Being banned from the mitchen

[Elphie54]

(Light hearted in case it isnt obvious):

After nearly successfully burning down the kitchen, my other half has told me I am no longer allowed in the kitchen without adult supervision (he is obviously joking). My horrible crime that led to that? I accidentally put something in the microwave for 13 minutes instead of 1:30 minutes. Around minute 7, I smelled something burning and thought the neighbors were burning food, to look over and realize there was smoke coming from the kitchen. Yikes! Thankfully there were no flames.

Help me feel a bit better about myself? What are some of your worst kitchen disasters?

Oh geez-kitchen not michen lol.

My mum once exploded eggs, all over the kitchen.

She had put them on to hardboil for painting and rolling the next day (Easter Sunday), sat down and got engrossed in a film. They boiled dry... kaboom.

It was messy.

In a desperate attempt to ‘tidy up’, I once shoved a pile of dirty washing up in the oven Of course I then forgot I’d done it, put the oven on to pre-heat and was suddenly greeted with the smell of melting chopping board.

Many years ago I went to make some microwave popcorn for me and my 2 year old. The perfect cook time was 3:33. I accidently punched in 33:33. By the time I discovered the mistake the popcorn was on fire and the smoke was unbelievable.

Shit happens.

I was making caramel by boiling a tin of condensed milk in a pan of water. I got distracted and let it boil dry. The resulting explosion spattered hot caramel over the entire kitchen, including the ceiling.

When I was around 8 or so, I thought I would be helpful and run the dishwasher for my mom. No one had ever told me dishwasher soap and dish soap were two different things, so I put in regular dish soap and went to go watch TV. About 10 minutes later, our golden retriever emerges from the kitchen covered in bubbles. I was like wtf?!? Go in the kitchen and there is a layer of bubbles covering the entire kitchen floor. Thankfully my mom thought it was hilarious and still makes fun of me to this day about it.

Oh bless. I like the 'mitchen' by the way, was intrigued by that :-).

DP has done similar with a microwave cheeseburger (yuck!), but before I met him. My mum burned a pan with stuffed courgettes (so fairly saucy) to the extent the pan got binned as well.

I had a friend at uni who put a frozen pizza in the oven - on its polystyrene tray...

@PBobs

i know someone who did this at uni too - molten polystyrene dripping from her frozen veggie pizza base

My DD was very small - maybe 3 or 4 - and woke up earlier than usual one morning. Instead of coming to get me she went downstairs, got herself a glass of milk, and decided she wanted just ONE BITE of a hotdog. So, she opened up the hotdogs, broke off a piece maybe an inch and a half long, and set that bad boy in the microwave for thirty MINUTES instead of seconds.

Did you know that flaming hotdogs smell a bit like coffee?

...banned from the kitchen you say...

My friend had an incident with a pressure cooker and some pumpkin...

Our old washing machine had twin inlets, hot and cold. My grandad then gifted us his almost new washer as he was moving into a residential care home. DH and my dad said that they had plumbed it in and went to continue shifting my grandads stuff.

What they hadnt done was turn the feed taps on behind the washer, so I did it and put the new machine on. About half an hour later I heard DD (now 17 but then about 3) saying "SPLASH!! SPLASH!!" and it occured to me that I could hear actual splashing.

The new washer had only a cold inlet, the kitchen floor and half the lounge floor was under water and the laminate flooring we had put down was ruined.

To this day, neither man accepts responsibility for this, it was all on me as apparently I should have known, without being told, that there was only one hose connected to the washer. I should add that every single washer I had owned until that point had been dual feed!

I dropped a lasagne fresh out of the oven. Thankfully not on my foot but the Pyrex dish smashed, it cracked one of the kitchen tiles and we had molten cheese and tomato sauce fetchingly decorating the kitchen units. No fun to clean up!

Oh and in my further defence, there is a MASSIVE hidden area behind the washer because of the frankly fucked up design of this house, so whilst in a normal house it would have pissed out immediately, giving me wet knees, it doesnt here!

I have also done the thing of boiling up bones and veggies to make a lovely stock and watched as I saved the crap in the colander and poured the whole lovingly simmered-for-hours liquid straight down the plug hole...... I almost cried.

When i was a teenager I put a Fray Bentos is pie in the oven in its tin without removing the lid.
It blew up like a balloon and so I carefully carried it outside to cool where it burnt a lovely circle in my dad's perfect lawn. It was brown for ages , He wasn't thrilled but if it had exploded in the oven or whilst I was carrying it I dread to think what would've happened !

I carefully carried it outside to cool where it burnt a lovely circle in my dad's perfect lawn

Good God, it could've killed you!

I'm a bit of a crap cook in general. However, I was making a sauce in the blender last week using a new blender and managed managed to drop it all...

Well, I'm a decent cook, and I've done that. 30 minutes instead of 30 seconds. No damage (other than to the food ), but a lot of cleaning up.

And then there was the time that I set the microwave to cook for 3.5 minutes and pressed START. Which was fine, except that the food was still on the counter next to the microwave. That was an expensive mistake. Had to replace the microwave. Still not messy, though.

A couple of years ago I tripped over my own feet while carrying a bowl of sieved icing sugar across the kitchen. I backed carefully out of the kitchen and shut the door. That one was messy.

I realise that now Pyong but I was a 17 yr old indestructible teenager at the time !

I went on holiday for two weeks leaving an open but more or less full bottle of fresh orange juice. Whilst away it had gone off and exploded in the fridge, it didn't blow the door off, but was a complete mess!

I once dropped a mushroom Wellington.

“banned from the kitchen you say...“

Lol!!

“And then there was the time that I set the microwave to cook for 3.5 minutes and pressed START. Which was fine, except that the food was still on the counter next to the microwave. That was an expensive mistake. Had to replace the microwave. Still not messy, though.”

Oh geez. I could totally see me doing that.

Right after my daughter was born, I still had “pregnancy brain”. Dp came into the kitchen to find me opening a can of peas with a can opener, which doesn’t seem all that odd....... until he pointed out it had a pull tab.

I also managed to put the container of powdered formula in the fridge, and the bottles of fresh made formula in the cabinet. Thankfully I realized it and quickly swapped.

I like the 'mitchen' too. It sounds like a place where unfortunate things might occur, just like what happened to you. Be glad you're banned if it's a 'mitchen day', a PMS day for instance when everything disintegrates as you touch it. Mitchens are the way ahead.