I need a cast-iron excuse to duck out of our works Xmas dinner..

[Getmeoutahere5]

Aibu? Maybe. We are a small workforce of 16. One of the 16 has been extremely abusive to me in the past & management did nothing about it as the abuse happened outside work. (he asked me out, I said no, he got violent). He's moving on to another role somewhere else in the new year, so I'll have a fresh start then. I can just about tolerate our work time but I really can't be arsed with the works xmas dinner/party this year. For the record, it'll take place on a Sunday after we close our office at midday. So I need a cast-iron believable excuse as to why I can't be there. We all know each other so well, the 'I'm off on holiday/my dm's sick/helping a friend move house' etc isn't going to cut it. It's quite a big deal our xmas dinner, we all sit around table together & are handed awards for the years work, I've never known anyone bunk it before. I just really don't want to do it.

Has anyone got a good excuses that won't cause me to trip up in the new year? The whole office know that I'm single & have no family.

I don’t want to go in case prick is abusive again. After all I know management will consider it outside of work and therefore won’t protect me if I am attacked.

Bold but truthful.

'Hi boss. I won't be going as it isn't safe. Thanks anyway'.

I think it's totally reasonable not to go. I hated the work's do at an old place of work, so I just told them: "you're my colleagues, not my friends." Harsh but true .

Volunteering in a soup kitchen? Old friend in town for one afternoon only? Norovirus? Boiler broken down and someone coming to repair it? Friend’s cat sitter fallen through so you have to step in?

Good luck - and sorry you’re in such a shit and unfair situation

I have to ask, did you not report this violence to the police? That aside, I would tell your manager the exact reason why - you don't want to be around this co-worker outside of the office.

Elderly neighbour has had a fall & your staying with her til family get there.

Tell the truth

D&V!!! will require a bit of acting in the morning but should give you 48 hours

Just throw a sickie on the last day and don't go in at all.

Could you say you won't be attending 'for personal reasons'?

Could you 'develop' a migraine/upset stomach on Sunday morning?

What about having a burst pipe/conked out boiler/other plumbing emergency and you've got to be home to let an engineer in (your lack of partner/family will work in your favour here).

Just be honest - just say no, thank you.

You don’t need to justify your absence.

Winter vomiting bug. Really gutted that you'll miss out, as you soooo enjoy it, but on the toilet all night. Poor you.

Do christenings happen on sundays? If so you’re going to be a godmother. You’re delighted. Unfortunately ceremony is straight after work. Go dressed in christening appropriate type clothes.

I didn't realise Christmas parties were compulsory and you needed a solid excuse not to go?

Tell your Manager the truth and it will score you more points than making an excuss which may come back to bite you,does it make any differnce to your team now seeing that the culprit is moving on.

Getme did you forget you were coming to my 21st/40th/50th birthday that afternoon?

I will be really upset if you have forgotten after accepting and try to turn me down for a better invite...

I have no shame. I'd let a dear distant but totally imaginary auntie die. You're ok but your mum/dad is bereft and you just have to be there.

This won't be everyone's cup of tea. But needs must.

Tell the truth - that this man is someone you absolutely do not wish to socialise with because of his violence towards you - you won't be able to relax enjoy it and will not feel safe.

I don't think you need an excuse. Its appalling that you have been put in this position.
If you have to say anything I think you should just tell your manager that you refuse to be put in a situation which puts you at risk of further violence and or abuse. I assume there will be alcohol at this dinner which increases the risk of violence from this man

I'd just tell the truth , why wouldn't you?
Don't be pressurised into minimising what happened. You're the injured party here.

I agree with @ErrolTheDragon. They need to understand the impact of this man's behaviour.

do you have a DP
my sister and her DP do this

DSis to work " I would love to come but its DP's work do so need to stay in"

DP to work " I would love to come but unfortunately its DP's work do that night so I need to stay with kids"

result both have cosy night in!!!!

I have the brilliant excuse of a DD with a december birthday, as works do are never too late in the month ie 23rd etc I always arrange her party etc for the same time as work do now I work for myself so it's not a problem

I don't think you need to justify yourself and you don't need to give any reason. I have also ducked out of mine (I am expected to be there as management) but simply replied "Thanks for the invite, sorry I won't be attending. Have a fab time! Blue". To be honest more excuses are completely see through and very evident - so just don't give one and say you won't be attending but thanks for the thought.

I get paid to talk to you until mid day. I'm not doing it on my own time.

You're going to an old school friends 40th /50th/ 60th delete as appropriate birthday afternoon tea at a swanky hotel