Insufferably selfish things your OH does...

[Munchkingoat]

Whenever my exh used to pick up a Chinese takeaway he would eat ALL the prawn crackers on the way home from picking it up. This used to drive me insane as I could never fathom how anyone could do so selfish when he knew I loved them and he would NEVER get two lots no matter how often I asked. Utter nob.

I was thinking about this whilst driving home yesterday and it still gives me the rage 12 years after divorcing him!

2 things really upset me:
One of my parents died suddenly and unexpectedly, and a coroner's inquest was necessary. I was devastated. On the day of the inquest, OH knew I would get a phone call that evening to learn the outcome. Instead of coming straight home from work to help look after our young DC while I took that difficult call, he chose to do a personal training session at the gym.
Secondly, I'd baked a batch of cakes for a school fundraiser and OH was supposed to take these in. He forgot, and when I asked what had happened to the cakes he told me he'd taken them into work and eaten them.

OutPinked - If I were you I'd gather up everything he leaves hanging around, including the teabags, and throw it all into a black bag together. He can sort it out at his own convenience, and it's not lying around bothering you.

Why do those of you with shit partners put up with it, and why have more than one child with a selfish bastard? I don’t get it at all, if he won’t help with one child, why have more children? Some of these stories are mind blowing and congratulations to the women who got away.

A lot of these examples resonate with me, and they remind me of many of the reasons why I got rid of useless exH. Whyever did I stay with him as long as I did?

notagoodname I'd echo pp here. You don't own your own home - are you on any paperwork for it? Your car... You might insure and tax it, but it sounds like he owns it too. If you split you'll find yourself homeless and without a car immediately. You say you are moving abroad - make sure you have equal rights of ownership/tenancy of anything you get when you arrive. You are in a very vulnerable position here.

@ACatsNoHelpWithThat I see where you’re coming from, like I said I’ve offered I pay for/do the food shop, and just hired a cleaner starting Monday which I pay for.
His excuses both times were that he was tired and he is out the house from 7-5, then works on the house when he gets in so I see why he was tired but it was weird behaviour given the situations

If I find underpants on the floor, I put them straight in the bin! Easiest way to deal with it.

Mine had form for having no money...
He earnt a lot, but always broke, as Always treating himself to computers.
A friend came for a visit, he says go yo the pub will join you in an hour... Yes he was always late anywhere...
So I made my friend leave her purse home and only took £20 with me... We spent 3 hours waiting for him to walk 10 mins to the pub... We had a great time and spent our £20.
In he walks so who is buying me this drink he says. We laughed and said you are we only have £2 left, and we ordered crisps with it... He was hopping as he had to pay out all evening on drinks for a change.

So many but I always remember this one as posted about it and MNetters were stunned. Liverpool got through to the semi finals and if they got through to the final they'd play the UEFA champions league final in Moscow. Ex H told me quite categorically that if they got through he'd be going to watch them there. We were really skint at the time because of him and because it was last minute it would cost literally £1000's for him to go and it would all be debt as we just didn't have the money for him to do it. We certainly couldn't afford a family holiday either. He said to me "I am going and you will not stop me, if I had known you were this kind of woman, I never would have married you" . I said it you do this then we are finished and he said "fine". They didn't get through so he didn't go and we limped on for a few more years but that was the beginning of the end.

@honeysucklejasmine we’ve agreed once I’m qualified and get a better job I’ll contribute evenly and my name will go on. I’m don’t earn a lot at all at the min. Car is in my name too

just want to add work full time just on min wage

just wow I'm so glad I'm single some of these things are shocking how did any of you not kill your OH or at least make them pay for doing such things shows how good you are cos if it was me man would they suffer for utter selfishness! LOL :)

@notagoodname sorry I wasn't trying to imply you were some female cocklodger equivalent, just that some partners like to play the Big I Am whilst simultaneously begrudging doing so and making you "pay" in other ways if that makes sense. My ex was like that, at first it made me fell loved and cared for until I realised he was just controlling and didn't see me as his equal. Your situation rang some alarm bells for me.

TheExamStartsNow urgh why oh why do we put with this!!! Doesn't even occur to them does it?!!

He's not selfish in general but this incident bothered me and is still eating at me.

We both joined a gym, both have lost weight and toned up.

We were going out to an event last weekend and I wore something I would never have had the confidence to wear before.

I put my make up and clothes on and at least expected him to say I looked nice. Instead he stood looking at himself in the mirror, trying on shirt after shirt - turning this way and that....

It wasn't until I went to the kitchen and my teenaged son said 'wow mum, you look great! that he finally said he liked the top I had on.

I had told him before that that he looked great , could really notice his weight loss etc so he had ample opportunity to pay me a compliment back.

All sound very good reasons to not be with them

CoolCarrie

I agree. I notice many of the posts here are talking about the ex, but if not then why put up with it?

I wouldn't have a relationship with a selfish man.

@Chapterandverse

The silver lining there is that you got to see that you've raised your son to notice these things and be nice!

Pray tell me how humans still exist? Co-habiting with men sooo should have gone out with the last century 😅

My ex is an alcoholic. I had an operation that required an overnight stay but a months recovery time. He did not come to see me and expected me to get out of the taxi and fetch him cans of beer on my way home!

I can’t think of one single selfish thing my dh has done in 30 years.

I'm not sure if this thread was meant to be lighthearted but I feel desperately sad for those of you putting up with some of this stuff. I'm not saying my DH is an angel but he'd never dream of pulling this kind of crap. :(

Remembered another selfish as fuck example of a horrible ex.
I was in hospital receiving treatment for anorexia, I had an NG tube in and hadn't been able to eat for 3 and a half weeks due to me suffering with refeeding syndrome (which is extremely dangerous and can kill you if not monitored correctly) my ex used to send me photos of his tea at home, or doughnuts he had bought, Chinese takeaways etc and with the caption "how jealous are you right now?". I really really hated him for that it was mental torture of the worst kind especially given the fact I couldn't have eaten even if I wanted to.
I ended it and I never got back with him after I left hospital despite his grovelling and begging. I just couldn't be with someone that clearly didn't understand what I was going through.

Wow. Some of these are awful.

The one thing my Dh does which I hate is, mess about on his iPad in bed even though I'm trying to sleep. Sometimes the light disturbs me and when I ask him to switch it off he moans.

Whistling and singing in the shower when he has to leave for work at 6 in the morning and I could really do with a couple more hours sleep.