to feel humiliated by mums leaving pub tables in a state

[Servernotslave]

I’m a waitress and today I felt so demoralised by the state the the table was left in by a group of 4 mums out for a £6.99 sandwich meal deal in the chain pub I work in; High chairs left caked in food, the floor covered in rice and grated cheese and other snacks, used wet wipes all over the table but not used to clean up even a tiny bit.

My children are 11&12 now but I never would have left a table like that, I’d have asked for a dustpan or if they offered to clean it I’d have left a tip and apologised.

I’m overworked and underpaid like a lot of jobs, I used to be a buyer in London but following a shit divorce i waitress locally because it currently fits in with the kids. I’m a smiley person and do my best to give really good service and go the extra mile however I couldn’t hide my disdain today and noticed one of the women had left her bank card on the floor, I ran out of to the car park to hand it back and said “Whilst I was picking your food off the floor I found this”.
She said thanks but tbh I wish I’d just left it behind bar so she would be inconvenienced collecting it- it’s so unlike me to think like this.

It took me 15 minutes to make the table presentable again whilst I also had food to run and other customers to serve- 25 other tables actually! I’m really questioning how a group of mums with toddlers made me feel so worthless.

Another table had left quavers all over the windowsill and another table had let their kids snap crayons everywhere.

It’s normally a nice pub with a great regular clientele but now I’m just dreading the build up to Christmas if it’s going to be like this every shift as more mums pile for get togethers and give no thought to how it feels to pick up mess like this in front of other customers.

AIBU to expect people to have a bit more decorum or is it my job unconditionally?

Thanks for the explanation katseyes7, I am sorry I read your comment completely wrong.

howabout clearing in a Silver Service establishment and the local cafe where customers generally carry some of the food to the table on a tray themselves are completely different. In the second case piling plates and cups neatly either on the table or a tray helps the staff as they do not do Silver Service style clearing up. I am surprised diners in a Silver Service establishment would not be aware of the way things were done in that kind of restaurant.

On a completely unrelated note my dh did Silver Service waiting in his youth and he can still do that multi plate carrying thing, total carnage would ensue if I attempted it.

Fellow waitress here and of course YANBU!
Whenever people leave the table in a state we wonder what sort of a pig sty their house must be. Disgusting.

Also just want to say that if your child is sick then it is nobody's job but yours to clean it up. Vomit is full of bacteria and (even when using gloves and washing hands thoughrally afterwards) cleaning it up can make someone very unwell and the bacteria can then be passed on to the food/drinks that person is serving. We are told to refuse to clean up vomit. If your child is sick then PLEASE ask a member of staff for the stuff to clean it up and do it yourself. Staff can mop up afterwards though.
The amount of times a kid has been sick and the parent just sits there looking at me and waiting for me to clean it up is ridiculous.

Don’t feel humiliated. They are clearly disgusting human beings. I had the same thing with a group of mums and wanted to hug an elderly lady who clearly voiced her disgust no realising they were near by. Never did see the group of mums after that! One of them even had the cheek to laugh, flick her hair and clearly voice her opinion on how it’s my duty and what I got paid for. Felt like sweeping it all up and dumping it in her lap saying your kid your mess! Cows and llamas have better manners!

I don’t eat out with one set of friends since their eldest was weaned. They let him chuck food everywhere and don’t make any attempt whatsoever to tidy up the table let alone the floor. It’s incredibly embarrassing.

It’s strange because they’re lovely people but take the attitude that clean up is included in the price of the meal so don’t see why they should do it. I spent many student years waitressing and neither of them ever have so maybe they don’t understand what a hard job it is.

I always tidy up and always tip!

When we mop up sick the mop head has to be changed and the bucket thoughrally disenfected. I think people don't realise what a health hazard vomit is in a place that serves food.

Yanbu OP
It's common courtesy. I always stack, sort out cutlery etc. If there are lots of napkins I'll bunch them all up together. Just to make life a little easier for the person clearing up.
Yes it's a treat to eat out, and one of the things you pay for is the experience of not having to cook / clean up.. but manners cost nothing.
If it took you 15 mins to clear it up they must have left it in some shit state. No need!

Where are all the strident non tippers? Not on this thread I think.

@RedDogsBeg No worries at all.

I've worked as a waitress in chain restaurant and I've worked as a prostitute. Some of the women I served as a waitress treated me worse than some of the I saw as a prostitute.

I was just about to make the point about sick.

I had the misfortune to be in the position when my youngest was sick on the table and over the floor. After sorting her out I got spray and paper and cleaned the floor, table (including underneath) and the high hair. It was all in the straps not envy

The member of staff who had given me the stuff looked a bit bemused and hung around asking if she could help which was kind. She then went to take the pile of cleaning paper away until I grabbed it. She was obviously just confused at someone doh g it themselves.

Literally at the same moment a child behind us was sick. The family moved tables and left it lying on the ground without telling anyone. Someone else approached a member of staff and asked for it to be cleaned.

