To say I understand why some people don’t pay child maintenance? X

[princessmum1]

Just that really. It seems crazy that child maintenance is not means tested beyond anything other than income. It doesn’t matter if your mortgage/rent or your ex partners is £2000 a month or £300 a month you’ll b expected to pay the same amount. Seems odd when you compare it to benefits that are very much means tested based on everything.

Get yourself a boyfriend with some morals.

Your "friend"s exs finances are none of his business. Nor is how she manages them.

It actually sounds like she's being very sensible, living with family to save money on rent and childcare, (I highly doubt she's not contributing ANYTHING - though that's still none of his business), going to uni so that she'll likely be able to get a decent well paid job after, having the children cared for by people who love them.

£50 per week - I think you mean that's what's left after rent/mortgage/household bills and maintenance is more than many have. He needs to learn to cut his cloth and quit whinging about supporting (well nominally contributing to the support of as it won't be anywhere near half the costs of raising) HIS children.

Well, he's welcome to ask for full custody of the child, if that helps him and it means that much to him... if she is so very well off she won;t mind paying child maintenance at all.

Is it even possible to claim £200 a week in UC if you are living rent free with family and have no childcare costs?

And what gimmegimme said.

You've only got the "info" about the rp 3rd hand from a very biased source.

You have absolutely no reason to believe any of it.

princessmum1 Fri 12-Oct-18 20:23:02
I don’t think there’s anything right with child maintenance. I will have to pay £300 a month. On top of this due to my ex moving away I will spend over £600 a month to see my daughter. This is far more than it would actually cost me to look after her. I still have a mortgage, pretty much the same bills etc. It just doesn’t seem to work either way. And completely depends on the other persons corcumstnaces e.g. makes a massive difference if resident parent is paying for full time childcare.

Your bf should pay for all children he's spawned before anything else

how do you know all the ins and outs of your "friends" ex's personal life?

how do you or your "friend" know that £400 is spent on a hobby??

Ahhhh repeated gf then

Your friend's problem is more to do with low wages and extortionate housing costs, which also harm people who don't have children.

It's not the fault of the other parent that your friend is in a difficult position, and your friend should be angry with the Tories' austerity bullshit rather than the child's other parent (just like all the fucknuggets whining on about how foreigners and benefit scroungers are taking too many resources rather than directing that anger towards wealth horders and greedy financiers.)

Is your friend your boyfriend? Yes? I can’t see how they’d get that amount for universal credit either. Your point doesn’t hold up, and neither do the figures.

Never ceases to amaze me how much folk know about stranger's bank accounts

I admit, I’ve posted about friends situation before as if it was my own to see responses when a women. Was genuinely interested what people thought 🤷‍♀️ I fully agree NRP should pay 50% of upkeep of their child. Just think it should be dependant on shay upkeep actually is.

Erm actually here I am a bit torn , I've been insanely fortunate in that in recent times Exdh has paid very decently (wasn't always the case ) but I do actually agree in some situations means testing males sense.....trpuble is it's hard to cater for all situations

I esrm more than Exdh and when he was paying the full amount he was unable to afford a place to stay which hindered DC when they visited him as they had to stay in a family members house

As I can afford to I dropped his maintencae as soon as i could so he can look for a new place which will also benefit DC on their visits

No they should be means tested as if I can afford to cover their costs what is the point of putting Exdh in debt for no reason

However I entirely realise I am very lucky so surely there is a baseline of need for the dc that once it is met ,then means should become relevant

I just don't see the point in bankrupting my ex if he genuinely doesn't earn it...it would be like getting blood out of a stone on the literal sense

No £2000 rent is lifestyle choice but we are London based so asking my ex to have his own place is asking a lot of money

If it's means tested and shows I can support DC (I am excluding my DP money as we are not married and although he spends every penny he has on the dc it's not his requirement as such) why would it be acceptable to take money from Exdh for no reason

If I was means tested that I couldn't cover it of course Exdh should make up the shortfall but he has to eat and have a roof over his head

However a Exdh not paying anything when needed is the lowest of the low but surely if if the money is just not there then what good is it to insist it is

Reading CMS threads i often think the NRP withholds payments to get back at the mother. So she struggles to feed and clothe them, put her heating on etc, the NRP thinks the money is going towards nails and eyelashes and a wild nights out.

The children are totally forgotten in this. But in fact the NRP would be paying the same amount if they still lived together.

I think all nrp should pay by law, taken out of their wages.
The child has two parents whether they are together or not.
No matter what some say it's socially acceptable for people to walk away from their responsibilities, otherwise they'd be named and shamed in their communities.

What about all the self employed people who immediately switch to paying themselves minimum wage once a claim is submitted via CMS?

If it's means tested and shows I can support DC [...] why would it be acceptable to take money from Exdh for no reason

For a reason: they're still his children and his responsibility too.

Why does your ‘friend’ think his ex’s family should pay to house, clothe and feed his child and he shouldn’t contribute?

benefits that are very much means tested based on everything

Incorrect

@portiacastis you’d be amazed at how much people know once gone through court and every bank statement is presented etc during a divorce, it’s scary. 🙈

www.gov.uk/universal-credit/what-youll-get

Had a quick read and wondering where £200 per week comes from if there's no Housing Benefit or Childcare payment. (Lots of children perhaps?)

I think that there's no excuse to pay nothing.

I understand why parents might have to go halves on say travel costs but paying nothing is beyond unreasonable.

OP I am divorced and now a single parent who has had to struggle without maintenance

But isn't child maintenance actually means tested anyway? The base line figure is calculated based on the NRP payscale. Regardless of if the person is employed or not. A deduction is made even if they're on benefits (nominal £5 amount). So technically nobody gets away with just not paying. And if they try to then it's only fair it's deducted straight from earnings if passed via the courts. If someone chooses to pay over the basic rate then that's purely down to their choice. It's no good having the mindset that parent A (NRP) would be say £300 'better off a month' if they opted out of paying because parent B is 'raking it in' whilst recieving government benefits (total fallacy) as they would then have to find that £300 shortfall plus all additional costs regardless. Plus everyone else would have an increase in tax to cover the government benefits so we'd all be essentially 'paying' for the parent who refused to. It's never just about one individual set of circumstances it's about the system overall.

Yeah, your “friend’s” ex should be struggling and scraping while prostrating herself at your “friend’s” feet for every penny he cares to toss her way out the window of his mansion. Your “friend” should surely be pleased his child has a decent quality of life that he contributes to?