To ask if you can be attractive and fat?

[Needinghonestynow]

I am pretty overweight at the moment. I just cannot seem to stick to a diet for any length of time, have a Fitbit which has helped a bit in terms of daily activity but I know it’s mostly about food. I’m very lonely so eat.

I feel so ugly. I have nice hair, eyes, teeth, but it feels I am just drowned in fat

Can you be attractive and overweight?

I honestly don’t think what size you are has much to do with attractiveness. I have been both ‘curvy’ and now very slim, but still don’t turn heads and never have. Whereas I know bigger people that attract lots of attention.

My new girlfriend is a size 20-22. She has wobbly bits. I don’t care. I love every square inch of her because of who she is a woman. It is her amazing warmth and personality that make her attractive not her size. If you have a connection with someone you find them attractive, even if not “ your usual type”

Yes you can be.....I know some absolutely stunningly beautiful people who are all plus sized. It's about you as a person and how you feel about yourself - learn to love yourself and then others will follow!

I think attractiveness is as more about how you make others feel than how you look.

I couldn’t. Anything over 10 stone goes straight to my chin. However, my DB’s girlfriend was very much in the obese weight range and still utterly gorgeous; just really pretty with beautiful hair and skin and still noticeable waist/hips curvature. She’s lost a lot of weight recently (but is still overweight by BMI calculations) she looks happier and her body looks healthier but her face is just the same amount of pretty.
Some people can carry extra weight well.

I'll be honest I've never had an overweight partner

"It is an unrealistic weight PeachCokeZero if you visit the gym daily, log everything you eat, consime 1500 cals a day even on gym days and still struggle to maintain that weight."

But this kind of life is what would have been normal a few decades ago when everyone walked or cycled everywhere, jobs were active and there wasn't junk food everywhere. It's an effort these days because our lives have become more sedentary and junk food snacking more common.

I maintain my healthy weight without strictly monitoring my calorie intake. Not everyone needs to be at the very bottom of healthy BMI range to be healthy, most of those who want to be there are making that choice for aesthetic reasons not health ones.

"I am 5ft 2 and just under 9st. I am a largish frame, big hands and feet, long legs short body and hour glass shape 26 in waist with an E-F cup bust."

Sounds like you have a small waist for your weight and an hour glass figure so I can see why you'd want to stay the weight you are rather than losing any.

"most of those who want to be there are making that choice for aesthetic reasons not health ones."

You sound like you disapprove of that Seren.

I don’t, but they should admit that and not make out they are doing it for health reasons.

Tess is a size 22. She’s gorgeous!
www.milkmanagement.co.uk/talent/louise-boyce/499-tess-

She has a very pretty face, but morbid obesity is not attractive - I consider her body to be grotesque, not something to be celebrated

"they should admit that and not make out they are doing it for health reasons."

Who doesn't admit it though? The thread is about attractiveness and not health anyway.

I do actually think there's a health aspect as well. If you exercise a lot because you want to look good in a dress, it's likely to be very good for your health. Also, it's easier to keep to a healthy weight than lose weight once you're overweight so I think there's a health argument for not being at the top end of the healthy range as well.

I'm within the healthy weight range, but am close to the top end of the waist size (31.5 inches) for diabetes risk so there would still be a health reason for me to lose weight.

Also, it's easier to keep to a healthy weight than lose weight once you're overweight so I think there's a health argument for not being at the top end of the healthy range as well.

It depends on your frame size and body shape - Apple etc. It’s not as simple as the lower your BMI the better.

Yes, you can.

Also, it's easier to keep to a healthy weight than lose weight once you're overweight so I think there's a health argument for not being at the top end of the healthy range as well.

That’s not logical. If it’s the ‘healthy range’, it’s healthy.

"I am 5ft 2 and just under 9st. I am a largish frame, big hands and feet, long legs short body and hour glass shape 26 in waist with an E-F cup bust."

Sorry this confused me, long legs & 5ft 2? Do you mean you are in proportion & don’t have a long torso?

"It’s not as simple as the lower your BMI the better."

I never said that Seren.

I thought that recent studies showed its healthier & you live longer if your BMI is 25-26 as opposed to 18-19?

"I think there's a health argument for not being at the top end of the healthy range as well.

That’s not logical. If it’s the ‘healthy range’, it’s healthy."

If you're in the healthy range by just a pound or two, like I was a few months ago, one big mean would make you overweight so I think it's better to settle safely within the healthy range than be right at the top of it.

"I thought that recent studies showed its healthier & you live longer if your BMI is 25-26 as opposed to 18-19?"

I think older people are supposed to have higher BMI, but am not sure of all ages. In any case, you'd have to balance it with the health risks of being overweight.

That makes sense so does BMI of 25 mean overweight?

BMI does confuse me DH is overweight as he’s 6ft 2 & 17 stone but his frame is massive & he doesn’t actually have many inches to pinch.

i’m 5ft 9 & my face looks the same between 9 1/2 & 11 stone, over it I get a double chin & under 9.7 I don’t look right.

I've been fat and also very thin. Right now I'm pretty much a healthy weight.

Whilst we all know the health risks associated with obesity, it's really unfair and judgemental to expect people not to have a life, try and find a relationship, have a social life, career, interest in fashion - whatever, just because they are overweight.

I also would say as someone who worked in fashion & did some modelling it’s really unattractive when people (m & f) obsess about over food & blow off social occasions due to food options & exercise