Moral Dilemma - to sell this and pocket the cash?

[PersonaNonGarter]

I have a moral dilemma.

A Sponging Relative (‘SR’) has run up so much debt that he has finally been evicted from his property and is likely to be made bankrupt shortly. He is also a massive hoarder. Recently, my aunt went to visit SR and suggested he part with some toys rather than pack them before eviction. The toys were given to my DC.

The toys turn out to be worth a lot of money and I will sell them rather than have them take up space - DC aren’t going to play with them. Should I :

1. Pocket the cash and give it to my DC on some way like a holiday
2. Give it to the very skint SR
3. Give the cash to some of the people SR has sponged off.

He doesn’t sponge off me although he has tried. In law, I know they were a gift and are mine/DCs. But morally...?

Must also say I don't see a world of difference between him staying in a nicer hotel briefly and your family going on holiday.

The OP deserves a family holiday because she's taking one for the team by secretly selling the toys behind hoarder auntie's back. She can't give them back because an extra box of toys in an already full house will push the aunt over the edge. And the SR isn't entitled to the money because he's a dick. But then his creditors shouldn't get the money either because reasons. So there really is no other solution. This is the only way.

Superbly summed up by Omunye

@Omunye , @ConcreteUnderpants
Sadly, the law disagrees with you about the creditors - if there is a bankruptcy. Therefore however nice your idea sounds, if the Official Receiver decides that the "gift" should be overturned, the OP will have to pay up and the bankruptcy estate is entitled to that money, to be used in accordance with the law. No "reasons" are sufficient to overturn law which has been settled for many years.

Show us the toys!

Wooman has it in one. You sound vile. And judgmental. Your relative sounds like they have significant mental health issues.

Some people have got quite hung up on my aunt, which I don’t really understand. She never bought or owned these toys - she transported them because she too is a hoarder.
If you have nothing to hide or fear, tell her what you are doing. Your continued failure to address this point that many posters have raised, says a lot about you. Instead you post self-justification after self-justification and say things like she’ll never know.
Also, if the toys were in with other stuff then it’s possible that SR may not know they are missing or you have them. This would be wrong of both you and your aunt.
Be open, upfront. You have nothing to worry about if your intentions truly are honest.

You sound vile

Don’t be ridiculous. I got a gift. I am now wondering what to do with it.

And judgemental I am this for sure.

Beg, borrow and lie; cheat and spend friends’ money; run up horrendous debts and disregard the enormous amount of time and kindness others have given to help ... these things, I judge.

This thread isn’t about him though is it OP. It’s about you and a decision you’re trying to make. Is this thread helping ? Because it seems mostly to have entrenched you in the position which you wanted us to validate in the first place. Getting fighty about it isn’t going to help particularly.

@PersonaNonGarter How long have you had the toys?

Beg, borrow and lie; cheat and spend friends’ money; run up horrendous debts and disregard the enormous amount of time and kindness others have given to help ... these things, I judge.

When are you going to get it into your head that this ISN’T RELEVANT? You can dislike or disapprove of your relative as much as you like. You can judge him nine ways until Sunday from a personal point of view. But you are ignoring a simple truth - no one on the verge of bankruptcy gives away assets worth circa £2k.

Your story doesn’t add up. If you know your aunt is a hoarder and would expect you to store them, why take the toys in the first place? Why not use the simple two-letter word ‘No’? You were perfectly happy to have them when you thought it was all old tat. Now you know the toys are valuable, suddenly it would be enabling your aunt’s hoarding to give them back. You couldn’t possibly tell her they’re worth two grand. Selling them would cost a huge amount of money and take more time than it took to build Rome. You couldn’t possibly just do this and take your costs, as I and several others have suggested.

If you’re convinced these toys are yours fair and square, sell them and go on holiday. But don’t pretend you’re somehow redressing the balance after your relative sponged off others.

The toys are a gift. They are yours now. Sell them if you want to. I can see no reason why you should tell anybody what you've done with your property. I would spend the money taking the kids away for a super holiday. Or whatever the proceeds will pay for. 🙂

@hidingmystatus - I think @Omunye was being tongue-in-cheek

I would spend the money taking the kids away for a super holiday.

Oh yeah - nothing says ‘super holiday’ like the knowledge that your relatives are out of pocket and you spent the money that could have changed that.

Fair enough, but when the post is cited approvingly apparently seriously, and several PPs don't seem to understand very clear law IF there is bankruptcy, I was clarifying.

If the OP sells these toys and keeps the money, they are at risk of the Official Receiver claiming that money. In the circumstances outlined, the SR has committed a bankruptcy offence if the SF is made bankrupt. That's not the OP's fault, but the consequences will fall on them. My earlier posts about contacting the Official Receiver stand.

@hiding - Judging by the , I think the subsequent poster also understood the sarcasm...

Roughly how much money are the toys worth, OP? Are we talking £200? £2000? Keep in mind Ebay or auction sites take 10%+.

I have had the toys about 6 weeks. Received as part of an off load of various stuff. I didn’t investigate or give the toys much thought until I was shifting them around yesterday and looked them up on eBay.

I have been a bit conservative in my estimate of 700-2000, it might be more as they are neatly in boxes etc. I would sell them through an auction house which would be more costly but less effort on my behalf.

Hang on to them op. By discussing it with your aunt or SR you just invite trouble into your life. Keep them for a while and then see how his bankruptcy actually plays out and how he ends up. You might end up deciding he needs the money. You might decide to sell them and put the money away for your dc. Where is he going to live?

I don't think you gain anything by selling them right this minute. £2000 isn't going to pay back £100k of debt.

Oh my lord show us the toys

They were a gift. You dont want them. Sell them and buy things you do want. Simples!

Should have added..... don't tell anyone

Sell it and give the money to your aunt. The landlord will have insurance.

Have t read all the thread (which I suspect might be a mistake😂) I’d go for option 3 but I’d retain selling costs. If you are worried about your kids missing out on some toys then you could buy them a gift with a little of the money but I think that would be a bit grabby.

You won’t be any worse off and the creditors will be a little better off. Seems like a no brainer. It would feel wrong to profit from someone else’s ignorance about how much the toys are worth.

I have been a bit conservative in my estimate of 700-2000, it might be more as they are neatly in boxes etc.

I said as much yesterday, OP depending on the toys you could be in possession of quite a serious amount of money, toy collectors have deep pockets. I'm sure if the Aunt had given you 5-10k you wouldn't have accepted it, especially considering the bankruptcy situation.

Toys can be difficult to value, especially vintage ones (especially if unused in box) as they're hard to come by. So potentially the 2k valuation may even be on the lower side.

All the advice you have been given about the ramifications of bankruptcy in these circumstances is incorrect. (I have expertise in this area, before anyone tries to shoot me down)

Sell the damn toys, keep the money. Job done. They were given to you, they belong to you.

I'd sell the toys, keep the money and keep quiet about it.