To be a little hurt by my friends comments about still BF Ds?

[lizzlebizzle33]

Hi, ds1 is now 2 and hasn't BF since he was 15 months. I had a real struggle with him in the beginning, poor latch, not gaining weight but with help we pushed through and breastfeeding became a joy with him and was our mummy and baby time, especially after I went back to work.

I fell pregnant with DS 2 when ds1 was 9 months old, I happened to mention to some friends ("good" friends) that I was still BF ds1 and they were horrified. One told me that as soon as they had teeth you should stop BF, and the other just looked disgusted at me.

Needless to say if got in my head and the plan I had to try and tandem feed got washed away and I started to wean Ds.

Ds2 is now 12 mo and still BF, I can still see their disgusted faces in my head and feel like I can no longer feed him in public as people will think it's gross.

Do you think IAU to feel like this, have you had any similar comments or reactions when BF an older baby?

Don’t let them get to you OP! Their opinions are just wrong and rather stupid. They’re not real friends. Avoid just as you would avoid people with other toxic views.

World health organisation recommends up to two years and beyond. A lot of people aren't educated about breastfeeding so make incorrect judgements

DD1 weaned at 3y2m by herself her sister was born
DD2 at 3y8m still has a bit of 'booboo' at bedtime - I am ready to stop that but maybe after christmas... she can sleep when i'm not here or when i was ill we just held hands to sleep, but she still asks...

So basically stop when you AND your child are ready not when friends say so...

I still feed mine at 2 1/2. She loves it though and I know it would be a major battle if I tried to stop her at the moment. Only nighttime though really.

I find the most judgmental people are the ones who’ve never breastfed. I was the same before I’d actually breastfed.

I guess it weighs so heavily on me because they are my best friends, I have known them for over 20 years, I try not to let what others think affect me but to be honest it does!

Because of their reaction to me still feeding ds1 while 5 mo pregnant with Ds2 I don't mention I'm still BF ds2 at 12mo.

I'm all honesty I would like to stop now, it's been a long 3 years of being pregnant and breastfeeding and I would like my body back but ds2 is still heavily night feeding and waking and although I've been told if I stop BF he will sleep through the night I want to wait for him to be ready to give it up.

People are idiots. I have friends who BF past 3. Not my body, not my issue.

Carry on doing what works for you and baby. If anyone says anything point out that as you're not asking them to do it, it doesn't really matter if thry like it or not.

If you've had enough OP it's OK to stop. What if DS2 isn't ready to stop until he's gone 3? He won't suffer for you stopping it, but you will of you force yourself to continue for another couple of years

Get new supportive friends.

Reading this whilst currently feeding my nearly 3 year old. Ignore, ignore. NHS recommendation is 2 years & beyond. There's some great online support - if you're on Facebook go to breastfeeding older babies and beyond or follow Milk Meg. Both will offer invaluable support.

Please ignore, OP, it is your decision alone and none of anyone else's business. If you want to stop for your own reasons, then that is more than ok too.

Thankfully I've never had any comments from friends, only my Mum occasionally. But DD breastfed until around her 2nd birthday and I'm still going strong with DS, who is 15 months. Part of me is ready to stop but he is still dependent on it and keeps getting ill from nursery so I don't think it's the right time for us yet. He has had 8 teeth since before he was 6 months old so not sure how the 'no teeth' rule would have worked haha!

I would never judge anyone else for how they feed their baby, but if anyone made a particularly nasty comment, I wouldn't be above letting them know that the WHO recommends feeding for 2 years and beyond.

Your “friends” sound thick as fuck
You, on the other hand are doing a great job. Be proud of being a mother to a baby that is part of the tiny - sorry appalling - 0.5 % fed beyond 1 year. I am!!!

Ignore
Ignore
Ignore them.

It's no one's business other than yours. Funny how everyone has such a strong opinion about it either way. I've known people do it for much longer than that, often because they couldn't wean the baby/toddler off.

