To say I understand why some people don’t pay child maintenance? X

[princessmum1]

Just that really. It seems crazy that child maintenance is not means tested beyond anything other than income. It doesn’t matter if your mortgage/rent or your ex partners is £2000 a month or £300 a month you’ll b expected to pay the same amount. Seems odd when you compare it to benefits that are very much means tested based on everything.

Well that could have been solved by a condom. Don’t want a child, protect yourself

Knightly - I'm guessing you weren't personally present at those conceptions? Or any discussions preceding?

In which case how do you know those children weren't planned? Or at the very least that the men hadn't even fully considered contraception?

If they're capable of having sex they're capable of using a condom! Or even getting a vasectomy. They're also perfectly capable of ABSTAINING.

The vast majority of nrps I know who don't pay cs were the parents of planned children. Up to and including children conceived with the aid of fertility treatments!

As for "no choice in the pregnancy continuing" that is and always should be the woman's choice, they're the ones living with the consequences of that choice to the greatest degree whatever choice they make.

@KnightlyMyMan but if you choose to "smush your private parts with a suitable partner" you choose to accept the consequences of that. But in any case I agree with @Graphista that most of the time the DC are planned.

Knightly if these guys don't want a child they should use a condom every single time. It's not difficult. If you don't do that then you shouldn't be allowed to run from the consequences.

I think the biggest problem is that a lot of the people who don’t pay CS (not all but a lot) didn’t ‘choose’ to have a child

They chose to have sex though....which can result in a child.

I have a FWB. We use contraception. We have discussed what would happen in the event of an accidental pregnancy. That’s what adults do.

And guess why I didn't have a child at age 21 because I didn't have sex. The UK's teenager pregnancy rate has plummeted right down. It is a big change in most cases for the better. However I am sure there are some people who get pregnant by accident or where one of them makes that happen. I know one man who was about 50 no children slept with someone he met ina pub 3 times and she got pregnant and said he was the father. She wanted children and he was one of 4 possible fathers. What I never understood is why he did not do a DNA test. He bought her a £600k house for cash and went round once a week to see the new baby, help bath it, adored it. I remember having dinner with him once asking why not have a DNA test - sure that matters? But no, he loved the child whether his or not and I am sure he is still supporting it to this day.

Xenia what makes you think that child wasn't his? Only takes once.

Xenia why are you making him out to be some sort of victim?

Could have been his but she said it could have been 3 others too. She was sleeping with rich men in Chelsea in her late 30s with the aim of getting pregant apparently. He may have been telling me a pack of lies however. He certainly didn't feel like any kind of victim at all. He loved being a father (even if the child were not genetically his). I think he was over generous and i think he should have insisted on a DNA test but that's just my view.