are older women invisible?

[ambereeree]

I read this a lot on mn and wondered if you think it's true and what age does it happen?

@pgsDofly that is what I am talking about, I like your style

I don't feel invisible. I would love to be invisible. Sounds great.
Then again, I probably don't work in same industry as OP. & I'm not interested in 'promotion', so maybe I haven't encountered the barriers others find. OP, Do you work in an industry where an aggressive style is favoured? Something that is antithesis of 'mumsy' ?

In my area we just don't get enough qualified applicants so we seize with both hands whoever applies, seems like. Can't afford to care about age or sex.

Aaaagh I mean @pigsDOfly

I can definitely see me when I look in the mirror, although sometimes I see my aunt or mother for an instant !

Am I the only one confused by these threads?

I never been a classic beauty so maybe it relates more to women who miss being catcalled and shouted at on the street etc?

Yes it's real and worse when very overweight.

@Safetyfreak - not just you, me too!

Yes. The worst bit is getting routinely ignored by waiters if in a waiter-service bar or bar staff if trying to set served in a pub.

I accept that, as you age, you attract less male attention. Whether that is a good or bad thing is surely up to the individual. What I do mind though, is the feeling that, because I’m older, what I have to say, what opinions I have, what my viewpoint is- all are irrelevant because I’m not in the first flush.

What older people have, is experience and possibly a certain wisdom. I think it’s a shame that it’s ignored. We tend to be treated as though we’re big toddlers and I think it’s patronising.

Btw I'm not saying at all that other women in their late 30s aren't fancied! But I have not aged well and have developed a lot of facial hair and cellulite. It's fine, I have other qualities but can totally relate to those saying that when senior men spoke to them at work when they were younger it wasn't for their amazing ideas!
This was pointed out to me by my older female boss but I ignored her. The irony.

OP said she asked the question very specifically about at work situations, and promotion or interesting projects & tasks.

17yo has had recent wolf whistles & propositions from random males. She's slightly bewildered. Can't say I would ever miss that type of attention.

I have only just hit 30 and it has happened to me! However I am married with a child so I think that's a lot of it.

I don't find it at work however, I am taken more seriously as I get older. It's just lack of flirting around the place I have noticed.

Yep I am 45 and found this relatively recently.

I definitely don't get ignored at work. I'm taken more seriously with every grey hair! It's fab. I finally don't feel like I have to keep proving myself. People trust that I know my shit now. Which I do.

I think so, yes and agree with others who say it's worse for the overweight.

I am 48 and quite looking forward to being invisible.

I never been a classic beauty so maybe it relates more to women who miss being catcalled and shouted at on the street etc?

I dunno safety - I don't experience any invisibility at all in any area of my life and am early fifties, but, without coming across all Samantha Brick, I have always been very good looking, although obviously I am not as attractive now as I was in my 20s and 30s. I still get attention from random males. I assumed the invisibility thing happened when you were about 70

Do I attract less male attention now rhan when I was younger/thinner and the answer would be yes.

Am I invisible - no. Recent promotion at work, get on well with everybody, am accepted for who I am. The youngsters at work treat me like a friend even though I am old enough to be their mother. They always invite me on their nights out and definitely tell me things they probably wouldn't tell their mother. And as an opposite to the pp who said she thought men were interested in her but has no realised she was eye candy - I find men are far happier to talk and take me seriously about some things like sport for example as they know I am not trying to impress them.

I've been a SAHM for a few years an have just gone back into the workforce (I am nearly 54).

I have noticed that in the last two jobs I was barely given a glance at work but when two 20 somethings started work the gushing from managers was embarrasing to watch.

I also try to show interest in the young ones at work yet they can hardly bring themselves to even ask my name (there ate some decent ones as well).

In the past pre DS2 I did mix with lots of younger ones through joint interests, now several years later in the workforce it's like I've just been put into 'older woman like my Mum' catergory who cant possibly have anything of interest to say

My invisibility coincided roughly with when I had my child - mid 30s. I definitely prefer being older.

I'm early 50s, professional, well groomed and still (I think 😳) attractive. However!! I know that I am invisible in many places, especially to men. Case in point: I've been looking for a new car recently and visiting showrooms...high end showrooms too, BMW, Audi and so on. I drive an X3 which I clearly parked outside, so it's hardly as if I looked like a 'car tourist' or whatever! In 3 places, I was ignored for over 30 minutes...there were sales people available. Potential buyers were coming in AFTER me...mostly men or families, but on two occasions, younger, attractive women came in after me. EVERY SINGLE TIME the sales people rushed over immediately, ignoring the fact that I had been there, opening car doors, looking inside boots and even sitting in the bloody cars!! It was as if I had an invisibility cape on...I'm not even joking! I finally snapped and in the last place left after telling the manager exactly what had happened and how he'd just lost a 30k sale due to his staff's ignorance.

So yes, we do become invisible in certain environments, but we don't have to put up with it if we don't want to! Of course, as PPs have said, it can have its advantages, especially when travelling as a single woman...you rarely get harassed 🤷‍♀️

Helmet I like the sound of those twinkly eyed convos... somewhat flirtatious and fun (if I have understood you correctly...

Yes, although flirtatious May imply a kind of sexual flirting, and I don’t mean that, but I’m always having fun with men - I think the idea that women over 35 say are invisible to men in their 40-90s is utterly ludicrous - they like chatting with me!

I doubt they are. That is totally daft, OP!!

I honestly don't feel invisible at 46. I'm taken seriously at work and I still get unwanted attention from men despite not being stunning (I'm ok looking and of average height/size). No trouble in shops.