To be a little hurt by my friends comments about still BF Ds?

[lizzlebizzle33]

Hi, ds1 is now 2 and hasn't BF since he was 15 months. I had a real struggle with him in the beginning, poor latch, not gaining weight but with help we pushed through and breastfeeding became a joy with him and was our mummy and baby time, especially after I went back to work.

I fell pregnant with DS 2 when ds1 was 9 months old, I happened to mention to some friends ("good" friends) that I was still BF ds1 and they were horrified. One told me that as soon as they had teeth you should stop BF, and the other just looked disgusted at me.

Needless to say if got in my head and the plan I had to try and tandem feed got washed away and I started to wean Ds.

Ds2 is now 12 mo and still BF, I can still see their disgusted faces in my head and feel like I can no longer feed him in public as people will think it's gross.

Do you think IAU to feel like this, have you had any similar comments or reactions when BF an older baby?

It’s a very common attitude that exist amongst less educated groups in orsociety where breasts are still highly sexualised. Normal people don’t see anything wrong with breastfeeding infants and don’t create these artificial boundaries (like teeth) to make themselves feel more comfortable about breast feeding. Don’t worry too much about what they said, they’re just not very bright clearly.

I breastfed my first three boys until nearly two years old, ds4 (spoilt!) fed for nearly a year longer.

Please continue to do it with your son if that is what you want to do.

I know it is very hard to not take other people's views on board, but now might be the time to practice shaking them off and doing what is right for you and your son.

I fed ds1 to 2 years, ds2 to 2.5 years and ds3 to 3 years. I don't care what anyone thinks of that.

I bf until DS was 2 and had to give up when I was taken into hospital. The only judging I got was from the consultant who said I couldn't possibly think I'd still need to bf him at his age so wouldn't consider any sort of arrangement so I could continue. As it happens DS didn't seem too bothered so it was probably time anyway but it did upset me a bit

@juelles if it is too much for your body milk production stops. Mine stopped st three months pregnant for example. But some women keep lactating the whole way through.

If I had any responses like that I didn’t care. Anyone can have their own opinions, don’t let them upset you.

The only judging I got was from the consultant who said I couldn't possibly think I'd still need to bf him at his age so wouldn't consider any sort of arrangement so I could continue

What a t**t

I think I’d have got PALS to ask him to explain to me why he was ignoring WHO/UNICEF and indeed NHS guidelines to BF until 2+ years as optimum nutrition. Especially if the hospital has UNICEF/BF friendly status.... I would have put in a complaint! But as an HCP I can’t atand this sort of BS from HCPs who should know better. My NCT friend told me they asked her repeatedly if she’d be “more comfortable” BF in a private room when she was waiting for a postnatal check up...in the hospital POST NATAL Outpaitents of all places!!!!!!! (To which my reply would have been “no I’m perfectly comfortable here thankyou, would you be more comfortable if I fed in a private room?”)

I don’t think I’d have such confidence in the wider public but in a hospital ffs!!!

Someone told me recently that they think BF is disgusting, in response to my saying that I’m BF my 12 month old. Luckily I’m on DC2 and don’t give an F what anyone has to say about my parenting choices anymore. It’s shocking that people feel comfortable saying that. Tells you how ingrained the attitudes about breasts being for sex and not for babies are.

Join a BF group either online or in person. It helps a lot to have friends going through the same and sharing stories.

Oh and one coworker told me her friend who BF her 2 year old “does it for her own pleasure.” I BF DC1 for 16 months so of course I wonder if she thinks I was getting some weird kick out of it

Ignore and dint engage.
Don't tell them you are still bfing. Do your own thing at your own pace.
They have no right to judge whether you are still bfing or not.

You know what is best for your child, so do it. I really do wonder if people express disgust because they just feel guilt over their own choices

BF a toddler for your own pleasure 😂🤣😂🤣

Yeh cause a biting, wriggling, awkward, pinching, clingy, “BF round the clock when they’re ill” toddler is so pleasurable

Same reaction to those who say “she’s only doing it for herself/her own selfish reasons etc etc blah blah”

They have obviously never met a strong willed, determined and stubborn 2-3 year old who is thoroughly emotionally attached to the boob!!

The only pleasure I get from BF a toddler is the 5 mins off from chasing them round the house trying to stop them diving off the furniture 😂