Not everyone feels sorry for Mums of just boys or only children

[AlwaysFuckingTired]

Speaking to an acquaintance who mentioned feeling sorry for two of the women she works with in her office. One a Mum of 2 boys, and the other a Mum of one. Apparently she feels awkward as she thinks they're both jealous of her as she's a Mum of both sexes. I asked why she thought that, and she said "oh all women want a Daughter don't they? and everyone wants more than one" I said I've known lots of people happy with an only child or all boys, and she pulled an odd face as if she didn't believe me and said "well that's what people say"

AIBU to think she's a bit of a knob?

*your acquaintance (not workmate)

I find people with this “thing” about girls buy into all the gender stereotypes and have fixed ideas of their relationship with their particular sex child.

Yeah. My mum thought like you. We don’t speak now because I don’t fit with her expectations of a girl.

Would be my response.

So weird that people actually think:
girl = spas
boys = football.
So glad no one I know in rl comes out with such crap

Well do you know any men who've gone with their mum on a spa day??
I certainly don't but just about all my friends have done at least one spa day with their mum.

I find people with this “thing” about girls buy into all the gender stereotypes and have fixed ideas of their relationship with their particular sex child.

Same with boys though. You see it on the so called “gender disappointment” threads on here. Lazy stereotypes in relation to both sexes and indulgent bullshit telling the OP it’s ok to “grieve for the daughter she’ll never have”.

I have two boys and really dont understand this...they are the best of friends, they share similar interests, eldest passes his clothes down to the youngest after a year, they look out for each other at school and do most things together! Why would I want to change that?

I think there’s a lot of confirmation bias going on here with regard to observing gendered behaviour in children of both sexes. My experiences must be different to some because the bullying at my school was mainly boy on boy and the bitchiest workplace I have ever been in was extremely male dominated. I don’t conclude from that that all men are bitches or bullies. My female friends and family are intelligent and rational beings. So are my male family and friends.

My sister and I have never done a “spa day” or “girlie shopping and cocktails” with our mum. She’s just not into those things. In any event it seems a very shallow thing to see as a barometer of one’s relationship with one’s offspring.

How are so many posters on here happy to berate the woman OP has posted about, yet are expressing opposite but equally offensive views about how disappointed they would be to have girls?

It seems like you're overcompensating.

For me a healthy child is all that matters- I have had MIL pressing me for a preference (I'm currently pregnant) and she cannot get her head around the fact that I just don't have one!

How are so many posters on here happy to berate the woman OP has posted about, yet are expressing opposite but equally offensive views about how disappointed they would be to have girls? hmm

I noticed this! i was jumped on for saying i wouldnt want only boys not that i wouldnt want a boy just that i wouldnt want all boys and was jumped on by several posters, yet many posters have stated how awful girls are and have said they dont want a girl at all yet no one picks up on that? funny hey

Um lots of people have commented on the misogyny?

I have three boys, I would have loved a girl but it wasn’t to be and my boys are fab. I have never been jealous of anyone who has girls.

We don’t buy into the gender stereotypes here.

We had a son first and when our daughter was born a lot of people made a big fuss about how thrilled we must be, one of each, perfect family etc.

We really didn't mind at all, I would have been just as happy with 2 boys. But I heard "every woman wants a daughter". Obviously that's just not true.

I really hate the pushing pink on girls thing. It happened twice to DD yesterday. The doctor in A&E asked her if she wanted a pink balloon and a waitress asked if she wanted a pink straw (she said no and asked for a red balloon and green straw) she's only 3 and we've never encouraged pink so it's just another colour to her and not one she's particularly drawn to. I'm hoping we can continue this at least until school, when I accept her friends will start to have more of an influence.

I’ve had “ooh don’t you want a girl though” a few times, which is great because I get to pull my haughty face and say “of course not, all we want as mums is for our children to be happy and healthy, isn’t it?”

IDGAF that I only have boys, they get spoiled by girl-hungry MIL and DM enough, if I had a girl we’d be drowning in pink tat and ridiculous frocks. Bad enough I had that rubbish shoved on me as a child.

I have three boys and one on the way. Four boys has always been my dream!

Both my DC are girls and the woman in question knows this. I'm not sure if she deems this desirable or if I'm meant to be jealous too.

You get what you get with kids! I have two boys and then a girl. People probably think I stopped at three because I got my girl. I just wanted three kids! They're all annoying in equal measures nothing to do with what sex they are!

Well do you know any men who've gone with their mum on a spa day??
I certainly don't but just about all my friends have done at least one spa day with their mum

I’m not sure I’m getting this obsession with spas here. You know not all women are into spas (maybe you don’t)
I know women who’ve gone to restaurants and holidays with their sons- and this may be really shocking, women who have gone to football matches with their daughters

To my knowledge no one I know has ever been to a spa, with or without their mum. It certainly isn't something they're doing every month, so to base your entire expectations of parenthood around it seems very bizarre to me.

My husbands been to the spa with his mum several times, sometimes with me too, sometimes without. The man loves a pamper!

I had my fingers crossed for a girl and am thoroughly delighted I got one. She's the only child and I'm not planning on having any more children.

I feel sorry for people with more than one child tbh as it seems to be extremely hard work, bringing up more than one.

No need to feel sorry for me having 2, they entertain eachother a lot of the time. It's no harder than 1 and sometimes easier in my experience.

I feel sorry for her, for thinking in such a stupid and blinkered way.

I have 3 sons. Im just waiting for someone to say they feel sorry for me so I can tell them to fuck off.

I have 2 boys and have had comments about don’t I wish I had a girl or was I sad I didn’t have a girl. It’s all a bit ridiculous as surely whatever you have is the ideal for you! I really didn’t have any preference with either pregnancy and when we tried (unsuccessfully in the end) for a third the sex didn’t even get a mention as it was a child we wanted......

I also think the defensiveness, from both sides, about not being interested in football/spas/unicorn/other gender bollocks is nonsense. You end up being interested in whatever your kids are interested in, if they love it you show an interest and enjoy it as it makes them happy surely?