are older women invisible?

[ambereeree]

I read this a lot on mn and wondered if you think it's true and what age does it happen?

Only if they allow it. A bit like Cottontail, I became more confident as I aged, and people who thought that as an older women I would step back and take their nonsense, or just fade away and let them ignore me, learned sometimes harsh and public lessons. My knowledge and experience, not my age or my sex, are what I use. I help where I can, and am supportive, but will not accept being put down on unfair grounds. When asked how I do what I do, I will share techniques with colleagues of whatever age or sex. Out and about, it depends on how much I want the attention. I have a strong voice when necessary! I'm not interested in being the centre or focus of attention as a general thing, and never have been, so don't miss that.

In some ways yes. I used to walk along a long busy road to work when I was in my 20s. I got hooted and wolf whistled more days than not. I always hated attention from random men in the street, and I’m glad it’s been a while since I last got an ‘alright darlin’or a ‘smile love’. But it’s a pain when you’re stood at a busy bar trying to get served and all the young women 20 years younger are having no trouble!

My adventurous yet introverted DM says she loves it.

When I stand at the counter in a shop the person serving seems able to see me.

They quite often act as if they can't see me.

At 63 I have been invisible for years - it's great. Such freedom.

Start shoplifting OP.

I think if you have a profession and a lot of experience you probably feel less invisible and confident in your skills, but you are also probably quite young

My mum is in her 70s and finds she is 'invisible' in terms of society, particularly as she doesn't have a husband.

I know a lot of people have focussed on men not fancying them here which probably stops much younger than 70 , but also a lot of the power is held by men too and its quite hard to say plan a public space, if there is a group of society that you just don't consider at all.

To creeps they do, yes.

Certainly not

I find many older women very attractive

Who chooses are partner based on their looks anyway?

The way you look has nothing to do with how you perform in the bedroom.

BurpAndRustle

I am 48 and throughout my life was always taken for a much younger woman.

In my working life this has never been a good thing and it's only the last couple of years that I do feel more respected as someone who 'knows their topic' which I blooming well do after all these years, but it took looking a touch 'middle-aged' to start to bring this about for me! I am enjoying it and hoping this will last!

What I am not enjoying is the onset of the menopause purely due to unpleasant symptoms, but these are not there the whole time and will pass and I like the age I am right now other than that.

Where are my posts?

I've certainly never felt I've become invisible, sounds more like a self esteem issue to me if you feel that way.

Definitely, OP. I think somewhere around 40 or 50 women don't get taken seriously. I went to a new gym recently to do a spin (stationary bike) class. The instructor helped my set the bike up. I sat on it and said it was too low. He told me it was "fine for a beginner". I was absolutely fuming. I have been going to spin classes for years and have been cycling all my life (and competitively for many years). He would never have assumed a man or a younger woman is a beginner.

I am 53 and don't really know what you mean. I don't feel invisible at all, not at work (been promoted twice in past three years) within society, (not sure how that would look) friends or in terms of being attractive to men (I still get flirted with and hit on by strangers)

In the past I agree I saw younger, more attractive women being listened to and promoted regardless of intelligence/capability. However, I haven't seen that for a while now. I think things are so tight and difficult most places, there's no place for pretty passengers!

I notice that younger women expect me to defer to them in lifts, going through doors etc. That started in my mid 40s. However, I changed my look by losing weight and changing my hair and wearing make up. That seemed to bump me up in the attraction stakes so I get more male attention at 50 than at 40. However, it's never salacious.

I'm late 30s and not totally invisible yet but taken more seriously at work which is nice.
Sometimes I feel sad that no one will ever fancy me again but on balance I reckon it's worth the trade off.

Yes and I absolutely love it. It’s so freeing.

Green Cat - you were new to the class though so not an unreasonable jump to think you were new to spinning, a lot of people would be, me included if I was new to a class hardly something to be fuming about. You WERE new.

If it helps, I'm 26 and men don't give me the time of day anymore. Don't know what it is, if I look more tired due to motherhood, No idea. Only other reason could be my bitchy resting face.

I'm late 30s and not totally invisible yet but taken more seriously at work which is nice. Sometimes I feel sad that no one will ever fancy me again but on balance I reckon it's worth the trade off.

Oh come on, lady! Why are you writing yourself off as a fanciable being at......

It happens about the time you are not of breeding age anymore. I looked a lot younger than I was so I was noticed for a few more years, then after years of steroids/illness I slipped on my invisible cloak.

It gets better though because when you get as old as dirt people treat you like you're their grandma. It's kind of nice.

Well, I'm 70 and I can honestly say I don't feel I'm invisible.

Yes, I don't doubt I'm invisible to a very large percentage of the male population and a great many young women, but so what, likewise they're invisible to me too.

Unless you're famous or someone of very rare beauty, most people will go through life not being noticed by the vast majority of the population.

I don't look my age and I'm not a shuffling, old woman type 70 year old. I dress and walk confidently and carry myself well and tbh I actually don't care what others think of me.

It happens about the time you are not of breeding age anymore

How do you explain fertile women being ignored then?