Not everyone feels sorry for Mums of just boys or only children

[AlwaysFuckingTired]

Speaking to an acquaintance who mentioned feeling sorry for two of the women she works with in her office. One a Mum of 2 boys, and the other a Mum of one. Apparently she feels awkward as she thinks they're both jealous of her as she's a Mum of both sexes. I asked why she thought that, and she said "oh all women want a Daughter don't they? and everyone wants more than one" I said I've known lots of people happy with an only child or all boys, and she pulled an odd face as if she didn't believe me and said "well that's what people say"

AIBU to think she's a bit of a knob?

Mum of one son here so she'd feel doubly sorry for me!

IRL though nobody has ever asked me if I want a girl. I have been asked if I plan on any more children and I just say no. I don't think I've ever been pitied!

I am also the mother of two (late teens) boys and often heard 'oh you will have to try for a girl now' from countless people .I would never have got pregnant again just for a girl .I was quite happy with my boys.I was most hurt though by my then best friend who announced to me that she was so lucky to be a mother of girls rather than boys as she cannot stand boys "they are so dirty and never stop moving'.Needless to say she is no longer my friend.

You end up being interested in whatever your kids are interested in, if they love it you show an interest and enjoy it as it makes them happy surely?

Not in my house. I say 'Do put a sock in it, darling.'

But then, like BitchQueen, I am a mother of an only child, who is a boy, and hence Cursed by Fate, and bitter that my lot will never involve Girlie Spa Days.

More seriously, though, I have actually encountered pity and incomprehension over my only child and my lack of a daughter on a number of occasions in RL, and accusations of selfishness at having one by choice (from total strangers at neighbour's parties).

Including from some women (never men) who genuinely weren't intending to be unpleasant my SILs, of whom I am very fond they just couldn't understand that I hadn't had a sex preference, and wasn't hankering after pretty dresses and some mythic mother-daughter bond. I think they may have hoped I would develop an interest in nail varnish if I had a daughter...

We're happy with what we get, surely? I don't have much affection or interest for any children other than my own, whether they're boys or girls.

I do think the mother/daughter thing is a myth and solely dependent on personalities, not sex. My DM and I are close and get on well, but she is a proud "old crusty" rather than girlie, so we've certainly never been on a spa day (I love a spa day!) and I know she eye rolls at my "vanity" (I'm more girlie by nature). Very few of my close friends have BFF style relationships with their mums though. And I know plenty of men who are close to their mums/both parents.

My DH loves a spa day so even if my sons aren't interested, as long as we're still married I'll have a spa buddy, as well as my female friends.

I hate how having boys makes some women pity you. Head tilt and an aww shame you must have your hands full crap.

A woman at school told me my life wouldn't be complete until I had a daughter. She has 4 girls. She kicked her 15 year old out when she had a baby boy and then refused to look after her own grandson, allowing him to be taken into care, as she never wanted a boy. She's a disgrace.

I feel sorry for people with more than one child tbh

^ This. I have two children and I find it very hard. Both the same gender. Both with completely different personalities, likes and dislikes. I find myself being pulled in two most of the time and look at parents who chose to stop at one child quite enviously.

You end up being interested in whatever your kids are interested in, if they love it you show an interest and enjoy it as it makes them happy surely?

I'm not sure about this to be honest. However, as a parent you certainly have some influence over what your children are interested in. Children often follow their parents into the same sort of hobbies, and share the same sorts of values, as that is what they experience growing up.

You end up being interested in whatever your kids are interested in

Nope. Not at all. At best I feign interest at times. More often than not, I leave them to get on with it.

Maybe it’s just me then?! I mean I probably wouldn’t be interested in football but as my DS’s are and get so excited and talk about it animatedly I started taking more of an interest and now quite enjoy it......

Never heard of this misplaced sympathy. I just wanted healthy children but secretly would have liked boys and ...........delighted I got boys. No regrets, missing nothing.