Having said that I was also once out with eldest when she was a baby and she gagged on food I didn’t know she had in her mouth. She sort of choked initially to the point where all the staff ran over then she threw up. One woman launched her arm into the flow yelling “save the teddy!”. They were extremely kind and had it mopped up pretty much as it was happening.

Anyway. My long and dull stories are really just to say that waiting staff are there to serve food and clear tables. I like eating out and I like clean tables so surely it helps me to be polite, kind and courteous.

Mummies like this are so vile. 🤢

They should have to lick it all clean with their tongues.

That's disgusting OP.

Sorry you had to deal with it. I've actually commented before on the mess a trio of mum's left as they were leaving. They looked embarrassing and muttered something about it being "their" job.

Such a disgusting attitude. It shouldn't be about whose job is what it should be about trying to make others lives easier by not being a complete fucking pig.

It's terrible behaviour. I waitressed whilst I was a student and very rarely saw this (15 years ago!), but I notice now that parents now more likely to take young kids out to pubs and restaurants so I have seen it more. I was always on the floor picking up food when my dc dropped stuff. Clearing plates, wiping high chairs (after baby's face), not to clean it but just to make it look presentable!

OP I think you are being a little sensitive really. Here is a great clip on customer care.

I do think the lady in the background on the left at 01:25 was a bit rude for talking to the waiter with her mouth full though.

Scumbags

Some people are just lazy. I always clean up after my toddler and that was vital when she was a baby as she made more mess. I’d have been embarrassed to leave a table in a state and noticed other mums often did. Now my child’s a bit older (and more civilised) my general rule of thumb is if she’s dropped more than an average adult then I will clean it up

The problem is people think servers are servants.
YANBU.
Some people are disgusting

Thinking more about this, I remember being in a cafe with some friends and our toddlers. One friend suddenly must have seen something in her (toilet-training) son's face, as she grabbed him and ran for the door. As she ran little blobs of poop were falling down his trouser leg! She looked at me, I shouted "go, go!" and set about clearing up the pool with baby wipes and dog poo bags . The horrified looks all around made me giggle. The guy running the cafe was young and was soooo thankful to me for cleaning up, I think he thought he would have to do it!

YANBU at all!

I really don't understand how people like that cannot feel at least a tiny bit ashamed about the mess they have left and at least make a bit of an effort to clean & tidy before they leave.

Once I remember a family with 3 young children (incl toddler twins) in local chain pub for Sunday lunch- their kids left virtually their entire dinner plates on the floor, scattered around the high chairs.

At the end of their meal they just got up and left, not a word of apology to the lovely waitress who just stood there open mouthed.

I get it if you're on you're own abc your baby/toddler is having a massive meltdown and you've just got to get out there and then.

But watching 2 apparently able bodied adults just leave a frankly disgusting mess for someone else to clear up, I couldn't believe it.

I know they were eating out and I know they were paying for their meal but I mean, come on, that's just pure laziness and quite frankly disgusting manners.

OP I totally sympathise with you!

YANBU whatsoever. I have a 2 year old and always scoop up food from off the floor with a wet wipe & wipe over the high chair.

And genuinely the only reason I do that is because I would feel embarrassed leaving it that way.

That reminds, I was in a McDonalds several months ago, it was packed and DC1 and I were waiting in the queue.

I was scanning the place for somewhere to sit. Saw a woman with her young daughter- who promptly vomited on the table!

The woman got up quickly with her child and just left, didn't even make a stab at wiping/cleaning the table.

I was completely

Then I forced DC1 to get a takeaway meal, I felt so repulsed by what I saw!

I used to work in a hotel and I remember the state the restaurant would be left in. I really can't imagine people smearing butter all over the table in their own homes, I suppose they do it because they go out and dont give a f**k. I saw some really 'posh' families eating like total pigs, it was quite eye opening to see how people lack manners regardless of their background.

Seriously though....I do remember being in a chinese restaurant on Hampstead hill 20 or so years ago and a couple a bit worse for alcohol starting snogging mid meal. They then passed food between their mouths before attempting to shag on a round table in the middle of the other diners. The table promptly collapsed and the image I have is of prawn balls and rice strewn everywhere as eventually one of the waiters decided enough was enough and threw them out. They were on first date apparently!!

When my kids were little there were sometimes that it would end up messy. I tried my best but I would usually be on my own as a single mom with a 2 & 4 yr old just needing to get out of the house.

I would always clean the best I could, apologize profusely and leave a large tip. At least 20%.

My servers were always appreciative of my efforts and my efforts. There was never any dirty diapers, yuck. Wipes from cleaning up, yes, but always on plates or other appropriate places for garbage. I would clean up everything as best as I could. Pick up the worst of the droppings etc.

Same when I went out with sever PPD. I was really struggling but needed to get out. It would get messy sometimes but I always apologized to the server and tipped well.

My boys are now 10 & 12. They are as a whole well behaved and fairly neat. We pick up after ourselves. We thank the server for their service and if service was overtly good we let the manager know. Even the boys have asked to speak to the manager on occasion when service has been exceptionally good.

Too many times people only hear the negative! I make sure they also hear the positive.

I still tip well. I am also in Canada so it is a tipping society in almost everything.