AIBU to expect people not to buy cheap knock offs for Christmas?

[TealTurnip]

My family has always done a Christmas wish list. We find it takes the pressure off if you have no idea what to get someone, and mostly avoids unwanted gifts that end up being Ebayed.

SIL and MIL have repeatedly told DH they’ve found a replica of an item on my wish list. For example a £5 Chinese knock off of a keyring that costs £20. Or a £10 candle that looks similar to a £30 candle. Or a £2 bar of chocolate that’s the same flavour as a £6 bar of chocolate.

It isn’t a money issue. We all have a gift budget of £40 for adults and £60 for kids (to avoid awkwardness because some people can’t afford to spend as much). DH reckons they just think they can get more gifts for the same money and don’t realise/care that it’s not the same.

I’m getting narked now though. I’ve just bought DNephew some branded toys from his wish list and now found out that SIL has bought DS a train set from Aldi that’s “a quarter of the price but exactly the same” as the Brio train set on his wish list.

I’m prepared to be told IABU and should be grateful for any gift, but I feel like I’m buying them all the good stuff they’ve suggested on their wish lists and not really getting anything worthwhile in exchange.

YANBU.

I'd have to say something. Or get DH to, if its his family.

Maybe in future buy the gifts yourself then give them to the ILs to wrap?

YANBU in general.

However DD was a wooden railway expert and Brio ranked badly compared to others, Aldi was good, as was BigJigs so the gift your SIL has got isn’t necessarily bad quality.

Will they buy additional items up to the budget?

I think the aldi train will be compatible with the brio and presumably DS is 1-3 years old and won't notice?

However I get it - cheap £2 chocolate will taste crap and is money wasted. Not sure It's worth getting worked up over. It's probably not personal. Some people have an obsession with getting a "deal" even when what they end up with is poor quality and represents worse value. I'd much rather one quality item than 5 knock offs but other people are different. Perhaps ask for something that can't be replicated (e.g. a specific book or gift voucher for a hair salon), buy them something similar in return or just suck it up. Don't let it ruin christmas or take up too much of your attention.

Hi I completely agree with you. My mother in law is pretty much like this,or has been in the past. Like you say if it's not something that is over the budget then why not get what has been asked. Don't just buy cheaper tat to make it look like you have been given more. Like you say if you ask for a particular brand,type etc then it's because that's the one you want. Especially when I would buy them what they ask for but then the same effort isn't done for me. YADNBU ☺️

£40 for adults and £60 for kids. ? I’m agog. You must spend a fortune.

Yes they will buy additional items up to the budget. But they’re wasting their money - they’d be better off buying one genuine item instead of three cheap replicas that get Ebayed or charity shopped.

It just seems unfair. DNephew asked for Lego so I got Lego. Not a cheap replica of Lego plus another gift to make up the budget. SIL’s wish list had a Pandora ring so I bought that. She wouldn’t wear it if it was a knock off. I’m hoping DS will be polite and not point out that the Aldi train set isn’t the one he wanted with the farm animals. DH has said he’ll buy him the farm train and give him it when SIL has gone home, otherwise he’ll be gutted.

Also I was confused by the figures you gave surely you don't spend £40 on each adult and £60 on each child from each family? If so I think that's the issue. It's an insane amount. Nobody needs an influx of that much stuff in one go at christmas even if it's off a gift list. No wonder you're
so invested if that's the case!

Hate to say I have to disagree re Brio being the poor version with the exception of BigJigs, we have a variety and the Brio is by far the best and easiest to put together, cheap wilko/tesco ones are not finished as well and hence don't slot in and out as nicely.

Aldi wooden toys are good quality though, we don't have railway but do have others.

Agree - I have an IL's who ask for lists and buy nothing off them and make it up!

Hate to say I have to disagree re Brio being the poor version with the exception of BigJigs, we have a variety and the Brio is by far the best and easiest to put together, cheap wilko/tesco ones are not finished as well and hence don't slot in and out as nicely

Interesting. We still have our wooden railway, Brio has definitely lasted least well (and DD is a very careful child). Absolute worst was Ikea with plastic fixings, but we soon stopped bother with Brio apart from the official Thomas trains!

Sorry OP, totally off point

If a person puts supermarket train sets or Wilko building bricks on EBay just because they’re not branded, then they are the problem- not the buyer.

Big jigs and Thomas are definitely he best track

YANBU. I wouldn't mind, but SIL
asks for a gift list every year. Then goes and buys a cheaper version of the things on the list.

Either buy something of your choosing not on the list or the thing on the list. My amazon list has the lovely cloth or leather bound copies of classic books. She buys a paperback copy. I'm trying to build a beautiful collection of my favourite books.

£40 for adults and £60 for kids. ? I’m agog. You must spend a fortune
The budget was suggested by me because they were spending loads and I couldn’t keep up. I’ve tried to negotiate the figure down and that’s as low as they would go. The rest have more money than us and feel that “not buying enough” would spoil Christmas. DH’s attitude is that he can’t persuade them to spend less and would feel crap if we gave less than we received. We probably spend about £400 total on family gifts. And in exchange we mostly get £400 worth of “similar” versions of stuff we’d like, which ends up in the charity shop.

I’m hoping DS will be polite and not point out that the Aldi train set isn’t the one he wanted with the farm animals. DH has said he’ll buy him the farm train and give him it when SIL has gone home, otherwise he’ll be gutted.
I honestly don't think it would be rude to point out to SIL that your son wants that specific set. It's what's on his list and it's not too late for her to swap, presumably she visits Aldi often so no big deal.

We don’t actually get that much. Presents from MIL, SIL and DM add up to £120 each for me and DH (3 x £40) and £180 for DS (3 x £60). DH and I don’t buy gifts for each other (I’d like to negotiate the budget further down so I could afford DH a gift but that’s another story).

Wilko building blox are awful, tried them once - never again. My children just couldn't get them to fit to together well.

Have a couple of big jigs engines and pieces of track, not a good finish to them at all. Brio and Thomas wooden railway (the old version) are much better, don't know about Aldi though.

Beware of the cheap chinese knock offs of toys on ebay. They won't be made to British safety standards.

Beware of rip off poor quality toys and scams. That’s my only piece of advice. They are not manufactured in line with our standards.

I totally agree. MIL and SIL don’t apparently.

YANBU. You're not asking for something hugely expensive. Why can't they stick to the list? Pandora rings aren't exactly cheap either. I'd be narked. Totally.

Yanbu, this would piss me off too. I'd have to say it or rather get your dh to because he can just cut the bullshit "Are we not buying off the wishlist or not? Because we are buying off it as we want people to get gifts they like but then ours are being replaced by other versions, and really it seems unfair, we either stick to the wishlist or forget it"

This would annoy me too and as petty as it sounds, I would return the 'branded' items you have bought and buy 'as good as' versions. If they don't like it, I would respond that you assumed they would be okay with it as that is what they do.

My SIL gives me any old tat she buys cheaply. When I started gifting in kind, it stopped.

Start doing the same for them then and hope they'll get the message.

My in laws do this because they seem to be of the opinion bigger is better. DD asked for one decent make up brush last year, they got her a set of about thirty shite ones.
DS wanted a nerf gun, they got him a giant not nerf gun.
It's quite frustrating.