I remember when Colleen Rooney got pregnant the last time, people on the interwebs were openly saying things like "Oh I bet this time she's arranged for it to be a girl". And then when it turned out to be boy number 4, it was all "Oh she must be so disappointed. I bet she'll try for a girl again." How obnoxious. Imagine being one of her much-loved sons and reading that some day.

And I highly doubt we'd hear such things if they were 4 girls.

Interesting that some posters have said they feel sorry for Mothers of girls or multiples...

My own boys have never come home having been bullied by other boys, they have never said anything remotely unpleasant about their friends, and never instigated a "she said, you said, they said" conversation.

You are living under a rock if you think your experience is universal, @MiniTheMinx

Boys can be, and are, horrible to one another. As children often are. As people often are.

The most vile online trolls are inevitably men.

Again - as Bumpitybumper asked you. Where do you place yourself in comparison to other women? Do you think you're the exception, or do you think men are all better than you too?

I would give anything, absolutely anything to be able to have a second child.

I cannot imagine caring what that child would be other than healthy.

I don’t think mothers of boys are luckier than mothers of girls. I think mothers who have the number of children they choose and want are they luckiest people.

when i had my 2 daughter i had a lady who said to me ' i am so so sorry you had another daughter' actually i was pleased she was ok after a long stay in scbu so didnt give a toss about the sex

I have 2 boys (16 & 4). Both were complicated and hard pregnancies. I don’t give a flying monkies that they’re both boys. I’m just glad I had 2 healthy, wonderful children. I don’t miss having a daughter as I subscribe to the “you don’t miss what you’ve never had” camp.

Alwaysfuckingtired . BIG knob actually !

Completely agree with JacquesHammer.

Honestly people can be very silly about this stuff, and they can also be very rude. We are lucky to have our children, however many and whatever they are. I'm a mum of 4 boys and love it, but it's all I know, and am sure I'd love being a mum of 4 girls, or a mix or an only equally.

My DB and DSIL were unable to conceive so I know how lucky I am. They came to terms with this and made a great life without children and I have huge respect (and sometimes envy) for that, my boys adore them.

Each to their own.

I am sitting here with my only who is a boy. We are sitting here at his insistence wearing matching Christmas pyjamas while he snuggles his new unicorn that we ended up buying today as he is in a unicorn obsessed at the moment. He has lots of unicorn stuff coming at Christmas as well as a big farm. He is the most cuddly loving child ever and also adores Lego, football and watching motor racing but equally asks to play hairdressers and wants his nails painted. Not really sure what the difference is between the sexes apart from their physical genitals!

If all boys. Nope never wanted a girl after ds1. I was worried I would have a girl and not knownwhat to do with her

What the fuck is that batshittery about spa days.
I've never once been for a spa day with my mum (probably because I live 4000 miles away but whatever...)
But you know who came with me to get my nails done yesterday? DS2 who is 4 years old.
I have two beautiful healthy hilarious sons and I couldn't ask for anything else.

I pity those who are so stupid they can't fathom that there is no "better". One sex isn't "better" than the other and you'd have to be hard of thinking to believe otherwise.

Mum of two boys, would love a daughter, but been trying for over two years with no results of either. So I guess I’m set to remain perpetually disappointed at my unfinished brood.

Mum to two beautiful boys & couldn't be happier. Was mum to an only child for 10 years due to fertility problems and although I wanted more children I was genuinely happy with what I had

I'm a Mum of 3 boys and feel proud and blessed every single day. I am not jealous of anyone for their children, be they boys, girls or both and I wouldn't trade a single second with my children for time with anyone else's.
Yes, I've had to totally push myself out of my very girly comfort zone as they've got older and yes, I hate their smelly trainers, but I am so so proud that I have three gorgeous boys of my own who will one day soon be three very fine men.

I have 3 sons. When I was pregnant with no 3, I was constantly being told I must be hoping for a girl... After he was born, I was being asked if I would "try again for a girl", as if I'd done something wrong and needed to have another go!!!
My mum coincidentally had 3 boys before she had me, and when her 3rd was born, she had several people say "oh never mind, you can always try again"
For what it's worth, I love having all boys and have never felt like I've missed anything by not having a girl!!