Not everyone feels sorry for Mums of just boys or only children

[AlwaysFuckingTired]

Speaking to an acquaintance who mentioned feeling sorry for two of the women she works with in her office. One a Mum of 2 boys, and the other a Mum of one. Apparently she feels awkward as she thinks they're both jealous of her as she's a Mum of both sexes. I asked why she thought that, and she said "oh all women want a Daughter don't they? and everyone wants more than one" I said I've known lots of people happy with an only child or all boys, and she pulled an odd face as if she didn't believe me and said "well that's what people say"

AIBU to think she's a bit of a knob?

I’ve add this also. I have one of each and people say I’m so lucky to have one of each and I am lucky to have my children but I’d have been equally happy with two boys or two girls. Actually that’s a lie considering how much drama my daughter is I think I’d have been happier with two boys than two girls 😂😂😂 children are a blessing to those who want them. It doesn’t matter how many and it doesn’t matter what gender. It’s like when people always speak to married couples without children with some kind of sympathy like this couple should automatically want and need children immediately. Some people just don’t want children and shouldn’t be judged for that.

"I do think the mother/daughter thing is a myth and solely dependent on personalities, not sex."

Yup. My mother has always massively overshared with me based on her idea of what a mother/ daughter relationship should be like. As time has gone on, I've struggled to forgive her for the burden that she placed on me as a child (she got me to hide her adulterous love letters under my mattress and seemed to think that she was bestowing some kind of amazing mother/daughter bonding opportunity on me in doing so). I think our relationship would be less tense now if she hadn't been so desperate for a best mate rather than a daughter.

She is, indeed, a knob.
Mum of two teenage sons, and delighted to be so.
I was told that I would never have children, so to have one was amazing and to be blessed with two seems like a miracle.
When I was expecting I had no idea about the sex of the babies and didn't have any preference.

Anyone who assumes other women want x because they want x is a dickhead. I like Tiramisu, therefore does every other blonde want Tiramisu? It's utter tripe.

The whole "every woman wants a daughter" is what mad people say to themselves to convince themselves that their tawdry lives are better than others.

When I was pregnant with my first, I really wanted a girl, honestly don't know why.
Of course, I had no idea how I would feel when I met my baby boy. I then realised that I couldn't care less as long as he was ok. When my second son was born I was delighted. Would have been the same if it was a daughter. I was was so happy to have my lovely children.
People are weird sometimes aren't they.

Also, two sons and thrilled to be Mother to them. I used to get the head tilt and "oh are you going to try for a girl?" every so often and I'd laugh a maniacal laugh and exclaim "goodness, no, I'm hoping the next one will be a St Bernard" because, really, how can anyone come back from that?

YANBU. I have two of each sex and have been told how lucky I am a few times, I feel lucky to have four healthy children sure but their sexes don’t come into it for me. I also noticed how enthusiastic people are when you tell them you’re having a girl vs a boy, it’s bizarre.

There are some women very desperate for a daughter but I know one woman who was so desperate for a son she went through five c-sections (against doctors advice) until she got a boy . People are strange.

I know plenty of people happy with just boys or an only child.

I've had both sexes but I think same sex siblings is much better for the kids in terms of bonding (I know this is not always the case).

Also, my mum has 4 DD's and 1 DS, in her old age he has done so much more for her than all her daughter's put together (circumstances, not by choice) and he works bloody hard in the week. She had said she'd have been happy with all boys, way before she got old and he stepped up (cheers mum).

I have 2 boys, and am delighted with them. I remember what I was like as a little girl and am so grateful I have boys

So many people though (not recently so much as the boys are older now) asked about trying for a girl. Fact is (1) see above, and (2) when smallest was 3 I had a miscarriage which nearly killed me so no, I won't be trying for any more babies, boys or girls.

2 boys and when pregnnt with the third genuinely wanted a boy!

YANBU she's a knob

I am a mum to one boy and I bloody love it.
Have no longing for another child or a daughter at all!

People are weird. It wouldn't occur to me to feel sorry for someone because of the number of kids they had or the sex of said kid/s. I'd only feel pity if I knew for a fact that there was something that grieved them e.g infertility.

People are people, them being a boy or a girl is no guarantee of a certain kind of parent/child relationship.

A colleague at work informed me last week that I have to give my DD a sibling after I'd said I was only having one and said that it was unfair not to. I explained she has 3 older half siblings but apparently that's not the same. People can be very thoughtless and tactless (ie talk out of their arse).

Ugh, Tinkey, the fixation some people have about it being unfair on a child to be an only child is both perplexing and infuriating. What's worse are those people who feel free to vocalise these thoughts to the parents of an only!

Tinkey people are so fucking rude. I’m very honest back now, if it makes them uncomfortable, then too bad.

She sounds like a smug twat. We are only having one and that will be a gift in itself. Daughter or son!

I'm an only child and I have one boy. I'm happy with just one child, I'm happy with a boy and it never bothered me being an only child.

Friend sounds like a twat! I really don't understand why people think that way

I have two sons and honestly think I’m the lucky one. I wouldn’t have girls for the world - had sisters, went to a girl’s school, no thank you! But boys are lovely. Anyway, if I’d had girls they’d be in therapy by now I’d have been a terrible girl mum 😂

Jesus I’d have 10 boys over my hormonal tween. She is more work then the 30 kids in my classroom. My son has additional needs and is easier then my daughter. YANBU, she is.

Stab for girls and women there!

Is this now a sexist thread? No, not asking, it is

People are weird. I've got one of each and I lost track of the number of times i heard 'oh good, you can stop now'. Er ok thanks for your permission!

I can understand women having a preference before or when they are pregnant. Honestly though I can't fathom this 'I never wanted a girl/boy'. What would these posters have done if they gave birth to dreaded sex? Secretly resent that child?. My preference was to have 2 of the same sex, only because of my own childhood experience but if i had one of each i wouldn't have loved them any differently and I would never say ' I never wanted a girl'. Personally I have made the effort to like what my sons are into, at present I am watching Dr who series with my younger son. We discuss different Drs and epidodes. I'm grateful for my children, they can both be funny, loving, infuriating and annoying. I feel lucky that they are in my life(most of the time) and their gender has nothing to do with it.

@FastLane46 - same here.

Yanbu!

I have one child, a girl and no plans to have any more. I did have a very traumatic birth but still there are other reasons for only having one x