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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that parents who don't vaccinate their children are despicable

585 replies

LaBelleSauvage · 24/11/2018 01:30

Just that. And I think they ought to be sanctioned in some way similar to in Australia. Children shouldn't suffer because of parents' stupidity

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formerbabe · 24/11/2018 10:48

@Pinkyyy

If polio suddenly reappeared in the UK and there was an outbreak in your local area...I bet you'd be banging down the door of your gps surgery to get vaccinated?!

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 24/11/2018 10:48

@pinkyyy well you should. You should be immensely grateful.
You should also actually get vaccinated yourself too now you're an adult and don't need your parents permission.

trancepants · 24/11/2018 10:53

If you're vaccinated then what business is it of yours who is and who isn't?

That's not how vaccines work. Anyone who claims to be making an informed decision yet makes statements like this could not possibly be informed. Because you can't possibly have a clue of the most very, very basic facts about vaccines if you make statements so at odds with how they work.

Vaccines rolled out at a later stage in Ireland than they did in the UK so I had quite a lot of the illnesses which even my younger brothers escaped because they were vaccinated. I had measles, mumps and rubella as a child. Measles wasn't nice. I was three when I had them so my memories are mainly just a series of 'clips' but they are all unpleasant. Not horrendous, similar to how I felt when I have a vile migraine now. I was five when I had mumps and rubella, one after the other in quick succession, and my memories of that time are actually very pleasant. I had few symptoms that bothered me and I was made such a fuss of by my parents and visiting relatives that it was a nice time. I also had whooping cough at 6 months (which I obviously have no memory of) but my mum does and I was not sick apart from the cough and my life never seemed to be at risk.

I don't really worry about my DS, now 6, getting any of these illnesses. He's a strong healthy child. Was breastfed for years by me with my natural immunity which blood tests done very recently, show I still have. (I know he's not guaranteed to benefit from my immunity past a few months/a year of breastfeeding but it was something I considered when making the vaccination decision.) He has a very healthy immune system, goes through common illnesses very quickly and would probably have as easy a time with any of those illnesses as I had. I know there is no guarantee but the odds are, and my feelings having personal experience of the illnesses, are that he'd be fine. I know I could still be horribly wrong and mumps past puberty is a very serious issue for males but I don't think it helps to pretend that illnesses that the majority of children in the past got through just fine are deathly dangerous to everyone in the same ways.

But we live in a society. I have friends with children who have health issues that mean they would be very, very much at risk from any of those illnesses. Some of whom can't be vaccinated as even the vaccinations would put their bodies under too much pressure. There are two children in my circle who I genuinely suspect are ill enough that measles in particular would almost certainly be a death sentence. I vaccinate my DS not because I worry about him, he would probably be fine, but because if I don't, he would increase the risk to other people. To people who already have ill health and disabilities. People who are vulnerable. What sort of actual scumbag would I be to take the utter good fortune of our health and well being and use it to gamble with the lives of people who already have enough to deal with. All because I couldn't be bothered to ensure I understand how vaccines work.

It's not difficult to understand or complicated to get your head around. My 6yo understands it perfectly well. He knows that vaccines protect him a little but the whole of society a lot. He understands that his friend's big brother has very comprehensive special needs and that he needs extra protection from illnesses and that our vaccines are part of that. My 6yo who uses terms like 'bad bugs' and 'good guys' to articulate pathogens and anti-bodies, understands the concept of herd immunity because it's not a difficult concept to get your head around if you want to. And that's the crux of it. People who don't understand the really, really simple concept of herd immunity, don't want to. And that is selfish to the extreme because it puts our most vulnerable at risk.

Monestasi · 24/11/2018 10:53

Parents are always going to do what they believe is best for their children, that doesn't make them selfish

No they aren’t at all. We see parents failing their children every single day.

Willfully choosing to go against scientific fact and medical opinion makes you very very selfish. Parents thinking that they know better than immunologists and the whole medical community should face harsh penalties.

I’m fed up with their stupidity and ignorance. The irony is that, the very community they distrust and refuse to believe would be the one they turn to in the event of their child catching a deadly disease.

Pinkyyy · 24/11/2018 10:55

formerbabe no I wouldn't, surely if I was going to get them I'd have had them by now.

BlaaBlaaBlaa forgive my ungratefulness but I don't thank vaccinated people for my own good health, no matter how many different ways you want to try and tell me it's all credited to them. And I won't be vaccinating myself.

