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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I don’t owe my colleague an apology?

296 replies

Slytherdor · 22/11/2018 09:46

I will start by saying this is very petty, but this woman has form for being irritating, so I’m sticking to my guns where I might normally let it go.

Just to set the scene for you briefly- there’s a TV show I loved a few years back, stopped watching because they killed off a particular character who I thought was essential to why it was so good. I had no urge to watch it without them. (won’t say the show or character in case someone has just started watching!)

Anyway. This morning I was in the kitchen at work making coffee, there were two colleagues in there discussing this show. The first one (hereafter referred to as CC, crazy colleague) had evidently convinced the other colleague (OC) to watch this show, and they were both talking about how great it was. I was minding my own business. Eventually, CC turns to me and says ‘oh Slytherdor, you MUST watch this show.’

I responded that I actually used to love it, but stopped after season X due to the character death. She responds ‘watch season Y’. I again enforced that I didn’t want to due to character death. She goes ‘trust me, watch season Y.’

I am now pretty intrigued, so I say ‘are they not really dead? I will definitely watch it if so!’ she just gives me a weird smile and says again ‘trust me, watch season Y’.

I say ‘are they alive?’ and she again repeats ‘trust me, watch season Y’ with the same weird face. At this point I genuinely can’t tell if the person is still alive, or if she’s just so passionate about this show and trying to get me to watch it. I therefore say ‘are they alive? I’ll watch it if they are alive again, I won’t if they aren’t.’ her response?

‘trust me, watch season Y’.

I’m now starting to get pretty irritated. I don’t want to be forced into watching this show just because she thinks I should, and the fact that I am politely asking over and again and getting the same line back is annoying me.

I say ‘I have no interest in watching if they aren’t alive CC, but I defo will if they are. Are they?’

‘trust me, watch season Y’

SAME WEIRD SMILE.

I then say ‘look, I will literally watch it tonight if they are, just tell me.’

‘trust me, watch season Y’

So I just shrug. ‘I’ll leave it, then. But I agree it was a great show.’

I turn back to my coffee, and she goes ‘TRUST ME SLYTHERDOR, WATCH SEASON Y’.

The OC laughs a little nervously and says ‘you will want to watch….’

CC cuts her off shrieking ‘spoilers!!!’

I laugh a bit. ‘it’s ok, I asked to be spoiled, I specifically want to know as I would be frustrated to watch it and waste my time if they aren’t alive. Are they?’

‘trust me, watch season Y’.

Oh man, I was so annoyed by now. So I get out my phone. ‘that’s fine, I’ll just google it. Thanks for the heads up.’

She then KNOCKS THE PHONE OUT OF MY HAND and shrieks ‘no, spoilers!!!!!’

I was aghast, and so angry that she had not only hit me (lightly tbf) but also knocked my phone on the ground. I said ‘are you serious? I can’t even spoil it for myself? I want to know!’

She says ‘why can’t you just trust me!’ and I say ‘because I can’t tell if they are alive or you are just trying to make me watch it, and I really don’t want to waste my time.’

She literally glares at me. So I laugh a little, pick up my coffee and leave. She makes this weird growling, shrieking, frustrated noise as I walk off- very bizarre.

Anyway, just now, I got an IM from OC. ‘don’t tell CC I told you, but they are alive!’

By this point I have googled it, but I am still grateful to her for telling me so I say I am very thankful to her and assure her I will watch, we discuss the show a bit.

I then say ‘that was so weird, why wouldn’t she just tell me’.

She replies ‘I know, she gets very passionate about it. She was upset you didn’t trust her, but she’ll be fine if you apologise.’

I’m like, what? I’m not apologising! She hit me!

She’s just said ‘I know, that was crazy. She won’t let it go if you don’t though.’

I replied that I don’t particularly care if she won’t let it go, I am not apologising for asking to know what happens in a TV show.

She just replied ‘fair enough’ with a smile emoji, and that’s that.

I clearly think this woman is insane and have no wish to apologise to her for this whole scenario. I find the whole thing very childish but I really resent the idea that I owe her an apology, especially since she hit me on the hand. However, the fact that OC suggested I apologise is making me question myself.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
squishymuffin · 22/11/2018 10:31

Outlander

Mookatron · 22/11/2018 10:31

@Slytherdor I actually really enjoyed your description of the conversation. The 'just trust me. Watch season 5' or whatever irritated me just reading it.

