Friend let me down again

[Mumspet42]

I have a long time friend, she’s in her mid twenties and is a really nice person but she has cancelled on me today for the third time in a row. She has migraines and had yet another one today which has annoyed me , I probably am being unreasonable but she won’t help herself. She’s been to couple of doctors (gp) and I think a clinic and has some pills but she could do more surely.

She says when she has one she has to lie down and can’t eben talk on the phone, I work very long hours and wish I had entire days to just go to bed! That sounds harsh but I know her meds work a lot of the time and she is just ‘recovering’ from them as they apparently make her feel bad. But I think sometimes we need to get out, fresh air is good for us and much better than being in a dark room breathing the same air for hours. Plus I think a distraction would help too. I just think we need to help ourselves sometimes, my brother had panic attacks for years but gradually started facing his fears and they did get better!

Am I cold in my attitude? I just find it such a waste of time! Plus it’s not nice being cancelled on several times in a row.

Realisation you were wrong and apologising for it does NOT a shit friend make, Mumspet42.

Also, you took the heat on this thread realised you were unaware of the impact of migraines and apologised, again, that's not the attitude of a crappy person.

I am sure you will understand and support your friend in the future and I am equally sure that she knows this too.

I suffered from migraines starting in my 20s. I had a hemipleagic migraine in my 30s while driving the car. I was able to pull over and after drifting in and out of consciousness for half an hour or so, I was finally able to call myself an ambulance. I had recovered a good deal by the time they found me (a very remote location), but I was unwell for another week after it. I had no triggers that we could find. Because of the hemipleagic migraine, there were certain migraine medications that I could not take, as they could bring another one on, and I never, ever want to experience that again. I thought I was having a stroke, and given that my dad's sister had a stroke at 26, it was a perfectly plausible fear.

I have been lucky, because I did develop high blood pressure (literally, I could have stroked out at any minute) and once that was under control, my migraines have by and large gone. However, when I developed the migraines, my BP was perfect. I now follow my GP's advice that whenever I get the least hint of a migraine, I take a painkiller. My first sign of a migraine is often a stiff neck. I used to think I had been lying wrongly in bed, then learned that is a symptom, so am very aware of that now. I have spent hours lying in a darkened room trying to sleep one off, or had the unutterable horror of both vomiting and diahorrea at the same time.

Thanks for understanding OP.

I've had migraines for 24 years and have tried every solution going. Multiple different meds that often stopped working after a few months.

2 years ago I was lucky enough to find an expert who consults reasonably near me (thanks google) and he has been brilliant.

Unfortunately my 7 year old was diagnosed with them this year and I feel so sorry for him. He's on meds not recommended for under 12s.... but they managed to reduce from daily to monthly migraines

I think this is a bit of a mn first.
Op- I’m not being unreasonable
Mn- yeah you are
Op- oh fuck yeah I am. I’ll fix this instead of flouncing off or getting the thread pulled.

Well done op your a very good friend.

You sound a brilliant friend, actually, as has been said. If only everyone had such a reliable and reasonable person in their lives. You can't know about something you've never experienced - you asked, listened, and then took it on board. And that in the face of some fairly harsh commentary as well - hard to do. Honestly, you sound great.