Ollivander84 · 24/11/2018 10:55

I need the herd immunity. I couldn't have my MMR due to an egg allergy. Now I'm immunosuppressed and on GCSF which is a treatment they use if you become neutropenic during cancer treatment. It's a serious drug, I inject once a week
I'm going to be immunosuppressed for life

TheStoic · 24/11/2018 10:56

I don't walk about thinking to myself "thank god all these vaccinated people are protecting me".

Yeah, that’s exactly the problem.

formerbabe · 24/11/2018 10:57

formerbabe no I wouldn't, surely if I was going to get them I'd have had them by now

There is no polio in the UK and hasn't been for decades. So no, you wouldn't have got it by now Hmm

My question was what if it suddenly reappeared?

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 24/11/2018 10:57

@pinkyyy why? If you have children are they vaccinated?

CecilyP · 24/11/2018 11:01

BlaaBlaaBlaa as I said yes it may well have an effect on me, but I don't rely on it. I don't walk about thinking to myself "thank god all these vaccinated people are protecting me".

No, of course you don't; but that is because most of the diseases that are vaccinated against in this country are now so rare (because of vaccination) that you don't have to think about it.

Pinkyyy · 24/11/2018 11:01

formerbabe I was talking about the vaccinations. Of I wanted those I'd have had them by now- not the diseases.

BlaaBlaaBlaa because it is a choice so people are free to do or not do

formerbabe · 24/11/2018 11:04

formerbabe I was talking about the vaccinations. Of I wanted those I'd have had them by now- not the diseases

That still makes no sense Confused

You presumably haven't had the vaccinations because those illnesses aren't prevalent or have been completely eradicated in the UK.

Again, my question is if polio or diptheria suddenly reappeared. What would you do?

Pinkyyy · 24/11/2018 11:06

formerbabe I wouldn't do anything

echt · 24/11/2018 11:06

formerbabe, you can't argue with stupid.:o

Good on you for persisting, though,

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 24/11/2018 11:07

But surely anyone with an ounce of intelligence understands the benefits of vaccinations. Unless there is a diagnosed medical condition there is not one sensible reason for not vaccinating. Not a single one.
It's all good and well saying it's a choice but immunocompromised people suffer ( and sometimes die) because of your choices.
Not vaccinating when medically possible is the epitome of selfishness and stupidity.

formerbabe · 24/11/2018 11:08

formerbabe I wouldn't do anything

So scary it's actually laughable.

Pop over to the nhs website and read about what Diphtheria and Polio can do...it's bloody terrifying.

CecilyP · 24/11/2018 11:10

BlaaBlaaBlaa forgive my ungratefulness but I don't thank vaccinated people for my own good health, no matter how many different ways you want to try and tell me it's all credited to them. And I won't be vaccinating myself.

Your general good health is one thing, but the reason you never got certain diseases, especially the common ones like measles, mumps and rubella is most definitelydefinitely due to other children being vaccinated! Whether you are grateful or not is up to you!

formerbabe · 24/11/2018 11:11

I bet mothers in the developing world who live in fear of their children dying from preventable diseases think we're fucking mad!

Pinkyyy · 24/11/2018 11:11

Right I'm not here to be called stupid or ridiculed so I'll be on my way.

JacquesHammer · 24/11/2018 11:15

I don't walk about thinking to myself "thank god all these vaccinated people are protecting me"

Well you fucking should be. Thankfully my parents weren’t as ignorant and selfish as yours!

But hey “some other fucker can take the hit so my kid is protected”.

BakedBeans47 · 24/11/2018 11:16

This thread is making me feel physically sick. Saying my parents are disgusting and ignorant for not vaccinating me and even that I shouldn't have been allowed to attend a public school.

Blame your parents for their stupidity and ignorance then.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 24/11/2018 11:17

pinkyyy well you're different to most anti-vaxxers I've encountered. Most of them try to at least justify their reasons with something other than 'choice'
It's still all bullshit though so at least we've been spared that.

CecilyP · 24/11/2018 11:19

Sorry if people were rude, Pinkyy, and I do understand you wanting to defend your parents, but you do come across as unbelievably dense, by not taking anything anyone is saying on board and repeating the same nonsense over and over.

Leonie87 · 24/11/2018 11:19

If someone opened a private nursery could they have a rule whereby they don’t take unvaccinated children? Would that amount to some form of discrimination?

HollyGoLoudly1 · 24/11/2018 11:20

@Pinkyyy

I don't walk about thinking to myself "thank god all these vaccinated people are protecting me"

You should be. They are to thank for you being able to live your life free from fear of many serious diseases.

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