To be a little hurt by my friends comments about still BF Ds?

[lizzlebizzle33]

Hi, ds1 is now 2 and hasn't BF since he was 15 months. I had a real struggle with him in the beginning, poor latch, not gaining weight but with help we pushed through and breastfeeding became a joy with him and was our mummy and baby time, especially after I went back to work.

I fell pregnant with DS 2 when ds1 was 9 months old, I happened to mention to some friends ("good" friends) that I was still BF ds1 and they were horrified. One told me that as soon as they had teeth you should stop BF, and the other just looked disgusted at me.

Needless to say if got in my head and the plan I had to try and tandem feed got washed away and I started to wean Ds.

Ds2 is now 12 mo and still BF, I can still see their disgusted faces in my head and feel like I can no longer feed him in public as people will think it's gross.

Do you think IAU to feel like this, have you had any similar comments or reactions when BF an older baby?

People are such arseholes. I’ve got several friends who breastfed past 1, and a couple who are still breastfeeding past 2. They have lovely, happy children.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

I had similar reactions but I just ignored them. Or quoted the huge number of benefits at them depending on how twatty they were to me!

Some babies are born with teeth. Just saying

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

I had similar comments from friends after feeding past six months. Luckily my family were really supportive and I carried on feeding until around 12 months with all of mine.

My friend has recently finished breastfeeding her son he is almost 2. She said she didn’t want to feed him last 1 but he was a boobie boy so getting him off it was really hard. I made no judgement of her we just used to both laugh together about it. I’d say still on the boob? And she’d roll her eyes and say yep it became a running joke. People are arseholes! Ignore your so called friends it’s non of their business anyway x

Your friends are being judgemental twats. You crack on - extended BF is valuable to baby and to you. It's perfectly natural and they need to give their heads a wobble.

These are your children and you make the choices, not your friends.
Breastfeeding until age 2 has health benefits.
I BF mine until age 2 but probably after around age 1 it was just a morning and bedtime feed at home. They didn't need any more.

I'm just here in solidarity. I'm feeding my son (18 months) and I'm 17 weeks pregnant with DC2. I might tandem feed, I might not. It depends if my son still wants it. Other people should only really comment if you're asking them to carry on feeding... Otherwise they can mind their own business.

Your friends are idiots. Don’t let their ignorance get in the way of feeding your child. Most of the general public won’t notice and won’t care anyway.

I’ve had a few comments and looks for feeding past 12 months but 99% of people are oblivious or aren’t bothered. Why let the few who have weird opinions about it take up free space in your head?

This truly is a case of whatever you do with your baby someone will always have a negative opinion about it.

I BF my DD until she was 20 months old. A friend (a good friend like yours was) told me it was extremely selfish of me not to BF her until she was at least 2 and I was putting my own convenience over the health of my child. Yes, it really upset me.

(and I bit my lip when said friend had her own children and fed them chocolate based breakfast cereal from an early age because "they would eat them and I don't want battles in the morning).

PEople will judge you for not breastfeeding, for giving up ‘too early’, for continuing for ‘too long’, etc. The conclusion is that people are judgemental idiots, ignore them.

I don't quite understand your time frames sorry. Surely they weren't pulling a face at a less than one Yr old breastfeeding? Or was it when ds2 was nearly due and your plan to tandem feed set them off? My DC were only 17months apart so similar reaction from some busybodies about how
soon l was pregnant again. Only breastfed Dc1 till 6 months though so was spared the 'still breastfeeding' tutting.

I fed DS till he was 16 months, I actually only planned to feed for 6 months but DS wouldn’t take a bottle and it was a lot easier to breast feed in the end. I only stopped because DS didn’t seem to want to feed anymore. Your friends are idiots!

Ignore your friends
I BF DD until she was over 2 years old , she only had a bedtime feed then , and maybe a mini one in the daytime
No one else’s business , though I did get some quite unpleasant comments ( which I tried to ignore , but I did find upsetting )

Don't feel bad, there was a woman on TV last week who was still breastfeeding her 8-9 year old daughter, I admit I was judgmental about that!
I breastfed all my four for differing lengths of time to suit me, do what suits you!

You need new friends!

I'm a bit stunned by the thought of breastfeeding one baby while pregnant with another. Not being judgmental, just wondering how your body would provide enough nourishment for you when it's all being directed towards babies? I may be overly influenced by the fact that I got so run-down when bf...

Do your own thing, whatever works for you. Personally, it's not for me but who cares what I think - you shouldn't car what they think either

Agree with previous posters - ignore the comments.
I bf my ds for 12 months and dd for 14 months and did not have any negative comments. My children were born in Germany and Austria - how you fed your baby didn't seem to be a big issue in these countries. My gynaecologist in Germany recommended 2 years minimum for bf.

Bahhhhhumbug a number of my friends has raised eyebrows that I was breastfeeding past 6 months, it started from about 4 months. Luckily these were school and uni friends and my mum friends were a lot more supportive.

I fed my first for 20 months (only once in the evening past around 16 months). She refused bottles and didn't like cows milk. I didn't really tell anyone after a year as even before then I got comments such as 'haven't they got teeth / don't they eat food' etc. I don't know what those people do if their 3 month old gets teeth! I also don't know why anyone else gives a shit about another parents feeding choices - the only time I think it is acceptable to have an opinion is if you're giving your kid McDonald's every day and they are obese or something. Also what harm do they think it's doing to the toddler - it's not like they will remember and somehow be physiologically damaged if they're 2. Even the term 'extended breastfeeding' is a bit wrong, it's just feeding til they naturally wean, not extending it (unless the child doesn't want it and the mother is trying to bribe them to carry on or something)

I also found it hard when I went back to work at 9 months, everyone just assumed I was ff by then and could go out on social events straight after work or go on a course for a few days when I was feeding 3x a day by then.

I am currently feeding my one year old and while sometimes it's a pain, she recently has had a few nasty illnesses and sickness bugs etc and I'm glad it's one way I can feel like I'm helping her

As to your 'friends' even if they did have an opinion on it, it's very rude to mention it especially when it's so ill informed

If you're on Facebook, join the group breastfeeding older babies and beyond. loads of people there feeding beyond infancy. Then you won't feel like you're the only one.

Are you confident that you are doing the right thing for your child in your circumstances?

Does your partner (if you have one) support your choice to continue to breastfeed?

Is your child happy to breastfeed?

If the answer is yes to all the above I would suggest you look into why their opinions bother you?
What is it that they do that means their opinion rates higher than yours (and your partner)?
Do you agree with all their parenting choices? If not, why does this (uneducated and ignorant) opinion weigh so heavily?

Thank you everyone 😄 obviously in my head I know to ignore these comments from so called friends but they still get to me. None of them even attempted BF so have no idea the stress I went through to make it past even 2 weeks! I just felt like they thought I was disgusting and weird.