Of course its not worth getting upset about but really, what in everyday office life is? You've got to entertain yourself somehow eh.

ambereeree · 22/11/2018 10:31

Don't apologise. Wind your colleague up by now becoming the biggest fan in the office...indeed you introduced the show to her.

JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 22/11/2018 10:32

I didn’t even click on your link! I couldn’t believe it either when Michael popped back up!

stressedoutpa · 22/11/2018 10:32

You sound like children.

JessicaJonesJacket · 22/11/2018 10:32

You both owe OC an apology for keeping that conversation going for so long!
And tbh I think you edged it slightly in the batshit stakes. She wanted to give you a nice surprise. You wanted her to spoil that surprise. All you had to do was smile and google later.
I'm sure there's a lesson here about accepting gifts (even a gift of a surprise resurrection) graciously . . . or maybe about constantly googling your favourite shows if there's a chance someone might come back . . .

WinterfellWench · 22/11/2018 10:33

WOW, I just spent 5 minutes of my life that I can never get back reading that. Confused

And it's obviously Jon Snow/Game of Thrones.

emwithme · 22/11/2018 10:35

I came to name that show...And I can't wait until next season to see how they resolve the triangle!

Slytherdor · 22/11/2018 10:38

@Mookatron indeed! I typed it all out for another colleague who had half overheard and wanted to hear what happened, and once I had done that I thought, sod it, let's see what mumsnet thinks.

@JessicaJonesJacket I take your point, and as I said, with anyone else I would have immediately assumed- but this is the kind of woman who just likes to force people to her will, and I got my backup as a result.

@WinterfellWench not GOT. They could kill the whole cast and I would keep watching. Except maybe Lyanna Mormont.

OP posts:
LuluJakey1 · 22/11/2018 10:38

At work you say? Not enough work for you all to do.

hartof · 22/11/2018 10:38

Definitely worth a watch!

beeefcake · 22/11/2018 10:38

What show is it?!

PurpleDaisies · 22/11/2018 10:38

I’m sure I dealt with this argument the other day.

I am a primary school teacher.

PuppyMonkey · 22/11/2018 10:39

The first time she said "trust me, you'll want to watch Season 3" or whatever it was, you should just have said: "Ok, then" and googled it. Or at least by the second time, once you knew she wasn't going to let it lie and was on the wind up. I don't think you owe anyone an apology though, just move on. Confused

AppleKatie · 22/11/2018 10:41

She’s crazy. I wouldn’t apologise! I also wouldn’t get drawn into a long conversation with her again.

minisoksmakehardwork · 22/11/2018 10:45

A friend of mine did this with Spooks. Stopped watching it cos her favourite character 'died'. Given it was a show about spies you could kind of see it coming that the character would be back. Friend was gutted when I told her he hadn't. But at least she got to carry on enjoying the programme.

LettuceP · 22/11/2018 10:49

You both sound like really hard work.

TakeMeToKernow · 22/11/2018 10:51

Quite mad, the lot of ya.

It’s Unreasonable for it to even occur to someone that an event that requires an apology has happened.

I recommend all future interactions with these colleagues should simply involve nodding and backing away.

midsomermurderess · 22/11/2018 10:54

The Good Wife was what I thought at first, Will. Not so sure now, as his death was never in doubt. The whole exchange sounds mad though, quite quite mad.

viques · 22/11/2018 10:56

Wow, both of you sound very over invested in a tv show. Why don't you try investing in real life for a change?

HoppingPavlova · 22/11/2018 10:58

I think we would all love to have lives where this was actually an issue.

Rachelover40 · 22/11/2018 10:59

Did they kill Kenny eventually?

X-files?

Not worth worrying about and, no, you don't owe anyone an apology but don't get so uptight (& do watch season Y, you don't know what you're missing, trust me ;) ).

TrickyKid · 22/11/2018 11:00

Did I really just waste my time reading that. Is it Grange Hill?

katsudon · 22/11/2018 11:02

Slight tangent but the moment you mentioned that show, I thought it was back on only to be sorely disappointed that I've still got to wait a bit more to find out what happens in the other ongoing storyline!

jay55 · 22/11/2018 11:03

What if she'd broken your phone? She's nutso.

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