To be a little hurt by my friends comments about still BF Ds?

[lizzlebizzle33]

Hi, ds1 is now 2 and hasn't BF since he was 15 months. I had a real struggle with him in the beginning, poor latch, not gaining weight but with help we pushed through and breastfeeding became a joy with him and was our mummy and baby time, especially after I went back to work.

I fell pregnant with DS 2 when ds1 was 9 months old, I happened to mention to some friends ("good" friends) that I was still BF ds1 and they were horrified. One told me that as soon as they had teeth you should stop BF, and the other just looked disgusted at me.

Needless to say if got in my head and the plan I had to try and tandem feed got washed away and I started to wean Ds.

Ds2 is now 12 mo and still BF, I can still see their disgusted faces in my head and feel like I can no longer feed him in public as people will think it's gross.

Do you think IAU to feel like this, have you had any similar comments or reactions when BF an older baby?

Nobody else's business but yours. Tell your friends to butt out.

I agree your friends are arseholes, and you should do what is right for you and baby.

I'm wondering at what age everyone else might start to raise an eyebrow? Is there an age? Just curious really, not trying to start arguments but surely everyone has an age/stage in mind when the dc wont need it anymore?

Think that’s a bit weird for people to be disgusted at bf a baby at 9mths. Certainly not a majority view. I bf both mine until about 13 mths when they seemed to lose interest. Never saw it as unusual. Do what you think is right. If friends look disgusted, either and gnome or tell them to keep their weird hang ups to themselves.

I bf'd all three of mine til they were 2. I did not GAF what anyone else thinks of that.
I had a few raised eyebrows and my family used to crow "bitty" whenever I fed them. But I laughed along tbh. It's up to you so stand by your choice - ALL parents are just doing the best they can x

...ignore it, that should read, not ‘gnome’...!

The reduction in risk of breast cancer is maximised when you feed for over a year due to breast cells being too busy making milk to mutate and if it stops your cycle there is a reduction of oestrogen which they believe is the reason why cells change.
After 1 year I got my cycle back so I knew that the oestrogen benefits were complete for me. My son certainly wasnt ready for stopping then so we kept going until 17 months when he was more easily distracted and sometimes forgot to feed so frequently. He stopped without any tears and I'm happy that I felt we were both ready.

DerelictWreck - there’s a point past where I wouldn’t want to be breastfeeding any more, but I wouldn’t be raising an eyebrow at other people for having a different one.

Just forget what others say - you can’t win when it comes to feeding your baby. Do what suits you!

@DerilectWreck

in my experience, up until 6 months it's all praise (except from older ladies within one's extended family, who will continue to talk about them being hungry and banging on about 'just one bottle at night' or start in about baby rusks etc from about 12 weeks or less).

After that everyone wants to know when you're going to 'switch' to formula like this is a natural progression but it's pretty gentle.

Once they can walk (my DD started around 10 months) it really ramps up. People look shocked when your toddler climbs onto your lap and 'asks'. you get a lot of 'jokey' remarks about 'bit old for that', 'once they can ask for it it's time to stop' etc and people staring fixedly at a point just left of your head when talking to you. Anything wrong with your child - illness, sleep, food refusal, clinginess, tantrums - is put down to breastfeeding. Anything wrong with your relationship is put down to breastfeeding. People totally lose all comprehension that this is something you WANT to be doing, and say lots of 'well you can stop when/if...' as if you are itching to stop at the first opportunity.

And yes after 12 months you become a lumbering, leaking child molester with some arcane, unspecified agenda which has nothing to do with your child's wellbeing. the 'breastfeeding ogre' stage. It's fun this one, and it seems to last until you stop.

Your friends are nuts. Just ignore. There's a reason the first teeth are called 'milk teeth' because children are designed to be fed until they get ready to fall out at age 5/6, which really is the more natural weaning age from an evolutionary standpoint.

But we all have those nutty friends. I have a breastfeeding nazi friend who believes that mothers who choose to formula feed should have their babies removed by social services (yes, you read that right). I had to stop breastfeeding my first at 10 weeks due to a medical issue of my own and her words haunted me for a long time (not said to me, but as a comment to someone else that I overheard). But my ds is 9 months and has plenty of teeth and no plans to stop feeding him anytime soon. So keep doing what you're doing. And maybe get new friends.

People will judge you however you feed your baby. I have never breastfed due to complications I had giving birth and I still get comments like, ‘you never breastfed, did you not even try?!’ Or ‘your poor baby’

My poor baby is fine and funnily enough no I didn’t even try after nearly dying from blood loss during the birth.

Basically, people are knobs and seem to think they are entitled to an opinion on how your baby is fed. Don’t give it any more thought. If you and your baby are happy then just carry on.

Please ignore them OP. I never breastfed but my three year old DS is an absolute milk monster and still drinks tons of it and myself and DH were just saying last week that if I had breastfed him he would be still probably be wanting breast milk.

My DD turned 2 in September and I am still feeding her, struggling to give up tbh,

I'm in the same boat OP. Fed my first until 13 months, & only stopped so I could get my cycle back to try for no. 2. BFing her now at 8 months.
I totally agree that you should do what works for you & your baby/family. ....BUT I always think I would love to have some pithy responses for 'friends' who do comment, or question my BF choices. I don't want to start a row, but would be great to stop them in their tracks with a clever reply & get them to butt out! 😛

Yes, I fed newborn DS at a baby group. Every single woman there agreed , laughingly and in front of me, that I was weird.

I wish I'd had a snappy retort, but I didn't .

Can you find a toddler group where people might be more supportive? Your friends are so mean! You should be super proud of yourself for doing something that works for you and your baby.

Marcipex what a bunch of ignorant bullies. Well done on making your choice for your baby despite peer pressure like that.

They sound really weird.
Firstly - it's totally normal and I would have thought fairly common to feed past 12mnth (I fed both of mine until long past and have severla friends and family members who fed past 2yrs)
Secondly - why on earth do they think it is any of their business how you feed your baby ? They need to butt out and leave you alone. What idiots.

If breastfeeding isnt the norm for your friends and family you do start getting comments because they don't get it and probably haven't seen a toddler feeding. I must admit I never thought I would be for so long and might gave thought a 2 year feeding was odd pre having children. I had some groups of friends make comments and faces (all ff or bf for a few days only) but nct friends all bf or mix Fed and were totally supportive. My 1st DC self weaned when I was 15weeks pregnant with no 2 aged almost 2. Good luck x

Can't believe anyone is still so old fashioned that they think 12 months is old for still BF. BF should continue for as long as it feels right for both you and your DC

Only read the OP.... I BF my DD until she was a few weeks off 3 years old. Currently BF my 3 month old DS and no plans to stop before he’s 2, after that I’ll jusy see how we go.

Your friends don’t sound very bright or well informed. Ask them why it is weird or disgusting to feed them human milk but not the breast milk of another species (cows)???

It is the NORMAL way to feed an infant and the World Heath Organisation recommends exclusive BF for 6 months and then alongside solid food for 2+ years for optimum nutrition

You’re doing grand OP

www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/infant-and-young-child-feeding

My daughter breastfed hers till they were three