to feel humiliated by mums leaving pub tables in a state

[Servernotslave]

I’m a waitress and today I felt so demoralised by the state the the table was left in by a group of 4 mums out for a £6.99 sandwich meal deal in the chain pub I work in; High chairs left caked in food, the floor covered in rice and grated cheese and other snacks, used wet wipes all over the table but not used to clean up even a tiny bit.

My children are 11&12 now but I never would have left a table like that, I’d have asked for a dustpan or if they offered to clean it I’d have left a tip and apologised.

I’m overworked and underpaid like a lot of jobs, I used to be a buyer in London but following a shit divorce i waitress locally because it currently fits in with the kids. I’m a smiley person and do my best to give really good service and go the extra mile however I couldn’t hide my disdain today and noticed one of the women had left her bank card on the floor, I ran out of to the car park to hand it back and said “Whilst I was picking your food off the floor I found this”.
She said thanks but tbh I wish I’d just left it behind bar so she would be inconvenienced collecting it- it’s so unlike me to think like this.

It took me 15 minutes to make the table presentable again whilst I also had food to run and other customers to serve- 25 other tables actually! I’m really questioning how a group of mums with toddlers made me feel so worthless.

Another table had left quavers all over the windowsill and another table had let their kids snap crayons everywhere.

It’s normally a nice pub with a great regular clientele but now I’m just dreading the build up to Christmas if it’s going to be like this every shift as more mums pile for get togethers and give no thought to how it feels to pick up mess like this in front of other customers.

AIBU to expect people to have a bit more decorum or is it my job unconditionally?

@katseyes7 Eh? Of course it is relevant if someone uses a word or phrase wrongly. If you are operating in a language that isn't your first language - particularly working in such an irregular and complex language as English - then it is helpful if people can explain to you why the word doesn't work in that context.

Excellent post by ChocolateWombat at 19:25:54. Really explained things well.

PS, there has been occasions my children and/or babies have violently puked with no warning. I have always let someone know and attempted to clean up as much as I could with what I have. I then clean up with what the restaurant or store has given me. It’s disgusting but it’s my children’s disgusting so it’s my job to do it. I will usually get the worst of it the the rest your store will take over. I don’t want anyone else to vomit due to my children’s vomit. I know I am a sympathetic vomiter so have difficulty with it, someone else shouldn’t have to deal with and potyvomit due to it.

I’m absolutely horrified by these comments. I’ve worked as a bar person and a waitress. No we don’t work to pick up your nasty crap. Learn some basic manners.

I wonder if this a Social Class thing? I am a whole lot older than most posters on this site (I think).
When my Mum and Dad took us to Cafes when we were little, (all those years ago), the waiting staff were a lot more like us than in the modern world. We and the waitresses/waiters were working/lower middle class, and any of us might be doing their jobs. My mum and dad were scrupulous abot not giving them extra work-it could have been us doing their jobs.
Is the Modern World different? And if so, why?

Sadly I think this is a "not my problem" thing that has crept into our society . I notice that this is something that seems commonplace now

One of my friends put a used dirty nappy on her plate for the waitress to take away after changing her babies nappy in the midweek of the cafe. I was horrified.

Good on you for not throwing the towel in. You deserve

I think you just have to harden yourself to this kind of shite because the world is coarsening and we're all along for the ride. Mind you, those in the service industry unfortunately have to deal with the brunt of it - terribly sorry for your bad day.

People are disgusting. I once saw an elderly man hold one nostril closed and blow a stream of snot straight onto his dirty plate. Then he wiped with a napkin and left it for the waitress to clean up. And a mum once changed her baby on the food counter in DH’s work cafeteria despite there being facilities in the foyer, and they had to stop serving while they disinfected the counter.

I always tidy after my DC. And I carry a folding high chair under the buggy because high chairs are always filthy and the trays NEVER get washed in hot water in restaurants, just wiped over.

There's a cafe/ restaurant near me in Clapham which is popular with mums and prams. A friend of a friend runs it and they apparently often have babies' nappies being changed on the tables (rather than in the loos) and sometimes even used ones left behind. They don't say anything as they can't risk losing business en masse. People are gross

Yanbu and unfortunately there's a lot if selfish people like this.

@CountryBunny - What did you say to her ? I hope you challenged her ?

There's a cafe/ restaurant near me in Clapham which is popular with mums and prams. A friend of a friend runs it and they apparently often have babies' nappies being changed on the tables (rather than in the loos) and sometimes even used ones left behind. They don't say anything as they can't risk losing business en masse.

...... or potentially, they are already losing business of other people who don't want to eat, drink, or even just relax at tables where people have been changing nappies!

I work in F&B OP and I can honestly say the worst states are left during the day by the mothers with kids who aren't of school age yet. They fuckin destroy the place and don't leave a penny in tips. Arseholes. Entitled scruffy bastards.

My babies at the stage where she has just started sitting in a high chair and eating food whilst out , most of it goes on the floor I make a huge effort to clean it all up as do my friends who have babies . They should be ashamed of themselves

If I wanted to clean up after myself I wouldn't go out for lunch

Do you expect the waitress to wipe your arse if you go to the toilet too @howabout? If not why not?

YANBU OP. When I'm out with my kids they make a mess and I always Make sure I tidy as they make it, I'd feel awful someone having to clean their mess up. Some people are fucking gross

Ah bold fail!

I’m not sure. I have small children. I do clean up, but not sure I would ask for a dustpan and brush. You say they cleaned the table with wet wipes so not like they have totally left it dirty. Hard to say without being there what the line is, but I do think that a degree of cleaning up is a normal part of the job.

I wonder if the way you are feeling is partly because you think it’s beneath you. You mention that you had a much ‘better’ job before.

I’ve worked in similar roles before and personally I never minded ordinary food cleaning up. Poo on the floor in the loo is another matter

Its something you learn to expect any group of mums with young children will leave a mess. You shouldnt feel humiliated as a waitress you will no doubt encounter worse its not your fault!

Q

Bunch of tramps.. Can't believe there's actually posts excusing this, lack of manners and common decency at its finest.

I'm disgusted at the amount of people who do this. Especially when there are signs asking you to leave your tray with stuff on at a certain area. Is it not enough that the food is cooked and brought out to you.

Some people have a different social education sadly. I've always tidied up after my children since I'm an adult! Except when the lovely v young waitress in Pizza Hut shooed me away waving her dustpan when I was under the high chair picking up dd1 Salad sprayed everywhere! Not haute cuisine but always think Pizza Hut is very sympathetic to toddlers

When it comes to toddlers they make a mess it cant be helped and food on the floor is a given. As a former server the only time I ever felt humiliated was when I took food to a table where one mum was breastfeeding which I didnt realise until at the table, cant remember seeing anything but do remember being called a pervert, disgusting and a freak as I walked away! A server will generally be the lowest of the low to customers you've just got to remember youre paid enough to care.

A while ago I had a lovely lunch in Gordon Ramsey's restaurant at Heathrow Airport before a flight overseas, lovely that is until a couple at another table decided the table would be a good place to change their baby's nappy! I do so wish Gordon had been there that day.