, she's their only child and they can afford to make her life easier.

It makes us feel crap to have no savings but we have no debts either.

I hope we are in a good position to help ds when he's older.

My mother wouldn't give me the dirt under her finger nails. So I've never expected any help (not just financial).
I'm pleased I have been self sufficient all my life.

I think it becomes a problem when it's done in away that prevents the person from learning how to be financially responsible. I may not of paid rent but there was the expectation that I put money in savings and not just spend on tat.

No my mum was a single parent to 6 so definitely not. its obviously just your circle.

Not a penny. In fact we've been financially supporting both sets of parents who have always been poor, with badly-paid unskilled manual jobs, now on state pensions and in poor health, in a country where GP visits cost money, even for most pensioners since our first jobs. Luckily, we were at university in our home country and were entitled to maintenance grants as well as fees.

I was quite well supported by my parents until I got married when I was 20. If we met up they would probably pay for dinner but they certainly dont support us financially

I wonder whether it's often connected to how old your parents were when they had children?
Mine were very young and I never had anything from them, in fact they relied on my rent when I was 16 and working. DH also never had help of any kind.

On the other hand DH and I were very much older parents (39 and 47) and we though we only had moderate careers we had saved a lot and had a solid financial base well before we had children. We are now retired and plan on giving DC (20 and 22) help with a house deposit. We have also taught both of our DC financial management and they are savers rather than spenders.

“Instead, they let my OH and I stay at theirs rent free for 6 months to save up for a deposit ourselves. We got there in the end and I'm actually really proud that we can say we did it ourselves. I know others are in luckier situations and if I was gifted money for a house I know I wouldn't refuse it!”

I’m sorry but that is a huge financial help that your parents very kindly afforded you - there is absolutely nothing wrong with it but I think you should recognise your privilege to be allowed that. Not having a go but I think it’s a bit disingenuous to say you did it yourselves when you had 6 months rent free IYSWIM.

The only thing we had from either side over the years was the odd amount from in-laws, £100 and £500 I think when they wanted to give all their DC a little boost/treat.

I've got a friend and she's always getting handouts from family because they think she's hard up and they're really not!. These have paid for double glazing, new boiler and even a small extension. It doesn't seem fair, but the only thing is you know what you have is through your own hard work and you don't owe anyone anything in the future if the cards turn and they need financial help.

Well it depends what you mean by help. My dad lent us some money towards our house deposit, but we’ve paid him back in full. We would have been able to do it without the help but it would have meant another year of saving and our landlord was selling the place we rented and there was nothing else suitable around.
Other than that, no ‘help’. We don’t need it.

I went to university back the 1980s so no fees and I had a full grant due to low parental income. I worked in the holidays and my parents did not charge me any rent so they did support, albeit not with large cash sums or house deposits.
It's not the norm in my social circle to have received large cash deposits from parents. My son will not be receiving one either! We are supporting him through university and he has about 20K of money he has received from family and friends over the past 18 years. We have lived overseas for years so he always received cash instead of presents - hence the decent amount in savings.

Some people do and some don't.
I am EXTREMELY lucky in that I was given a significant amount for a house deposit from my parents, they also paid for my wedding reception and do 2 days a week free childcare. They pay for holidays occasionally etc etc.
They are not super rich but both had decent public service jobs with great pensions (that don't exist any more) and my Dad retired at 50 and my mum at 55 with huge lump sums.
They're currently helping my younger sister in the same way.

My DH on the other hand has never had a penny from his parents. They are not in the same position as mine are.

Also we help my mum out with her mortgage, she works full time in a minimum wage job and is mortgaged until she’s 70 so we help her overpay to get it paid sooner.

We didn’t have help late 30’s/early 40’s here and none of my immediate friends have either. However my oh’s parents are quite well off and are currently creating trusts for our children which I am so so grateful for! University and house deposit worries will be something they won’t have thank god!!

DH (and his brother) have never had anything from their parents. Their sister on the other hand has her rent, agency fees etc paid for.

I have been very fortunate and have had a bit of help. The majority of mine has come from inheritance though, from my grandad.

Our families range between a bit well off to rich who believe in being generous to the generations below. We both inherited from grandparents and have monetary gifts of a few thousand every year from the generation directly above. I know several people who had huge house deposits/houses bought for them.
We're both over 50 don't need the money, never asked for a penny and are financially savvy and secure anyway but it means we can help the next generation with a house deposit etc.
Actually having money and being around people with money has helped me understand financial stuff from an early age.

Middle class people prioritise their children getting on, lucky they can afford to live in good school catchment or lie about their religion, then help kids go to uni and a foot on housing ladder. These same kids get government help to buy, or can save in a preferential rate isa with bonus.
Ordinary folk don't have so much to spare even if they would like, and sometimes not so pushy, but may give practical help and be closer, geographically and emotionally.
If your parents can't help it's one thing, if they could but don't that's different.

Oh and PIL’s paid for a flat outright for SIL (she lives abroad, it was about £70k) but told us outright that she needed it more than us and there was nothing left for us .

My mum gave me £3k towards helping to buy my house. Of course I appreciated it, but I wasn't expecting it and could have still managed to buy using a smaller deposit.

No no financial help from either side. We gave money to very elderly relative for a few years to top up their care package. I know a number of people who have retired early because of family help. Won't get any inheritance either.

Never had much. My dad did pay for driving lessons back in 10-dickety-6 and gave me £400 while I was at uni and later on gave my brother and I a £500 car to share. My brother smashed it up and ended up selling it to a fish delivery man for £50.

I own my own home plus funding a degree (almost twice now). I think I have given more to my parents to help them than had from them.

We’ve been lucky to have a bit, a grand towards our wedding, a chunk of inheritance that paid our stamp duty and let us get on the ladder a year earlier had we had to keep saving ourselves.

I have a great work ethic and appreciate the value of things as I’ve worked since I was 13, paid my own way through uni etc.

A friend was gobsmacked that my parents hadn’t saved for my wedding since I was born and didn’t understand that they were scraping by and no way could do that. Other friends bought a London flat straight out of uni and have therefore done very well for themselves out of it. It’s luck of the draw and also self perpetuating.

Other than a small inheritance when my dad died, which did contribute to our deposit (but we already had most of a deposit saved) we have had no other parental help, even for childcare etc. And in all honesty I’d rather have my dad still with us than a house.

My parents helped with living costs at Uni in the early 90s, paid £3k for my wedding late nineties (would’ve preferred the cash towards a house but it was a lovely wedding), and helped with childcare which had saved us £££. The house was all our own work.

I do get envious of those who get financial help. My parents would help if they could, but they are both on a basic state pension. Overall given about £20k to elderly relative to help them out. We have below the average household income in this country, so not well off. Don't get practical help either. One set of family live in an area with little work, so no point living there. Another set of family live in an area where rents are very high, so we can't afford to live there.
Basically since leaving home at 18, both DP and I have had no practical or financial help, but have had some emotional support.