@Eatmycheese ❤️❤️

People are idiots, but don't be too hard on them,society has done a number on them. From an early age we're told that breasts are sexual and to be covered up, and before marketing formula was banned it was advertised as the best thing ever. It's so normalised in our society that your friends don't even realise it's wrong, and that breastfeeding is completely natural and normal till age 2 and beyond.

I still bf DS (16 months) in public and I've never yet had a negative comment or funny look, I think most people these days understand that they should keep their non-PC catsbumface to themselves.

I could've written your post. I really struggled to bf dd1 and then did it for about two years. I gave up when I was pregnant with dd2. Then I bf dd2 for about two years. I know that it's socially frowned on so I rarely told people. I loved having all that time cuddling my children, they also co slept, another thing people love to criticise!

Keep doing what you're doing and ignore your 'friends'.

I’m sorry that your so called best friends are so small minded and judgmental. My son is 3.5 and still bf at bedtime. People can be so hurtful and frankly dumb. Please don’t let it get to you. I hear you though when you say you are tired of it now and I’m in a similar position. That said, when it stops you’ll mourn its loss. My son is my last baby and I know from the others that although it can be hard at the time when that part of the relationship ends and moves on it can be strange. Good luck and please don’t let people who know literally nothing about breastfeeding (because they didn’t even do it!), second guess your choices. It’s your relationship with your kids. NOT theirs. p.s I’d be tempted to get new friends.

Having been bitten while bf my ds i do get why some people stop when bittenrather painful

My dd is 3 days old and im pretty sure she has teeth coming through- not going to stop me feeding her

But its your body and your choice

They sound thick

Do your friends have DC? They sound like immature teenagers.

Grrr, I'm so annoyed for you. How rude for them to put those ridiculous ideas in your head. They're the weird ones, not you. I hope you can forget what they said because you've absolutely done your best for your DS and will do the same for your others. There is something wrong in Britain where a small (but judgmental) minority are uncomfortable with breastfeeding and feel the name to shame others. It also has a lot to do with upbringing.

I do understand you feeling a bit fed up with breastfeeding but hang in there (at least for as long as you think it's best for your and your baby).

Finding your tribe is so important. My DD is 22 months and I feed her wherever, whenever ( and I'm one of those awful 'exhibitionist' feeders who just get's their boob out instead of fooling around with muslins or one up/one down ). I laugh off the critical remarks from my original NCT group and the "still feeding?" remakrs when I have to take her to the doctor.

But I only have the confidence to do this because of my tight cabal of likeminded bf mums, who I channel whenever I feel judged, and hear all their voices inside me telling me I'm doing the right thing, it is good for DD and good for me and totally normal. I love them more and value their opinions more than judgemental 'friends' or shocked-looking HCPs or scowly old ladies on the bus. So I just feel their love and support course through me, smile and do my thing.

You do your thing, and sod 'em lass

Although if you're ready to stop, do make moves to do so. We sacrifice a lot to feed, and it is an act of love, but it doesn't have to be an act of duty. I nightweaned gently and it allowed me to carry on feeding and enjoy it (after I went back to work at 17 months I was so tired with all the night wakings I was considering packing it in altogether, or checking myself into a loony bin!!). Maybe try that first and see where you are then?

Fist bump to you, there is nothing disgusting about breastfeeding - it's magic!

If interested in night weaning Jay Gordon method is good if you're still co-sleeping, or can be adapted if baby is in own room (mine was).

Ignore them. I breastfed til my son was almost 2 and a half. Please try not to let their comments ruin your relationship - because that’s what breastfeeding is. Hopefully they will one day realise that how they behaved is not very friendly. X

I can't believe the negativity some people have suffered I must have been very lucky, both of mine were BF between 12-18 months and I never had a comment - DS had front teeth at 3 months! I wasn't going to stop feeding him then. I did it in public (with a blanket) and never had an issue. If you're comfortable and your children still need it then don't let these opinions get into your head and spoil it.

Your friends are arseholes and so is anybody giving you filthy looks. Personally I think around 2 is old enough to have stopped but, one year olds are still babies. I'd be tempted to do as that news story from a while back and squirt anyone who said anything!