to ask what makes a child or teenager ‘popular?’

[borednostalgia]

I’ve always been really curious as DD1 (year 10) has always been part of a popular, well liked group of friends since year 1 ish but to a lesser degree until they turned 11/12. She’s a lovely girl in general but can be very hard to get along with as she likes to take control and can be rather mean to the less outgoing types of people. Whereas DS (year 12) and DD2 (year 8) are much more generally nice to everyone but have never really fitted in with the ‘popular’, well liked people. This is find odd and was just wondering why the popular groups are popular when they have many, many flaws.

Being a master manipulator is definitely a skill. Not nice, but definitely skilful.

This thread is interesting as it is something I have been thinking about. DD started school in September, and there is already a group of girls emerging in her class as the cool/popular ones. I don't remember it being like that when I was that age, but perhaps I was just less aware at the time! DD gets on with them and plays with them a lot, but also plays with other children in the class. I'm kind of interested to see how the land lies in a few years time, and if these girls are still the popular ones.

The “truly” popular (rather than physically aggressive and therefore feared), kids at my high school were all very attractive and had an innate confidence. Particularly the ones from more monied families. I think the term “money can’t buy class”,refers less to how you look (though it helps if you’re good looking) and more to the by birth confidence it gives you, in every aspect. Confidence is key.