are older women invisible?

[ambereeree]

I read this a lot on mn and wondered if you think it's true and what age does it happen?

To whom?

I can only speak for my own experience - which is, yes - and it happened roundabout the age of 40. I am not sorry. On the contrary, it's a good thing.

I’m invisible as a sexual being to men. I’m 50. Started becoming invisible about 5 years ago. I’m fine with it as I feel like I had my day and I squeezed every ounce of fun out of being young and attractive.

It's lovely.
Men tend to relate to me as a person, rather than a sexual object.

They sort of do. I'm one of them, at 51.

But you wise up to a lot of Men pretending to be interested in what a Woman has to say because they want the time/attention of a younger or attractive Woman.

You get to see how a lot of Men really view us.

It's really freeing in the sense that I can weary Sketchers, with a small hole in and no-one bat's an eyelid.

Assuming you mean 'invisible to men', is this something that will lay an axe to the roots of your self-esteem, OP? Has visibility to men been a great boon to you in your life when passing a building site, out for a run, or minding your own business in a bar?

Happened to me as soon as I seemed to hit about 30. But now I'm seen as an actual person, instead of something they'd fuck. Which Is better in my opinion.

Why assume she means invisible to men specifically?

I'm not sure I've ever been visible? What does invisible to men actually mean?

When it comes to the workplace, I think I'm invisible to women the same age as me (almost 50), who only look to men or younger women when it comes to recruitment. It's almost as though, being the same age, I'm competition.

Why assume she means invisible to men specifically?

Because that's usually what is meant when it's posted about on here. Or that other women no longer see them as 'competition', which is much the same thing, and pretty depressing if you see it as a measure of self-esteem.

I meant in society and the workplace. But i guess that would also include to the opposite gender.
I feel I became invisible in the workplace once i had my children. My childless colleague says its happened to her once she was around 45.

It happened to me around age 50. I love not having to feel under constant scrutiny and appraisal.

Yes and no.

I became invisible as in random men largely stopped making an effort to be extra nice to me.

Professionally I became more visible. I started being taken more seriously more easily.

I have found I need to dress more "loud". When younger I was all understatement. Now I look like a beige person with no personality if I do that. I take care now that my appearance gives a good indication of my personality. I think that helps avoid invisibility. Also, I have had to become more brashly loud, which was never me, which I realise now was because hot blondes barely need to whisper to get attention.

I like being older. I wish my body didn't get ill or injured so easily now though.

I love attracting less attention the older I get. The potential for subversion is wonderful 🙂

Cottontailrabbit interesting point about dressing loud. Maybe this is what i need to do.

I've found it rather liberating actually - and now it is much easier to call men out on their shit if they start being sexist or patronising. If you're older than them you can be rather withering in your put-downs if you need to be.

In what way, invisible?

When I stand at the counter in a shop the person serving seems able to see me.

I was in a small supermarket yesterday using the self checkout, one of the assistants noticed that I had put my, one purchase, on the wrong side and came over to advise me, in the nicest way, that it needed to be on the other side in order for the machine to recognise it.

So no I don't think I'm invisible.

If you mean invisible to men who might otherwise show an interest in me as a sexual being? Yes, I don't doubt I am. Do I care? No.

Absolutely. It's great if you're into trespassing.

or shoplifting

Sorry, did someone say something?

BurpAndRustle
I'll shout

SPEAK UP DEAR

I travelled to a new and interesting country by myself recently. No-one batted an eyelid at anything I did - I wasn't approached in the street or anything. Completely OK to sit in a bar by myself etc.
Totally invisible and brilliant :)
I am late 40s.

I keep thinking that I have hit that point, then some fella makes eyes or such, and it's like, oh right, still happens then, ok

Maybe its like periods/menopause that goes in fits and starts at the beginning?

@eggysmom i find promotion or new exciting projects are given to men regardless of their age.